Dr. James Wilson Quotes

Latest Dr. James Wilson quotes from House M.D.

Dr. James Wilson

Dr. James Wilson chatacter image

Dr. James Wilson is played by Robert Sean Leonard in House M.D..

Quotes

The wide side's too short. You're gonna look like Lou Costello. image

The wide side's too short. You're gonna look like Lou Costello.

Dr. Jekyll, I presume. They found a half-eaten sheep in the zoo, police wanna ask you a few questions...
 image

Dr. Jekyll, I presume. They found a half-eaten sheep in the zoo, police wanna ask you a few questions...

Dr. Wilson: Ah, yes. If it isn't Doctor "Ironside."
Dr. Gregory House: Ah, if it isn't Doctor "I Had No Friends When I Was Growing Up, So All I Did Was Watch TV By Myself, Which Is Why I Can Now Make Constant Pop Culture References Which No One Understands But Me."
Dr. Wilson: That's my name. Don't wear it out.

The story of life - Boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after. image

The story of life - Boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after.

 I'm going to piss off one of them, and they both scare me! image

I'm going to piss off one of them, and they both scare me!

Dr. James Wilson: House?
Dr. Gregory House: NO, it's your other friend in the asylum.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I heard House has met Sam.
Dr. James Wilson: First time, he was naked. Second time, he brought a transvestite prostitute to dinner. Overall, it could have been worse.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Great.

House, I'm not going to tell you a third time. Do not screw this up! Because I really don't want to clean up the mess. image

House, I'm not going to tell you a third time. Do not screw this up! Because I really don't want to clean up the mess.

Rebecca Adler: Am I ever gonna meet Dr. House?
Dr. James Wilson: Oh, you might run into him at the movies or on a bus.
Rebecca Adler: Is he a good man?
Dr. James Wilson: He's a good... doctor.
Rebecca Adler: Can you be one without the other? Don't you have to care about people?
Dr. James Wilson: Caring's a good motivator. He's found something else.

#9

Rebecca Adler: He's your friend, huh?
Dr. James Wilson: Yeah.
Rebecca Adler: Does he care about you?
Dr. James Wilson: I think so.
Rebecca Adler: You don't know?
Dr. James Wilson: As Dr. House likes to say, "Everybody lies."
Rebecca Adler: It's not what people say; it's what they *do.*
Dr. James Wilson: Yeah... he cares about me.

#10

Yes, concerned parents can be so annoying.

#11

Yes, concerned parents can be so annoying.

#12

Dr. Gregory House: When did my signature get so girly?
Dr. Allison Cameron: I can explain.

Dr. James Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.

Dr. Gregory House: It was so perfect. It was beautiful.
Dr. James Wilson: Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth.
Dr. Gregory House: And triteness kicks us in the nuts!

Dr. James Wilson: I'm still amazed you're actually in the same room with a patient.
Dr. Gregory House: People don't bug me until they get teeth.

Dr. James Wilson: You wanna come over for Christmas dinner?
Dr. Gregory House: You're Jewish.
Dr. James Wilson: Yeah, Hanukkah dinner. What... what do you care? It's food. It's people.

#17

Dr. Gregory House: Well, as long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want.
Dr. Gregory House: So between us we can do anything. We can rule the world!

Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
Dr. Gregory House: You certainly love saying it.

Hey. I'm a man. I don't have time for laundry. I'm savin' lives here.

#20

You know, in some cultures, it's considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another. Of course, in Swedish, the word friend can also be translated as "limping twerp."

#21

Fake low blood sugar - now THAT'S acting!

#22

Dr. Gregory House: That's why you're here? She wants you to keep an eye on me, make sure I don't cheat.
Dr. Wilson: No, I wanted to make sure you don't start firing shots from the clock tower.

Dr. Wilson: You learn anything?
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. I'm an addict.

Dr. Wilson: Billionaires buy movie studios to get laid. They buy hospitals to get respect.
Dr. Gregory House: And the reason you want respect?
Dr. Wilson: To... get laid.

Dr. Wilson: How do you know she needs a heart transplant?
Dr. Gregory House: I got my aura read today. It said someone close to me had a broken heart.

Dr. Gregory House: My car's been stolen.
Dr. James Wilson: Or rein car nated.

Everybody lies - except politicians? House, I believe you're a romantic. You didn't just believe him, you believed in him. You wanna come over tonight and watch old movies and - cry? Dr. Cameron's getting to you. Well, I guess you can't be around that much niceness and not get any on you.

#28

Only you could feel like crap about doing something good.

#29

Dr. James Wilson: Hey, you have to treat this like a regular case. Be yourself: cold, uncaring, distant.
Dr. Gregory House: Please, don't put me on a pedestal.

#30

Dr. James Wilson: We're discussing your new patient.
Dr. Gregory House: Must be a boring discussion, seeing that I haven't accepted a new patient.

Dr. Gregory House: You bastard. You invited my parents to dinner.
Dr. James Wilson: Geez, Cameron's got a big mouth!
Dr. Gregory House: Ha, not as big as yours!

Dr. James Wilson: You can't control your emotions.
Dr. Allison Cameron: No... just your actions.
Dr. James Wilson: You didn't do it, did you? You didn't sleep with him.
Dr. Allison Cameron: I couldn't have lived with myself.
Dr. James Wilson: You'd be surprised what you can live with.

Trying to win Stacy back by killing an animal. Very caveman.

#34

Dr. Eric Foreman: Can I talk to you about something in confidence?
Dr. Wilson: Of course.
Dr. Eric Foreman: It's about House.
Dr. Wilson: Oh, then, no.

Dr. James Wilson: You don't like yourself. But you do admire yourself. It's all you've got so you cling to it. You're so afraid if you change, you'll lose what makes you special.
Dr. James Wilson: Being miserable doesn't make you better than anybody else, House. It just makes you miserable.

#36

Dr. Weber: Who are you?
Dr. James Wilson: Just a lunatic who desperately needs a hobby.

#37

Dr. James Wilson: Heard you killed your supermodel.
Dr. Gregory House: Only for a minute.

Dr. Gregory House: Wilson! How long can you go without sex?
Dr. James Wilson: How long can you go without annoying people?

Dr. James Wilson: It's not all about sex, House.
Dr. Gregory House: Really? When did that change?

Dr. James Wilson: Have you read "Moby Dick"?
Dr. Gregory House: It was a book?

Dr. Gregory House: Is Cuddy still playing?
Dr. James Wilson: The chicken is still in Piccadilly Square.
Dr. Gregory House: Brilliant. She'll never suspect that Normandy is her target.

House, you are... as God made you!

#43

Dr. James Wilson: You're being cautious. You're being... common. When you don't give a crap...
Dr. Gregory House: How many of your guys have caught cancer from their patients? Let me know when that happens. Then we can have this conversation.
Dr. James Wilson: It's just another case, huh?
Dr. Gregory House: I'll bet you can even have unprotected sex with your cancer patients without catching a damn thing. Boy, I wish I had your job.

Dr. James Wilson: You're accessing a webcam?
Dr. Gregory House: Cuddy's shower. You a fan of the Brazilian?

Dr. James Wilson: And you blew it.
Dr. Gregory House: Technically...

If you could think of everything yourself, you wouldn't need a team to annoy.

#47

Dr. James Wilson: You're just like any other patient. Running away from knowledge that won't make you happy.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm as happy as a pig in poop.
Dr. James Wilson: You're scared the ketamine treatment's wearing off. That it was just a... torturous window to the good life.
Dr. Gregory House: What part of "poop" didn't you understand?

#48

Dr. James Wilson: Worried about meeting your one-patient-a-week quota?
Dr. Gregory House: I'm a cripple, remember? Accommodations must be made.

Dr. James Wilson: That was sensitive.
Dr. Gregory House :You have pretty hair.

Dr. James Wilson: Your real fear is me having a good relationship.
Dr. Gregory House: Yes, it keeps me up at night. That and the Loch Ness Monster, global warming, evolution, other fictional concepts.

Dr. Gregory House: Cameron sees a clump of dirt and she thinks of me.
Dr. James Wilson: Or a lump of something else.

Dr. James Wilson: I have a patient. I need...
Dr. Gregory House: Not now!
Dr. Allison Cameron: I'll go.
Dr. Gregory House: You'll stay. Patient's dying.
Dr. James Wilson: So's mine.
Dr. Gregory House: Not in the next hour.

#53

Beckett was going to call his play "Waiting for House's Approval" but decided it was too grim.

#54

I'm gonna need 30 pieces of silver.

#55

Dr. James Wilson: You're a coward, House. You find fault in everybody because you're afraid to look at yourself.
Dr. Gregory House: Thanks. I was running short on platitudes. You can leave now.

Are we role-playing? Am I you? I don't want to be you.

#57

Dr. Robert Chase: Happy Valentine's Day.
Dr. Allison Cameron: A holiday that only applies to people who are already paired up. For everyone else, it's Wednesday.
Dr. Robert Chase: Wow. Thank you for that dash of cold water.

Dr. Gregory House: I can play the harmonica with my nose, make a penny come out of a child's ear, or any other orifice for that matter, and given the right circumstances can bring two women to simultaneous ecstasy.
Dr. James Wilson: The right circumstances being their agreement to bill you on the same credit card.

Dr. Cameron: What are you doing?
Dr. Gregory House: Trying to avoid altitude sickness. Couldn't score a direct flight to Cambodia, so I decided to scale Argentina's infamous Mount Aconcagua
Dr. Cameron: Perfect, except for the fact that you can't walk.
Dr. Gregory House: There's a tribe of Mocovi Indians who actually carry the elders up...
Dr. Cameron: You're insane.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm an insane genius.

I think I'm starting to feel sorry for House.

#61

Dr. James Wilson: Yes, I slept with her.
Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?
Dr. James Wilson: No.
Dr. Gregory House: Yes you did!
Dr. James Wilson: Yes... I did.
Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?
Dr. James Wilson: No.

Dr. James Wilson: You! You! You! You were gonna let me do that?
Dr. Gregory House: You made a compelling argument.
Dr. James Wilson: You sent those flowers to me!
Dr. Gregory House: Yes, because you took her to a play. And because actually you do wanna march down there and kiss her.
Dr. James Wilson: No, I don't.
Dr. Gregory House: Yes, you do.
Dr. James Wilson: You're right.
Dr. Gregory House: Seriously?
Dr. James Wilson: No. You're a jerk.
Dr. Gregory House: Night, Wilson.
Dr. James Wilson: Night, House.

Dr. Gregory House: Why are you suspicious?
Dr. Wilson: Because it's either that or accept the fact that you've done something nice. And then I'd have to deal with the Horsemen and the Rain of Fire and the End of Days.

You made that call and because of that call, you basically guaranteed Foreman's out of here.

#65

Dr. James Wilson: No, but since she's not a dead cat, it is scientifically impossible for her to be in two places at once.
Dr. Gregory House: Physics joke. Don't hear enough of those.

Dr. James Wilson: Where are you?
Dr. Gregory House: CIA headquarters. How much fludarabine...?
Dr. James Wilson: Either you're sprawled naked on your floor with an empty bottle of Vicodin or collapsed naked in front of your computer with an empty bottle of Viagra. Please tell me which because Chase has another pool going.

You know, in some cultures, hiring people to steal someone's underpants is considered wooing. You should move there because here it's just, you know, creepy.

#68

Dr. James Wilson: Have you ever considered channeling your powers to, I don't know, bring peace to the Mid-East?
Dr. Gregory House: I couldn't do that.
Dr. James Wilson: But if they ever got it, you could screw it up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, that's more where my powers lie.

Dr. James Wilson: No, it's the whole thing. You need special sheets, and insurance...
Dr. Gregory House: Who cares? You wanted one your whole life. You're a grown up. You can afford it. Stores sell them.
Dr. James Wilson: Most adults don't go through life like you do, House. Indulging our every whim.
Dr. Gregory House: You don't deserve to be happy.
Dr. James Wilson: And yet I am. You?

You're feeling threatened because she's going onto high school and leaving you behind to repeat the eighth grade.

#71

Dr. James Wilson: Irene Adler. Christmas 2001. Sarcoid symptoms, but she didn't respond to methotrexate. I've never seen him so obsessed. He saved her with a last-minute Wegener's diagnosis, but the hours he put in... I thought it would kill him. And then... well, he fell for her, but it was too soon after Stacy and... It sounds silly, but Irene was the one who got away.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner: Really?
Dr. James Wilson: No, you idiots. House is just screwing with you.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You idiot! I was free and clear. Now he's coming and it's your fault!
Dr. James Wilson: Since when have your failed attempts at communication through lies become my fault?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Since you forgot how to keep your mouth shut! You messed it up, and now you're gonna fix it! And you're gonna keep my name out of it!

Dr. Lawrence Kutner: I think there's something wrong with House.
Dr. James Wilson: Who's he making miserable now?

Dr. Gregory House: You know how you hate it when I meddle in your lies... uh, I mean your life?
Dr. James Wilson: Why are you being so evasive unless you have something to evade?

Dr. James Wilson: Wow. This is fantastic! How are you going to screw it up?
Dr. Gregory House: Several good options. Unfortunately I don't think she's going to give me the pleasure, she left before I woke up and five minutes ago she told me that I'm just an employee.

Dr. Gregory House: Admit it - you're curious why I want to make her angry.
Dr. James Wilson: I'm sure it's convoluted, wrong, and stupid.

Dr. James Wilson: We know you're back on Vicodin.
Dr. Gregory House: No, the only thing you know is that I'm a genius who got a dog to pee in your toilet. You don't know how I did it, or more interestingly where I peed.

OK, I am not ready to transition from my dead girlfriend's shrine to your... morning glory. I'll have a mattress delivered and set up for you in the tabernacle. I just need it Tuesdays for animal sacrifices... Oh man. Ugh!

#79

Hello?... Uh... I don't know what department I want. I need... pants.

#80

Dr. James Wilson: There are a thousand people in the world who want to be on your staff. But you're going after the four who *don't*.
Dr. Gregory House: They "don't" because their lives are irrelevantly and annoyingly complicated. Which makes them confused. Which makes them make poor decisions.

Dr. James Wilson: I suppose throwing yourself into your work isn't the worst thing you could do.
Dr. Gregory House: What is the worst thing I could do?

I feel like Mike Tomlin. Probably not as much as you do, but you get the idea.

16 splenectomies. Pretty sure he gets a set of steak knives.

How you manage to elevate your narcissim to beneficence is masterful.

#85

Dr. James Wilson: You're Bonnie's friend. You know how to reach her and yet instead of calling her, you come and seek my permission. You want my blessing, and implicitly House's blessing.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I don't need House's blessing.
Dr. James Wilson: Good.

Dr. Gregory House: Nothing you can say is going to change anything.
Dr. James Wilson: I love this man! And I am not wasting another moment of my life denying that. Gregory House, will you marry me?
Dr. Gregory House: Wow. This is unexpected.

Dr. James Wilson: Ran into Nora in the elevator. She no longer thinks were gay. Now she thinks we're mendacious dirtbags.
Dr. Gregory House: Mendacious dirtbags comes more naturally to me. Least we can get rid of that.

It was nice of you. You didn't provoke Marcus to quit so the pranks would stop. You were becoming the common enemy they could bond over. You are the diabolical yet benevolent puppetmaster.

#89

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: What do you think I should do about Atlanticnet?
Dr. James Wilson: You're asking a guy who paid full sticker price for his last car. You ask House? He's a master manipulator who always gets what he wants.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: This situation is out of control enough already. House is the last person I want to get involved.

Giving him a computer is like giving plutonium to Dr. No.

#91

Dr. Wilson: I'm pacing in your office because I am physically incapable of buying furniture.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: For Amber's old place?
Dr. Wilson: ...Yeah. I... it needs some new...
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I know you bought the place I wanted. You're a jerk. Move on. Hire a decorator.

Thirteen - Dr. Hadley: Your dare is in the future, genius!
Dr. James Wilson: Hey, if you're saying you won't do it...
Thirteen - Dr. Hadley: No, no, no. Of course, I'll show my breasts to Taub. Uh, Tomorrow, or sometime next year, because I'm honor bound.

Dr. Robert Chase: You really don't think you're a knight, do you?
William: Being a knight isn't a game. It's a lifestyle. And we do it everyday. Not just when we play dress up. We live by a code and uphold ideals like: loyalty, courage, humility.
Dr. Chris Taub: And the part where you beat the crap out of each other in armor?
William: That we do for fun. At least it was, until yesterday.

Dr. James Wilson: You're trying to get us to fight.
Dr. Gregory House: No, I'm trying to help. If you got an issue, let her know.
Dr. James Wilson: I should've known that you weren't done sabotaging this.
Dr. Gregory House: Fine. Stew in your irritation. Sure your last time it bubbled over into resentment and rage, leading ultimately into painful divorce that neither of you really recovered from, but... I'm sure this time it'll be great.

Dr. Gregory House: It's not going to work though.
Dr. James Wilson: Maybe, but how bad can a night out at a lesbian bar be?

Dr. James Wilson: Sounds like you had fun last night.
Dr. Gregory House: You believe Chase?
Dr. James Wilson: I believe Foreman. And they had fun with you. What happened?
Dr. Gregory House: I realized they could be my friends.
Dr. James Wilson: You're serious?
Dr. Gregory House: And then I sobered up.

Dr. James Wilson: Sam likes you.
Dr. Gregory House: She wants me to move out.
Dr. James Wilson: No. I want you to move out. I didn't know things with Sam would happen so quickly. I didn't - I don't want to make mistakes here. I've made a lot of mistakes.

Dr. James Wilson: You having fun down there?
Dr. Gregory House: Lots. Every time Cuddy leans over to a patient, it's another opportunity for a down blouse nipple slip.

Dr. Gregory House: Hi, this is Gregory House. I can't take your call at the moment. Please leave a message. If this is Wilson, I'm fine. Not suicidal. Not on drugs. Coping very well with the loss of my last patient. So feel free to go about your day without worrying. Beeeeeep.
Dr. James Wilson: House. You can't just not show up to work. What's Cuddy going to say?
Dr. Gregory House: If this is still Wilson, she gave me the day off and tomorrow
Dr. Gregory House: Okay, maybe not tomorrow, but today. I'm fine. Now go away! Beeeeeep.

Dr. Gregory House: I can't handle it.
Dr. James Wilson: What happened?
Dr. Gregory House: She said yes. I heard "no." I didn't actually hear "no." I just was sure that's what she meant. The way she tilted her head and half arched her eyebrow. Why do I even care what she meant? She said "yes." That's all that matters. I'm screwing this up.

Dr. James Wilson: Putting up with irrationality is the foundation for every relationship. I agree with Sam when she's calling her father a monster. I agree with her when she's calling him a saint. And in exchange, I get to have sex with her. And I'm sure she has similar trade offs with me. Relationships are hard. You have to make sacrifices. So sacrifice being crazy, go get her a gift and apologize.
Dr. Gregory House: You finally made a good point.
Dr. James Wilson: Which clearly, you have misunderstood based on how quickly you agreed.
Dr. Gregory House: Your kitchen's burning.

Dr. James Wilson: Cuddy will be home from work in six hours. But no big deal. I'll just scream, "Look over there" while you quickly shove a scope up her daughter's rectum.
Dr. Gregory House: I could offer to babysit again, Let her have the night out.
Dr. James Wilson: Sure. That won't raise any suspicions.

Dr. Gregory House: I have a problem. A medical problem which could become... I have lied to Cuddy 10,000 times. How do you think she'd feel about 10,001?
Dr. James Wilson: I think you probably already know the answer.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, but that doesn't make any sense.
Dr. James Wilson: You don't understand why a woman might be upset because her boyfriend lied to her?
Dr. Gregory House: I wouldn't be lying to her as a boyfriend. I'd be lying as her employee.
Dr. James Wilson: That's not how relationships work.

You were an idiot for lying to her in the first place. Don't be more of an idiot now. Say nothing to no one about anything - that includes me. image

You were an idiot for lying to her in the first place. Don't be more of an idiot now. Say nothing to no one about anything - that includes me.

Dr. James Wilson: Pretend to apologize.
Dr. Gregory House: You want me to lie?
Dr. James Wilson: There's a lovely symmetry to it. A lie got you into it, a lie gets you out of it.
Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies. I'm sure Cuddy... Just need to give her a chance.
Dr. James Wilson: Yeah, that must've been what I meant.

Dr. Gregory House: Cuddy wants to get Rachel into Waldenwood Preschool. Problem is Rachel's dumber than a paste sandwich.
Dr. James Wilson: And her not getting in bothers you. You care about Rachel. That was not advice.
Dr. Gregory House: Cuddy cares about her, which means when Rachel gets rejected, Cuddy will be upset. Then, as a boyfriend, I will be expected to be supportive and consoling.
Dr. James Wilson: Not your strengths, I grant you. Leave it alone. It's just a play date. It'll be fine.
Dr. Gregory House: "Play date" being their code for "way to weed out the paste sandwiches." They'll hand her puzzles and counting games and Rachel will just sit there and eat the pieces.
Dr. James Wilson: Oh, crap! Crap! I'm such a sucker.
Dr. Gregory House: Thanks for the advice.

Dr. Gregory House: Oh grow up. If porn was bad why would there be so many nuns in it?
Dr. James Wilson: Why is she mad?
Dr. Gregory House: I was myself which by the way she's supposed to love unconditionally.

Dr. James Wilson: You're scared because nothing excites you. Fun doesn't excite you. Puzzles don't excite you. What's left? And I was saying you're right. You're upset. You're depressed. Everything's going to taste a little worse right now, but... it'll pass.
Dr. Gregory House: It's understandable. You're scared because you think I'm falling apart. And you're trying to convince yourself that you're overreacting.

You're the first boss he's ever had who could handle him. Before you, he was either fired or buried under a mountain of malpractice suits. He needs someone to say no. He needs someone he'll listen to when they say no. If you really care about him, you'll stop feeling sorry for him and get out there and start kicking him where he needs kicking.

Dr. James Wilson: STOP! You're both at fault here.
Dr. James Wilson: You - for trying to manipulate him when you used to know better.
Dr. James Wilson: And YOU for - being you, which is an especially bad idea under the circumstances.

I think you want everything to be physical, tangible, simple. You want unhappiness to have a cure.

Dr. James Wilson: You've got mail.
Dr. James Wilson: I hope your leg feels better, and I hope we can be friends again soon, you bloody scallywag.

So you can only handle not self-destructing by being self-destructive?

Dr. James Wilson: Ahh. Ahhh.
Dr. James Wilson: Dinner later? I'll pick something up.
Dr. Gregory House: I... I probably know a new vegetarian place.
Dr. James Wilson: Screw that. I want a steak. I'll meet at your place at eight.

Dr. James Wilson: Taking money from a sick person is ethically suspect at best.
Dr. Gregory House: What is this, Canada? All we do is take money from sick people.

Dr. Eric Foreman: What's House up to? He hasn't asked me for anything. He's been incredibly well behaved. He's doing his clinic hours.
Dr. James Wilson: That is a sign of concern.

Dr. Eric Foreman: My job is to be the jerk. House has to believe I have authority over him.
Dr. James Wilson: He can't function under someone's thumb.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I know which means you can't go either.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Your job is to be his friend -to stay here and watch the fight on pay-per-view while bitching about me. If we both do our jobs, we might actually get him through his parole.

Dr. James Wilson: Why do you care if he works on two cases?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Because next it'll be 3 cases, then 4. Then animal cases and ghost cases. And then animal ghost cases. Assuming we are talking about House.

Dr. James Wilson: Two people are happy and your natural impulse is to destroy it.
Dr. Gregory House: How do you know she's happy? She tell you?
Dr. James Wilson: No. Chirping birds flew out of her butt carrying a banner.

Dr. Gregory House: You know what this means?
Dr. James Wilson: Your mom's a slut?
Dr. Gregory House: That, and she's not as boring as I thought she was.

Dr. James Wilson: House?
Dr. Gregory House: Sshhh. I'm with a patient.
Dr. Gregory House: Sleep study.
Dr. James Wilson: You drugged him?
Dr. Gregory House: I didn't say the study was voluntary.

Dr. Gregory House: The sound of a needy child is stirring your paternal juices.
Dr. James Wilson: The sound of a needy child at 112 decibels has stirred my inner murderer. Don't mess with me.

Dr. James Wilson: You think I'm going to quit on this? On an 11-year-old?
Dr. Gregory House: The only relationship you haven't quit on has been with me.
Dr. James Wilson: Hmm. A needy, truculent narcissist. I think it's been perfect training for parenthood.

Dr. Gregory House: I had sex with Dominika.
Dr. James Wilson: In a dream?
Dr. Gregory House: It wasn't literally sex. Technically, it was flossing. You know, teeth, testicles. I think the symbolism is pretty clear.

I am not going to die slowly in a hospital bed under fluorescent lighting with people stopping by to gawk and lie about how I look. Even a small chance of that happening is too big a chance for me.

All I wanted was some meaningless fun, and I couldn't even last three days.

When I watch that transformation, sorry, I don't believe that we're just a bag of chemicals.

I don't owe you anything. Our entire relationship has been about you. My dying is about me.

Dr. James Wilson: When the cancer starts getting really bad...
Dr. Gregory House: Cancer's boring.

Dr. James Wilson: You're destroying your entire life. You can't go back from this. You'll go to jail for years. You can never be a doctor again.
Dr. Gregory House: I'm dead, Wilson. How do you want to spend your last five months?

Dr. James Wilson: You think he could have done something stupid?
Dr. Eric Foreman: I think stupid is our best case scenario.

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