House M.D. quotes

Dr. Remy 'Thirteen' Hadley: Pain could be caused by a blind uterus hidden in his abdomen. He needs an MRI.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Right, boy with girl genes. I'm sure you're the first doctor brilliant enough to check for a uterus.

Thirteen, Dr. Eric Foreman

Dr. James Wilson: Pretend to apologize.
Dr. Gregory House: You want me to lie?
Dr. James Wilson: There's a lovely symmetry to it. A lie got you into it, a lie gets you out of it.
Dr. Gregory House: Everybody lies. I'm sure Cuddy... Just need to give her a chance.
Dr. James Wilson: Yeah, that must've been what I meant.

Dr. James Wilson, Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Gregory House: Cuddy wants to get Rachel into Waldenwood Preschool. Problem is Rachel's dumber than a paste sandwich.
Dr. James Wilson: And her not getting in bothers you. You care about Rachel. That was not advice.
Dr. Gregory House: Cuddy cares about her, which means when Rachel gets rejected, Cuddy will be upset. Then, as a boyfriend, I will be expected to be supportive and consoling.
Dr. James Wilson: Not your strengths, I grant you. Leave it alone. It's just a play date. It'll be fine.
Dr. Gregory House: "Play date" being their code for "way to weed out the paste sandwiches." They'll hand her puzzles and counting games and Rachel will just sit there and eat the pieces.
Dr. James Wilson: Oh, crap! Crap! I'm such a sucker.
Dr. Gregory House: Thanks for the advice.

Dr. James Wilson, Dr. Gregory House