House M.D. quotes

I'm rescinding Mackman's discharge order. My lackeys will be in to do some more tests, take some more blood and empty your catheter bag. Not a moment you will want to cherish.

Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Gregory House: [When House and his team are at Chase's bedside] Lungs, rash, now excessive RR variability. Go.
Dr. Chris Taub: It's a hospital. There are lots of doctors who can take care of him.
Dr. Gregory House: And your thinking is that only you guys are qualified to sit in this room doing nothing? If you're motivated by caring, just bear in mind, he's a dedicated chemistry teacher with a pretty wife and adoring students, baby on the way.
Dr. Jessica Adams: She's not pregnant.
Dr. Gregory House: Would it make a difference? 'Cause I could knock her up. Autonomic dysregulation...
Dr. Jessica Adams: Shut up.

Dr. Chris Taub, Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Gregory House: How many friends do you have?
Lucas Douglas: Seventeen.
Dr. Gregory House: Seriously? Do you have a list?
Lucas Douglas: No, I knew this conversation was really about you, so I just gave you an answer so you could get back to your train of thought.

Dr. Gregory House