Teresa Lisbon Quotes

Latest Teresa Lisbon quotes from The Mentalist

Teresa Lisbon

Teresa Lisbon chatacter image

Teresa Lisbon is played by Robin Tunney in The Mentalist.


Teresa Lisbon: Cho and I have a trial meeting with Deputy AG.
Kimball Cho: Not if I throw myself into oncomin traffic first. image

Teresa Lisbon: Cho and I have a trial meeting with Deputy AG.
Kimball Cho: Not if I throw myself into oncomin traffic first.

Jupiter: It's the biggest day of their lives, don't you get that?
Teresa Lisbon: Barney Sloop had his head bashed in, Mr. Gallegos. Big day for him too. image

Jupiter: It's the biggest day of their lives, don't you get that?
Teresa Lisbon: Barney Sloop had his head bashed in, Mr. Gallegos. Big day for him too.


  Hey Cho... Oh no... Oh great. No. No, you can handle this one. Just be clear that the CBI is not liable. He is just a consultant. image

Hey Cho... Oh no... Oh great. No. No, you can handle this one. Just be clear that the CBI is not liable. He is just a consultant.


Patrick Jane: Fool to herself - that girl. It was never going to work.
Teresa Lisbon: Don't be so cynical. image

Patrick Jane: Fool to herself - that girl. It was never going to work.
Teresa Lisbon: Don't be so cynical.

Check on the girlfriend. She's got no real alibi other than being a hippie. image

Check on the girlfriend. She's got no real alibi other than being a hippie.


Patrick Jane: See that face? That's exactly why I didn't tell you the plan.
Teresa Lisbon: It's not a good plan.
Patrick Jane: It's a good enough plan and Rigsby is wearing one of those ear thingies, I will talk him through the con. He'll be fine.
Teresa Lisbon: What if the killer doesn't show up?
Patrick Jane: Then we go back to old fashion police work. But this way we get to enjoy some room service. Please, have a seat.

 I got to get out of here. image

I got to get out of here.


Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do so worse things don't happen. image

Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do so worse things don't happen.


You were difficult and exhausting and maybe I don't want to put the rest of my life on hold to be your sidekick. image

You were difficult and exhausting and maybe I don't want to put the rest of my life on hold to be your sidekick.


Oh, you're helping, by going on a date. image

Oh, you're helping, by going on a date.

You checked luggage? What are you, on vacation?


Grace Van Pelt: "Greetings, old friend. It's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have twelve wives now and will soon begin courting number thirteen. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh, well. All the best. Red John."
Kimball Cho: That sounds like the real deal to me.
Patrick Jane: Sounds like Red John. It's not. Red John wouldn't risk capture just to taunt me.

Patrick Jane: I was sure the chef would bite. I mean, there's still a chance he could show up.
Teresa Lisbon: The chef? Malcolm. Why do you think it's him?
Patrick Jane: He uses way too much butter.
Teresa Lisbon: Say...
Patrick Jane: He's a gluttonous baby. He's self-indulgent. He wants what he wants and he takes it.
Teresa Lisbon: Too much butter.
Patrick Jane: Yeah.
Teresa Lisbon: It's fascinating the way your mind works. One thing, though. Malcolm was in the kitchen with twenty people when Melanie was taken. He couldn't have done it.
Patrick Jane: Hang on. There... there... there is a way he could.
Teresa Lisbon: Forgive me if I can't stay for more of your theorizing, but I've got to go and see if I can save your colleagues from getting formal complaints in their files.

We don't discuss our personal lives in this unit. It's not useful and it's unprofessional.


Virgil Minelli: What were you thinking? Leaving this man alone at an event like that?
Teresa Lisbon: No excuses. I mistakenly treated him like a responsible adult.


Teresa Lisbon: Hey.
Patrick Jane: Pineapple. He smelled like pineapple.
Teresa Lisbon: Pineapple? What the hell? Go -
Teresa Lisbon: Okay. Good. Listen, tell Rigsby, Teresa needs help.

Teresa Lisbon: Your people are carny folk? You're finally making sense to me.
Patrick Jane: Not exactly, it's a long story.

Clara Tennant: She said that she would protect us... She promised my dad that she would. Parents are supposed to protect their kids!
Teresa Lisbon: Yes, they are.

Virgil Minelli: Now we're arresting them. Hooray.
Teresa Lisbon: We have the right. He assaulted Jane and he looks good for the murders.
Virgil Minelli: Before you charge a cop with murder, he better look better than good. He better look like damn the Mona Lisa.


Teresa Lisbon: Jane, we're officers of the law.
Patrick Jane: You are. I don't care about the law. I care about justice. And justice says Machado deserves to suffer.
Teresa Lisbon: That's not justice, it's vengeance.
Patrick Jane: What's the difference?

Wayne Rigsby: Oh the "mummy" I get it. Bandages.
Teresa Lisbon: Hey. No more pain killers for him.

Teresa Lisbon: Just do me the favor of listening to me for a minute so I can say "I told you so" later.
Patrick Jane: Sure.

Teresa Lisbon: We closed cases before he came. We'll close cases after he's gone.
Kimball Cho: Yeah. Just not so many.
Wayne Rigsby: The cases are *not* the point! It's not that we need him. He needs

Teresa Lisbon: There's no such thing as black magic.
Patrick Jane: Somebody disagrees.

Teresa Lisbon: I wanna get Harry Lashley's killer as much as you do. But we cannot go after Arlov. The State Department...
Patrick Jane: A fig to the State Department.
Wayne Rigsby: I agree. Screw 'em.
Teresa Lisbon: That attitude is why *I'm* in charge and you guys aren't.

Teresa Lisbon: Do you keep a list of your pickups?
Paul Fricke: Yeah, of course. I have them here.
Paul Fricke: Names, numbers, and a one-to-10 grading system.
Teresa Lisbon: Nice. Something to show your grandkids.


Victor Castillo: The make believe was a bit unorthodox, unpleasant, but - I'm sure you all know what you're doing.
Teresa Lisbon: Most of the time.


Grace Van Pelt: Boss?
Teresa Lisbon: Hmm?
Grace Van Pelt: I've been here nearly six months now. Almost half a year.
Teresa Lisbon: What do you want? Half a cake?

I'll do worse if you don't stop mouthing off to people who are trying to help you.


Teresa Lisbon: Know what's weird about those guys? None of them seem to give a damn. A colleague of theirs falls out of the sky and they seem okay with it. Is that guilt or indifference?
Patrick Jane: Corporate brainwashing.

I allow you to drive me around the country in this contraption. That's serious trust.


I didn't eat all this cheese and grease for nothing. The case is closed. You're just seeing suggestions everywhere. You're too suggestible.


Teresa Lisbon: That was your weed and your pills we found in the car, wasn't it?
Sydney Hanson: You're the man, you figure it out.


Teresa Lisbon: What'd you learn?
Patrick Jane: Well, she's scared, she's of Italian descent, she bites her nails, she doesn't like pets or pineapple.
Teresa Lisbon: Useful stuff.

Orrin, we can let this or or we can take it to the next level. And that's going to involve your parents and lawyers.


I've had it with you and your egotistical crap! This - this isn't about justice or the law. This is about you and your wounded pride. I'm done with it!


Van Pelt, it's not a jet plane!


Dr. Roy Carmen: Do you know why counseling is mandatory for CBI agents who have been involved in a shooting?
Teresa Lisbon: Because nobody would come if it was voluntary?


You were right doctor, there was something I wanted to tell you. I act calm on the outside but on the inside, I'm so angry sometimes I think I'm gonna explode. All the misery and pain that I see everyday makes me wanna scream, but I lock it down. I lock it down because I have to be calm and rational because that's my job, but I wanna pull this trigger. I wanna kill.


Teresa Lisbon: It's good to see you care.
Patrick Jane: You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Deputy Nick Fisher: What's this guy's problem?
Teresa Lisbon: That would take way too long to answer.


Virgil Minelli: Lisbon. I had a horrible dream. I dreamt that Jane escaped the County Jail. I dreamt that the Sheriff, the AG, and the District Super all called to yell at me. Now, you're going to wake me up, yes?
Teresa Lisbon: I'm sorry, sir. I have no excuse for him. He is beyond out of line.


Wayne Rigsby: Local P. D. Stomped all over the scene. Don't think forensics will be any use.
Teresa Lisbon: It's like they don't even watch TV. Every toddler knows this stuff.

You know what? Jane's not the problem. You are. You're so stuck on the idea that he's not a cop that you can't see what he is. You know how many cases he's closed for us? You think he's giving me bad habits? I think he's made me a better cop.


You think that Sam Bosco's gonna let a little lead stop him? Please.


Kimball Cho: Which one's ours?
Teresa Lisbon: The one that looks like she blows her nose with hundred dollar bills.
Kimball Cho: They all look like that.

Well I'm just saying be careful. That you sell your talent and not your soul. Don't let other people run your lives not even your dad. And trust me I know what I'm talking about.


Grant: Stephanie? Oh my God. You look fantastic.
Teresa Lisbon: I'm sorry. I'm not Stephanie. I'm...
Patrick Jane: Whoa.
Teresa Lisbon: Do that again and I'll arrest you!
Grant: Sorry, I had to. You've always been the one.


Teresa Lisbon: You guys look into this Jasper character.
Patrick Jane: Don't bother, he's a red herring.
Grace Van Pelt: What does it mean anyway? "A red herring?"
Teresa Lisbon: A red herring is what you look into regardless of what Jane tells you.


Abigail Barge: Tell Mr. Jane, he's a mean, irresponsible sadist.
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, I will.


Wayne Rigsby: Why are we here? We don't know if it's a murder.
Teresa Lisbon: One of the chefs called her daddy who's a state senator, who called the AG, who called the assistant AG, who called me. So we're here. I hate politics.

Teresa Lisbon: Don't you have anybody you want to call besides Cho and Rigsby?
Patrick Jane: If I were dying, I'd want to call you, but you're already here, so there's no need.

Patrick Jane: Sorry. She's a little cranky. New boss coming.
Teresa Lisbon: Enough with that!

Dolores Brinton: Will the Tribal Police be with you?
Teresa Lisbon: They're aware of the investigation. We'll keep them in the loop.
Dolores Brinton: I should go with you.
Teresa Lisbon: That's not necessary.
Dolores Brinton: As far as some of them are concerned, you're foreigners. Foreigners with badges. You won't get anything. I'll get my coat.
Patrick Jane: Excellent. Well, we've got ourselves a native guide.

Teresa Lisbon: No food, no water. This is not good.
Patrick Jane: Well, I suppose we should draw straws to see who eats who first.

Bret Stiles: You know, now I see why... Red John really enjoys sparring with you. A worth adversary.
Patrick Jane: Straight for the jugular.
Teresa Lisbon: Obviously struck a nerve.

Teresa Lisbon: Your file says that you finished college at 16, graduate school at 19. You were sent here after nearly choking your father to death.
Oliver: He's not my father. He's a cyber clone sent by the galactic quantum lords.
Patrick Jane: Oh, them. You know, they're always up to something shady.

Patrick Jane: Oh sweetheart. There you are. Join us. I got us a room and our friend here.
Novella: Novella.
Patrick Jane: Novella. She's going to help us explore some boundaries.
Teresa Lisbon: No, she's not.
Patrick Jane: Work with me Teresa.

Teresa Lisbon: You should make that call.
Patrick Jane: What call?
Teresa Lisbon: Right, like I'm not a detective too.

Teresa Lisbon: We're family! What you're doing is a kind of betrayal, a surrender, a defeat. You're letting Red John win!
Patrick Jane: Oh please. Please, really? Okay enough. All right. No more pulling away. All right? Here, give me a hug.
Teresa Lisbon: You don't mean it. I can tell.
Patrick Jane: What do you mean? You can't tell. I don't mean it, but you can't tell that I don't. You're guessing.
Teresa Lisbon: Yes, I can tell.
Patrick Jane: How?
Teresa Lisbon: I don't know. I can tell when you're lying.
Patrick Jane: You can't.
Teresa Lisbon: I can too.
Patrick Jane: That' nonsense. You're lying. Liar, liar pants on fire.
Teresa Lisbon: I'm not lying.
Patrick Jane: You are.

Teresa Lisbon: Where is Mrs. Dublin?
Kimball Cho: Yeah, she cries a lot. Then she has to freshen her makeup. Then she cries again. Sort of a cycle.

Teresa Lisbon: You--come on. Let's talk.
Vigilance Guard 1: Before we do, can I just ask: are you happy in your lives?
Teresa Lisbon: Sit down!


Pauline: Agent, if my daughter comes to harm because you frittered away your time looking into her personal life, your career is over. Do you understand?
Teresa Lisbon: Ma'am, I understand your distress during this difficult time, but we'll go wherever this investigation takes us. It's my duty.


Walter Mashburn: So my friends say because you saved me that means you own me.
Teresa Lisbon: They have a return policy?


Uh, people are bored because nobody's been killed that needs our help. It's a good thing when homicide detectives are bored.


Teresa Lisbon: More cases?
Kimball Cho: Complaints. I went down to the outreach officer in community relations and asked if they had a file on Jane.
Teresa Lisbon: Looks like there's more than one.
Kimball Cho: He has his own filing cabinet.

Teresa Lisbon: There's no upside to taking the law into your own hands. Revenge truly doesn't work.
Patrick Jane: Well, that's just a sweeping statement, isn't it? I'm sure we all can think of examples where revenge has worked splendidly.
Teresa Lisbon: Thanks for your input.
Patrick Jane: Just saying.

Patrick Jane: I think you like getting beat up. A little masochistic streak there, huh?
Teresa Lisbon: Thanks for that. Thanks

Speaking of mental facilities, have you seen Jane? I need to talk to him.


Gale Bertram: Agent Lisbon, I-I just had a conversation with a reporter from the Examiner and he seemed to know a *lot* about the situation in Crane Creek. I told him that no matter what any unnamed source may say, CBI puts civilian safety first. And we are *not* bowing to local pressure to do otherwise. I also told him that authority in Crane Creek resides with our head agent in the field - you. I've let Bagshaw and his chief know that you're in charge.
Teresa Lisbon: Thank you, sir.
Gale Bertram: We'll discuss this again.


Wayne Rigsby: Well, maybe we'll get lucky. Catch a dunk. We're due an easy one.
Teresa Lisbon: Ugh, you shouldn't have said that.
Wayne Rigsby: Said what?
Teresa Lisbon: "We're due an easy one." Now we're jinxed.
Wayne Rigsby: Sorry.

Patrick Jane: It was self-defense.
Teresa Lisbon: Exactly, and if it was self-defense, she'll be acquitted.
Patrick Jane: Oh, and the courts never get it wrong. The system never chews people up.
Teresa Lisbon: We are the system, Jane. We get it right most of the time.

Madeleine Hightower: I hope they weren't too much trouble.
Teresa Lisbon: Not at all. I have three nearly feral brothers. Kids are sweethearts.


Teresa Lisbon: Wow. When you boys decide to destroy a woman's reputation, you really go all out!
Gale Bertram: Lisbon, you're the one who just told me the Johnson and Montero murders were linked. Now we have evidence. If you're too close to this, let me know. And I'll move you off this investigation.
Teresa Lisbon: I'll be fine, sir.


Patrick Jane: I'm off to the cafeteria for something deliciously suspended in gelatin.
Teresa Lisbon: I'm not even going to ask you where you're really going. You want to know why?... I don't have to know.

Kimball Cho: Listen boss.
Teresa Lisbon: Don't call me "boss." I'm not your boss. You're my boss.

Kimball Cho: Listen boss.
Teresa Lisbon: Don't call me "boss." I'm not your boss. You're my boss.

Yeah. Nothing like telling people their loved ones are dead. And oh by the way, lost the corpse.


Patrick Jane: Did you know that in seven years, each and every cell is completely replaced in your body? That means you are literally a different person from when we first met.
Teresa Lisbon: Sadder but wiser.

Teresa Lisbon: I know about your dad. I'm your boss. Steven Robert Rigsby - convicted of manslaughter, assault, drug dealing. Your father was on the list, wasn't he?
Wayne Rigsby: I checked out his alibi. No special treatment. If you want to send someone else...
Teresa Lisbon: I trust you, Rigsby. However, if you *ever* come into contact with your father on a case, next time you bring somebody with you.
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, okay.

Patrick Jane: For you
Teresa Lisbon: Does it squirt water?
Patrick Jane: Nooo, no trick... Maybe just a little trick. Catch the killer
Teresa Lisbon: With a hydrangea?
Patrick Jane: Ya
Teresa Lisbon: How?
Patrick Jane: Well wouldn't that be spoiling the fun?
Teresa Lisbon: ...for you. Spoiling the fun for you
Patrick Jane: That's the fun that matters

You listen to me. You tell me right now how to get this damn vest off, or God forgive me, I will kill you!


Teresa Lisbon: Maybe if we're lucky, he'll get second degree murder. Jane will be out of prison in 3 or 4 years.
Bailiff: Court is back in session.
Teresa Lisbon: The jury's back already? That can't be good.


J.J. LaRoche: It was... interesting - working with you and Jane.
Teresa Lisbon: I think that's the polite word for what it was. Thanks.


Teresa Lisbon: Jane, we don't have time for you to have a feud with this guy. It's - it's like your conscience is battling your old self. There's no upside.
Patrick Jane: You think that's why I'm here? Intriguing.


Teresa Lisbon: Hey Jane. We got Walton. The kid's nowhere to be seen.
Patrick Jane: Tell Rigsby to look in his left front pocket. There should be a note.
Teresa Lisbon: Rigs, is there a note in your left front pocket?
Wayne Rigsby: "The balloon man didn't take Connor."... Okay, so how did he do that?

Teresa Lisbon: Listen up here, Willie. Some of the stuff you're carrying you came off a dead man.
Willie Shubert: That's not good.
Grace Van Pelt: Neither is the dried blood on your shirt. How'd that get there?
Willie Shubert: Let's see uh... I got the blood on me when I was stabbing that fella in the alley.

Teresa Lisbon: Jane and I have to go to work. You mind hanging out in my office?
Annabeth Lisbon: Sure.
Patrick Jane: Rigsby is a nice, easy mark if you want to keep practicing.

Teresa Lisbon: Can you tell me where you were last night?
Richard Haibach: Home alone all night. Why, was there another murder?
Teresa Lisbon: I can't comment on an ongoing investigation, sir.
Richard Haibach: That means there was one. I'm not dumb.


Teresa Lisbon: Would you want that - to hear what people say about you when you're dead?
Patrick Jane: When I'm dead, they can burn me in effigy or build a statue or forget about me completely. I couldn't care less.
Teresa Lisbon: You don't mean that. Everybody wants to be remembered.
Patrick Jane: Childish vanity.
Teresa Lisbon: I want to be remembered.
Patrick Jane: And you shall be - fondly, because you won't care about it because when you're dead you're dead. And until then -
Patrick Jane: There's ice cream.

Let me know if you change your mind, or you know, get it back.


Patrick Jane: Nice Lady.
Teresa Lisbon: Nice? That's all you're gonna say? She's Nice?
Patrick Jane: Great legs.

Teresa Lisbon: What can you get for $127.68?
Kimball Cho: You can go crazy at the Olive Garden.

Gabriel Porchetto: You want me to do your job... fine... it was the Mexicans.
Teresa Lisbon: What Mexicans?
Gabriel Porchetto: 'Julio Iglesias'! Who do you think? The Zetas... the Zetas.
Teresa Lisbon: The Mexican drug cartel?
Gabriel Porchetto: Yeah.
Teresa Lisbon: Why would they want to kill your son?
Gabriel Porchetto: I'm not saying any more. About that sleeping trick?


Teresa Lisbon: She's a convicted murderer.
Patrick Jane: A convicted manslaughterer, actually.

Jessie Meadows: Miss Hill killed Gabe? Why?
Teresa Lisbon: There was political stuff going on. But I think mostly your brother just wanted you to be happy, and to get out.
Jessie Meadows: I don't know what to do.
Teresa Lisbon: We were going through your brother's laptop, and we found some videos that he'd made for you.
Teresa Lisbon: Kind of like letters. I thought you might like to see one.
Gabe Meadows: Happy birthday, sis. I hope it's a good one. I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you. I miss you so much, sis. I know we don't agree about some things, but, uh... I hope you know that I'm always here for you. Any time, I'll be waiting. See you soon, I hope.
Jessie Meadows: Are there more of these?
Teresa Lisbon: Yeah. There's a whole lot of them.
Jessie Meadows: Would it be okay if I stayed to watch a few?
Teresa Lisbon: You can stay as long as you'd like.


Teresa Lisbon: What about Meadows' sister?
Kimball Cho: She's at Clearview, the Visualize college.
Teresa Lisbon: Visualize has a college?
Kimball Cho: Apparently, you major in yourself.

Patrick Jane: I need your help.
Teresa Lisbon: My help? What about Darcy?
Patrick Jane: Eh... it didn't work out. Long story. Uh, no big deal. I'll tell you when you get here.
Teresa Lisbon: I'm busy here.
Patrick Jane: Call me when you're close.

Teresa Lisbon: You are a cool customer. You think you can outrun a tiger?
Patrick Jane: I don't have to. I just have to run faster than you.

Teresa Lisbon: This is too creepy.
Patrick Jane: Killers like creepy.

Teresa Lisbon: Did he say "crazy idea"?
Kimball Cho: He said "trust me".
Wayne Rigsby: Always a bad sign.

Teresa Lisbon: 11 years in Catholic school and I never got sent to the Principal's office once.
Patrick Jane: Well that's because you're a boring goody two shoes.
Teresa Lisbon: I didn't say I never did anything bad. I just never got caught.

Teresa Lisbon: What do you think?
Patrick Jane: Well, all cruelty stems from weakness, and this one's a quivering mass. Emotionally immature. Aggressively masculine. He harbors childhood pain tied to bedwetting or some similar humiliation. Yeah, he could be our killer, too.
Teresa Lisbon: You're not making this easy.

Teresa Lisbon: Why?
Patrick Jane: Lao-tzu.
Teresa Lisbon: Lao-tzu?
Patrick Jane: Famous Chinese philosopher.
Teresa Lisbon: What has he got to do with anything?
Patrick Jane: Ah, your unconscious sexual bias at work there, Lisbon. You assumed he was a he.
Teresa Lisbon: Well, was he?
Patrick Jane: He was. Not the point.

Teresa Lisbon: What about your promise to Bertram?
Patrick Jane: I had my fingers crossed.

Teresa Lisbon: What are you? Huh? Crazy?
Patrick Jane: Excuse me?
Teresa Lisbon: I told you to be careful. I told you not to go over the edge.
Patrick Jane: And I told you not to listen.
Teresa Lisbon: Don't be childish! I am not your girlfriend. I am an officer of the law. How could I not listen? You kissed her. You offered to help her escape.
Patrick Jane: And I would ask her to marry me if I thought she'd buy it. I was playing her.
Teresa Lisbon: She's playing you.

Teresa Lisbon: Now you're stealing an ambulance?
Patrick Jane: No, I'm just admiring the interior. Wicked GPS. How much you think one of these rigs goes for?

Patrick Jane: You really want me to tell you? It's gonna ruin the surprise.
Teresa Lisbon: Yes. I don't like surprises.
Patrick Jane: Three guesses then.
Patrick Jane: I'll give you a hint.
Patrick Jane: It's-it's not animal or vegetable.

Gale Bertram: Teresa. I didn't take you for a gambler.
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, it's not gambling if you know you're gonna win.
Gale Bertram: Whew! Well, we got a live one. Watch out.


Teresa Lisbon: Agent LaRoche.
J.J. LaRoche: Lisbon. Jane.
Patrick Jane: Hmm, yes. It's the man who watches the watchman. How's tricks?
J.J. LaRoche: You tell me.
Patrick Jane: Oh, you'll get nothing from me, copper. I'm no rat.


No offense but you have a bit of a homeless vibe about you.


Wayne Rigsby: So Minelli really hired this Jane guy?
Teresa Lisbon: Well, he exposed a corrupt cop, dethroned a judge. Those are all major points for us. As far as Minelli's concerned, he's a hero.

Ryan Kasmir: Is he going off script?
Teresa Lisbon: Yeah, he does that.


Robert Kirkland: If he's with her, he's in a lot of danger. You know him better than anybody, now if he did do this, where would he go?
Teresa Lisbon: Any place I could possibly think of is where he wouldn't go.


You know what? You can write my name down in that book.


Wayne Rigsby: Boss is it okay if I sit down?
Teresa Lisbon: You are sitting down Rigsby.

Patrick Jane: Lisbon, you're distracted and you have an eager gleam in your eye. Either you have a breakthrough in the Volker case, or you're in love. Which is it?
Teresa Lisbon: I got Judge Davis to sign the warrant, and Van Pelt should be getting Volker's records momentarily.
Patrick Jane: I was hoping it was love. You deserve happiness, but I'm glad for you anyway.

Patrick Jane: How was the rest of the party?
Teresa Lisbon: Torture. That can never, ever happen again.
Patrick Jane: Ten years, huh?
Teresa Lisbon: More, actually. Every year with you counts as two.

Ray Haffner: No, no. My hat's off. I-I only lasted two days as Jane's boss. He nearly killed me. So you--you --clearly know things that I don't.
Teresa Lisbon: He is not that hard to handle.
Ray Haffner: Really? Seriously? 'Cause I know a couple... thousand people who would disagree with that.


Teresa Lisbon: There is something off here. This place gives me the creeps.
Patrick Jane: Normally I'd be tempted to mock your superstition, but in this case I'm inclined to agree. Ladies first.

Patrick Jane: [checking out the victim's sailboat] Seems like a civilized way to travel, don't you think?
Teresa Lisbon: Are you kidding? Stuck on that thing in the middle of the ocean? It's like being in a prison cell with a chance of drowning.

Teresa Lisbon: Now that she's killed someone, they're gonna look again into her escape.
Patrick Jane: That's likely.
Teresa Lisbon: Jane, I know you broke her out of prison. And you know I know.
Patrick Jane: And I know you know I know.
Teresa Lisbon: This is not funny! If they find out, you could be charged as an accomplice to murder.
Patrick Jane: Well, if they find out. They won't, unless, of course, you sing to the coppers.
Teresa Lisbon: Which I won't. And that makes me an accomplice to murder, as well.
Patrick Jane: Well, only if you look at it like a very persnickety lawyer.

Teresa Lisbon: You need to try and start following the rules for a while. And if you must break the rules, break them on your own time.
Patrick Jane: When am I not on my own time?

Teresa Lisbon: Hi. We need to speak with Buddy Hennings.
Receptionist: If you want to be on the show, you have to fill out this form and take it to couples-intake.
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, we're not a couple. Please.
Patrick Jane: What she means is ours is more of a platonic love.

Teresa Lisbon: Hi. We need to speak with Buddy Hennings.
Receptionist: If you want to be on the show, you have to fill out this form and take it to couples-intake.
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, we're not a couple. Please.
Patrick Jane: What she means is ours is more of a platonic love.

Patrick Jane: I mean, no offense, but you have no dishonesty in you.
Teresa Lisbon: I Have Dishonesty in me. I can put up a front.

Patrick Jane: If I tell you why I won't tell you, you'll get mad at me.
Teresa Lisbon: I'm already mad at you. Just tell me.
Patrick Jane: No, you're not mad, you're just vexed. There is a difference.

Teresa Lisbon: What's your take on Partridge?
Patrick Jane: If he is Red John, he's a very good actor.
Teresa Lisbon: He would have to be, wouldn't he?

Teresa Lisbon: Nice push.
Patrick Jane: Eh, something good will come out of this. You'll see. Can we go back to Napa now?
Teresa Lisbon: Please.

Patrick Jane: Oh, what do you have planned for the day? You don't officially have a case, do you? You can relax. Get a massage, mani-pedi.
Teresa Lisbon: No. I have to go and offer protection to the six people on your list, which you are going to give me.
Patrick Jane: I was hoping you'd opt for the massage.

Teresa Lisbon: I am trying to wrap my mind around this. Now, you put the lives of seven innocent people in danger.
Patrick Jane: No, none of them are innocent. Marx defrauded hundreds of people, then he brutally murdered someone to cover it up. I assure you, Lisbon, all of these men are very bad. They just don't happen to be Red John.

Teresa Lisbon: What did she say?
Patrick Jane: She told me Red John has a tattoo on his left shoulder. Three dots. That's my leverage. I got him.

Wayne Rigsby: Hey, boss. Just got a call on the radio. Another homicide nearby. Attempted carjacking, looks like.
Teresa Lisbon: Related?
Wayne Rigsby: Probably not. Thought I'd check it out.
Teresa Lisbon: All right. Come back as quick as you can.

Grace Van Pelt: So, our victim, Chad Parkman, was a successful Olympic gymnastics coach. He had a facility out in Marin.
Teresa Lisbon: What was he doing at the hotel?
Grace Van Pelt: Sports health conference. He was the keynote speaker.
Teresa Lisbon: Hmm. What about the Visualize angle? Did you find anything there?
Grace Van Pelt: Nothing IDing him as a member. You think Cooper's lying?
Teresa Lisbon: I don't know. If Bret Stiles sends his second-in-command and private security, it's important to Visualize somehow.

Teresa Lisbon: He's at the Ecuadorian consulate. As long as he's there, we can't touch him. What do you want to do?
Patrick Jane: I'll handle Stiles.
Teresa Lisbon: Well, he's not gonna come with you. He doesn't have to.
Patrick Jane: I'll be persuasive.

Teresa Lisbon: The team's looking for Smith, Bertram's on the run. So who's Red John? Is it Bertram or Smith?
Patrick Jane: I need to look them both in the eye.

Kimball Cho: You okay?
Teresa Lisbon: I'm fine. The doctors say Jane's stable. There's no major trauma or anything. He's just not awake.

Kimball Cho: They found the remains of three people. Positive IDs for Bret Stiles, Ray Haffner, and Thomas McAllister.
Teresa Lisbon: Are you sure? I would think Bret Stiles would survive a nuclear attack.
Kimball Cho: The bodies are all burnt to a crisp. But the crime techs did spot DNA tests; coroner's office checked it against medical records. Stiles, Haffner, and McAllister are all positively dead.
Teresa Lisbon: What about Smith? Any sightings?
Kimball Cho: Not yet. Rigsby and Van Pelt are on it.

Dennis Abbott: Lisbon. I'm glad you can join us.
Teresa Lisbon: Traffic.
Dennis Abbott: Hmm. Where's Jane?
Teresa Lisbon: He'll be in to see you as soon as he's able.
Dennis Abbott: This way.


Teresa Lisbon: It's 2:23. This is a waste of time. Your theoretical spy isn't showing up.
Patrick Jane: Have to have patience, Lisbon.
Teresa Lisbon: I'd rather have coffee.

Dennis Abbott: Jane is making a sincere effort to fit in.
Kim Fischer: No, he's not.
Dennis Abbott: Look at what he gave me yesterday.
Kim Fischer: A robot.
Dennis Abbott: No, this is just not a robot. This is *Voltron*, okay? I used to love this when I was a kid.
Kim Fischer: He *ditched* me.
Dennis Abbott: That's not cool.
Kim Fischer: No, that is far, far from cool.
Dennis Abbott: Did Jane have something to say about it afterwards?
Kim Fischer: Who knows! He hasn't responded to my texts or my phone calls ever since. Where do we draw the line? How far do we bend for this man?
Teresa Lisbon: I just got off the phone with Jane. He says he needs a black helicopter, a convoy of vans, and whatever you have that looks most like a tank.


Teresa Lisbon: What do you think we should do?
Patrick Jane: I think we should trust our instincts.
Kimball Cho: You mean take a wild guess.
Patrick Jane: 80% of the time, a detective's first guess is right.
Kimball Cho: You just made that up.
Patrick Jane: And you knew that because your instincts told you.

Teresa Lisbon: I was really angry at you for doing what you did, but then I thought better of it. It was a stupid idea, but, hey, it worked.
Patrick Jane: Whoa. Stupid? Not necessarily stupid. Simple. Not stupid.
Teresa Lisbon: But I am still angry at you for not telling me what you were gonna do. I thought you'd gone nuts.
Patrick Jane: Oh, come on, please. It's not like I haven't abducted people before.

Teresa Lisbon: I don't know what we would have done if we lost you.
Grace Van Pelt: I knew you guys would come.

Teresa Lisbon: And then Haibach shot you a second time?
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah. That one hurt.
Teresa Lisbon: But you got back up, disarmed the sister, and stopped Haibach. Nice work, Wayne.
Grace Van Pelt: He said he was gonna save me, and he did.
Kimball Cho: You do realize you got shot with your own gun.
Wayne Rigsby: Oh, please, Cho, no jokes. It hurts when I laugh.
Kimball Cho: I'm just saying if you tell that story in the future, you might want to leave that part out.
Wayne Rigsby: Seriously, I'm gonna split a stitch.

Teresa Lisbon: You think this is terrorists?
Dennis Abbott: Well, we can't rule it out.
Patrick Jane: Well, I think we can. Someone just wanted the dead guy dead.
Dennis Abbott: And why do you think that?
Patrick Jane: Because he's dead. I mean, look at this place. Bomber could of killed a dozen people if he wanted to. But, nope, this guy just bumped off one. Pretty ineffective terrorism, if you ask me.

Kenyon Russell: I know this all sounds very old-school, but you have to understand - our members are senators, judges, C.E.O.s. They're successful, driven men. They really have very few places that they can completely relax. Here, we have no cellphones, no Twitter, no distractions from the outside world.
Teresa Lisbon: Women are a distraction?


Patrick Jane: What about those two?
Teresa Lisbon: The lady? I don't think so.
Patrick Jane: Not just her. The two of them. They're obviously traveling together. They're not a couple, there's no intimacy there.
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, they've been in a truck for hours. How could there be intimacy?

Teresa Lisbon: I loved that movie. Classic movies are the best.
Agent Marcus Pike: You fell asleep.
Teresa Lisbon: That's how you can tell I liked it.


Teresa Lisbon: Hey, Cho.
Kimball Cho: Hey.
Teresa Lisbon: You got a minute?
Kimball Cho: What's up?
Teresa Lisbon: I got offered a job... in DC.
Kimball Cho: You gonna take it?
Teresa Lisbon: I don't know. Maybe. Don't tell anybody, all right?
Kimball Cho: Okay. It'd be a great move, though.
Teresa Lisbon: You think?
Kimball Cho: Absolutely. You remember the first day we worked together?
Teresa Lisbon: Sure.
Kimball Cho: I almost quit.
Teresa Lisbon: Really? Why?
Kimball Cho: Rigsby
Kimball Cho: And then I saw the way you worked. I knew I had to stay. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you. Whatever decision you make, it's been an honour.

Teresa Lisbon: I'm sorry, that was embarrassing.
Passenger on Plane: Oh, shush, honey. Every woman on this plane is green with envy.


Teresa Lisbon: That was weird. What'd he say?
Patrick Jane: Uh, he asked me if I had a plan for you.
Teresa Lisbon: Plan?
Patrick Jane: Yeah. Um... I don't. I... Well, I... I... I think I know what feels - I... I think we know - what feels right, and I think that that should be our guide.
Teresa Lisbon: So do I.

We weren't together, we knew each other for years and years, we were friends and I couldn't bring myself to admit my feelings for him had changed even to myself


Teresa Lisbon: What's that?
Patrick Jane: Fireworks.
Teresa Lisbon: Fireworks?
Patrick Jane: It's the end of Ramadan. They're celebrating.
Teresa Lisbon: Fireworks. Beautiful.
Patrick Jane: Yeah. It is beautiful. You thought it was a bomb, didn't you?
Teresa Lisbon: No, I didn't.
Patrick Jane: Yes, you did.
Teresa Lisbon: I did not.
Patrick Jane: You did.

Teresa Lisbon: What's that?
Patrick Jane: Fireworks.
Teresa Lisbon: Fireworks?
Patrick Jane: It's the end of Ramadan. They're celebrating.
Teresa Lisbon: Fireworks. Beautiful.
Patrick Jane: Yeah. It is beautiful. You thought it was a bomb, didn't you?
Teresa Lisbon: No, I didn't.
Patrick Jane: Yes, you did.
Teresa Lisbon: I did not.
Patrick Jane: You did.

Patrick Jane: We could learn to sail, buy a boat, sail around the world.
Teresa Lisbon: Right.
Patrick Jane: What? I've always wanted to do that. A lot of people do it. I mean, we could do it.
Teresa Lisbon: There's whales and storms and pirates. Scurvy. I mean, besides, I get seasick.
Patrick Jane: You do?
Teresa Lisbon: Yeah!
Patrick Jane: How badly?
Teresa Lisbon: Pretty bad.
Patrick Jane: Oh. Well, maybe you get over that.
Teresa Lisbon: We are not sailing around the world.
Patrick Jane: All right. Beekeeping? Who doesn't like honey?
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, you just come up with the best ideas. Beekeeping?
Patrick Jane: Well, I think you'd look very cute in one of those little beekeeping suits.
Teresa Lisbon: How is that romantic?

Teresa Lisbon: Abbott said it was the death of a DEA agent. And by the way, keep tomorrow night open.
Patrick Jane: Well, why would it be closed?
Teresa Lisbon: Your birthday?
Patrick Jane: Oh, that. Yes.
Teresa Lisbon: I already told everybody at work no songs, no cake, no gifts.
Patrick Jane: Good. Thank you.
Teresa Lisbon: Except me.
Patrick Jane: Oh, you have a gift for me?
Teresa Lisbon: It's a surprise.
Patrick Jane: A surprise?
Teresa Lisbon: That's right.
Patrick Jane: You think you can keep a secret from me for that long?
Teresa Lisbon: I don't think I can. I know I can.
Patrick Jane: I admire your confidence.

Dennis Abbott: Bill Peterson doesn't have much of a bedside manner, but he's not a traitor.
Kimball Cho: I thought we couldn't rule anyone out.
Patrick Jane: Abbott's right. Peterson's not a suspect.
Dennis Abbott: Good. So, we'll, uh, just dig down into his team. Personal reviews, bank records. Anything that points to a motive. Ego, revenge.
Dennis Abbott: What? You disagree?
Patrick Jane: Well, they're all poorly paid government employees. You're not gonna have to dig too deep to find motive.
Dennis Abbott: You have a better idea?
Patrick Jane: Maybe. But first I need someone to run an errand for me.

Teresa Lisbon: I'm sorry. My family's messy.
Patrick Jane: Oh, no need. Messy people are good people.
Teresa Lisbon: I'm not messy.
Patrick Jane: You're messy on the inside.

Teresa Lisbon: Do you want to dance?
Patrick Jane: Here? In front of everyone?
Teresa Lisbon: Sure.
Patrick Jane: Okay. One dance.
Teresa Lisbon: Two.
Patrick Jane: Everything is a negotiation with you.

Patrick Jane: I'm leaving. You can come with me or you can stay here, but... I have to go.
Teresa Lisbon: Where you going?
Patrick Jane: Some place nice.

Teresa Lisbon: What can I do for you to help you figure things out? Just tell me.
Patrick Jane: Time. I just need some time.
Teresa Lisbon: Okay. Time's good. I can give you time. I just need one thing from you.
Patrick Jane: What's that?
Teresa Lisbon: Don't ignore my phone calls.


Dennis Abbott: You warned me and I didn't listen. And I am sorry. He could have killed Jane, but he took him, so that means he wants something. And there is no one better at exploiting a situation like that than Jane.
Teresa Lisbon: I hope you're right.


Teresa Lisbon: We should have just eloped like you said.
Patrick Jane: What about your family?
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, they wouldn't care. I just talked to them at the hotel. They found the minibar. They're like cavemen arguing over a dead antelope.

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