Wayne Rigsby Quotes

Grace Van Pelt: You ready to be daddy? That's going to be you soon.
Wayne Rigsby: Oh no, I can cry much louder than that.

Grace Van Pelt: Is this all it's going to be? Sneaking around all the time, afraid someone's going to find out.
Wayne Rigsby: No. It's just the bureau rules. Rules are rules, right?
Grace Van Pelt: Maybe I'm sick of the rules.

Kimball Cho: I don't want to talk about your feelings.
Wayne Rigsby: Good, neither do I.

Wayne Rigsby: Oh yeah, a little carne asada, after we check out the warehouse. Muy bien.
Kimball Cho: No.
Wayne Rigsby: Why not?
Kimball Cho: I don't wanna cross hobo alley to order lunch from a truck that's near the sewage ditch under the freeway.
Wayne Rigsby: But there's tacos.

Kimball Cho: Someone was looking for somethin'.
Wayne Rigsby: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Kimball Cho: Three hours of brooding silence, and then sarcasm. It's like we're married.
Wayne Rigsby: Sorry, Cho. It's just Special Agent Craig O'Laughlin and his chopper. What does she see in that guy, anyway?
Kimball Cho: Ivy League degree in criminology, six years in the 101st Airborne, and a black belt in wushu from a REAL Shaolin temple.
Wayne Rigsby: Thanks, buddy.

Wayne Rigsby: So listen, delicate question.
Kimball Cho: Yes.
Wayne Rigsby: Thursday quiz nights: strictly no bosses as you know. Should we give your spot to Lisbon? Feels kind of weird.
Kimball Cho: Do what you feel is right.
Wayne Rigsby: Or should we just hang on to your spot - in case you screw up.
Wayne Rigsby: It's just a joke.
Kimball Cho: Yeah, funny.
Wayne Rigsby: You're gonna make a Hell of a boss, man. I'm already scared of you.

Wayne Rigsby: What do you think of these dating services anyway?
Kimball Cho: No then yes.
Wayne Rigsby: What?
Kimball Cho: No, I've never used one. And yes, you should.
Wayne Rigsby: What? Because you're cool and I'm not?
Kimball Cho: Anything to stop you from dating your co-workers.

Wayne Rigsby: So would you ever, uh... you know?
Kimball Cho: Pay for sex? No.
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah. It's weird right?
Kimball Cho: Weird, no. Expensive.

Adrian Mosca: Uh sure. CBI? No problem. Uh look, I'm in my skivies. So uh, give me a second to get presentable okay?
Kimball Cho: Think he's going to put his pants on before he hits the window?
Wayne Rigsby: No, I do not.

You know that game kids play: "My dad can beat up your dad?" No one ever played that with me.

Wayne Rigsby: Like I said it's complicated.
Kimball Cho: No it isn't. Which do you want more: job or Van Pelt?
Wayne Rigsby: What? It's - it's not that easy.
Kimball Cho: Sure it is.

Wayne Rigsby: Anything to be looking out for in particular?
Teresa Lisbon: Oh, uh, one of them released a lethal super virus that could kill half the state of California. So I guess we're looking for someone with a prior background as an evil supervillain.
Kimball Cho: Ok.
Teresa Lisbon: ...That last part was a joke.
Kimball Cho: Yeah. We get it.

Wayne Rigsby: How you doing? You good?
Grace Van Pelt: Yeah, I'm fine.
Kimball Cho: Two days ago, you shot and killed your fiancée. You can't be fine.

Kimball Cho: You're not getting enough sex with Van Pelt.
Wayne Rigsby: Hey. Shh. We don't talk about that.

No blindfold. It's not good. Means they don't care if she sees anything.

Kimball Cho: Bosco's team calls us "Bert and Ernie."
Wayne Rigsby: You knew that, and you didn't say anything?
Kimball Cho: I knew it'd bother you.
Wayne Rigsby: Doesn't bother you?
Kimball Cho: No. Ernie's the clever, handsome one.

Wayne Rigsby: If I had a date, I'd tell you about it.
Kimball Cho: Yeah.
Wayne Rigsby: I would. Tell you anything you'd want to know.
Kimball Cho: You ever gonna man up and make a move on Van Pelt?
Wayne Rigsby: Fine! Don't tell me.

Hope: Are you guys cops?
Wayne Rigsby: CBI.
Hope: What's CBI?
Wayne Rigsby: California Bureau of Investigation.
Patrick Jane: Cops.

Wayne Rigsby: Not bad. Your delivery was a bit wooden.
Kimball Cho: Wooden? Me? Yeah, and you're Marlon Brando.

Teresa Lisbon: God, I miss Hightower. Aside from the murder stuff obviously. Screw it. Even with the murder stuff. How does he just appear out of nowhere like that?
Patrick Jane: He's a ghost - from the fifth dimension. Right, Rigsby?
Wayne Rigsby: He's the boss. Not going there.

Grace Van Pelt: Hey, are you gonna be home for dinner?
Wayne Rigsby: Uh, yeah. Sure.
Grace Van Pelt: Wait. Are you at that dirty taco truck?
Grace Van Pelt: I can literally hear you trying to think up an excuse.

Grace Van Pelt: I thought you heard my news already. And I really wanted to tell you myself.
Grace Van Pelt: Craig asked me to marry him and I said yes.
Wayne Rigsby: That's... wonderful, Grace.
Wayne Rigsby: That's terrific news. He's a great guy.

Jason Cooper: I think I've made myself clear, agents. I have no knowledge of Bret Stiles' whereabouts.
Wayne Rigsby: Yes, Mr. Cooper, and we've made clear that we're not buying it.
Kimball Cho: Stiles leaves you in charge of Visualize, but he keeps you in the dark about where's hiding? Doesn't make sense.
Jason Cooper: Stiles has, and always will, put the church's needs before his own. This time is no different. He doesn't want me to know because he wants to protect me.
Kimball Cho: And because he doesn't want to be found.
Jason Cooper: I doubt Bret Stiles is worried about being found.
Kimball Cho: You seem confident.
Jason Cooper: Call it faith. You see, Stiles' time in our reality is limited. As we speak, he's preparing his mind and body for a departure from the confines of our material world.
Wayne Rigsby: He's dying?
Jason Cooper: That is a very naive, very ignorant way of looking at it. Bret Stiles is not dying. Bret Stiles cannot die. He is elevating himself to another plane. One lesser men like ourselves can only strive to reach. And one some of us obviously can't comprehend.

Wayne Rigsby: Hey, boss. Just got a call on the radio. Another homicide nearby. Attempted carjacking, looks like.
Teresa Lisbon: Related?
Wayne Rigsby: Probably not. Thought I'd check it out.
Teresa Lisbon: All right. Come back as quick as you can.

Grace Van Pelt: And for the record, I'm not angry about the baby.
Wayne Rigsby: Oh, really? 'Cause I never thought you were angry, but you sound kind of angry now.
Grace Van Pelt: No, I just thought it was weird that you would have a baby with someone you barely knew.
Wayne Rigsby: Well, why don't you tell me what you really think?
Grace Van Pelt: But...
Wayne Rigsby: But what? What else is there?
Grace Van Pelt: But I love that you're a dad.
Wayne Rigsby: You do?
Grace Van Pelt: When we got together, we were kids. I was a young, naive girl. I wasn't ready to commit to you. It wasn't about the job. At least that wasn't all of it. But things have changed since then. We're not the same. And that's okay. I like who I am now. I like who you are. You're a man.

Okay, so yesterday you were bumming change. Here you are today with a thousand dollar handgun - nicely maintained. You can understand our puzzlement.

Buddy Hennings: Before we go, is there anything you two would like to say to each other?
Grace Van Pelt: No... Yes. Just... I'm sorry. For a lot of things. I care about you and I never meant to hurt you.
Buddy Hennings: All right, your turn. Anything?
Wayne Rigsby: You know how I feel about you. It's the same way I've always felt. It's never changed. Since the first day I met you.

Teresa Lisbon: I know about your dad. I'm your boss. Steven Robert Rigsby - convicted of manslaughter, assault, drug dealing. Your father was on the list, wasn't he?
Wayne Rigsby: I checked out his alibi. No special treatment. If you want to send someone else...
Teresa Lisbon: I trust you, Rigsby. However, if you *ever* come into contact with your father on a case, next time you bring somebody with you.
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, okay.

Wayne Rigsby: What did Jane want?
Kimball Cho: He wants us back at the museum.
Wayne Rigsby: What are we gonna do?
Kimball Cho: Museum heist.
Wayne Rigsby: Why?

Wayne Rigsby: Boss is it okay if I sit down?
Teresa Lisbon: You are sitting down Rigsby.

Grace Van Pelt: Pretty good trick.
Wayne Rigsby: Yep. Always worked on my dad.

Teresa Lisbon: Did he say "crazy idea"?
Kimball Cho: He said "trust me".
Wayne Rigsby: Always a bad sign.

Wayne Rigsby: So Minelli really hired this Jane guy?
Teresa Lisbon: Well, he exposed a corrupt cop, dethroned a judge. Those are all major points for us. As far as Minelli's concerned, he's a hero.

J.J. LaRoche: If I don't like what you have to say, you could walk out of this room charged with murder. Do you understand that?
Wayne Rigsby: Yes.

Grace Van Pelt: Preliminary forensics report. There were no useable prints on the teapot or bowl. Well, except for Jane's prints.
Wayne Rigsby: Smudging finger prints. Drinking evidence. He's like a drunk uncle.

Patrick Jane: Come on. When have I steered you wrong?
Wayne Rigsby: Recently?

Teresa Lisbon: Hey Jane. We got Walton. The kid's nowhere to be seen.
Patrick Jane: Tell Rigsby to look in his left front pocket. There should be a note.
Teresa Lisbon: Rigs, is there a note in your left front pocket?
Wayne Rigsby: "The balloon man didn't take Connor."... Okay, so how did he do that?

Wayne Rigsby: Hey, you okay?
Grace Van Pelt: Yeah. I feel pretty good actually. I'm starting to enjoy shooting people.
Grace Van Pelt: Gotcha.

Wayne Rigsby: Miss Kasser, we need to speak to your son. Where is he?
Jori Kasser: That's the thing. I haven't heard from Steven since I talked to the chief.
Officer Price: Steve's missing? Why didn't you say anything?
Jori Kasser: I was hoping it was a coincidence. Sometimes he disappears.
Wayne Rigsby: Do you think your son had something to do with the murder of Chief Green?
Jori Kasser: No, not if he was sober.

Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, that sounds great. I can make it there by 7:00.
Wayne Rigsby: Listen, I have to go. I'll speak to you later. Okay, bye.
Grace Van Pelt: If you're seeing "Traffic on the 50" tonight, you think she could set her alarm a little earlier?

Patrick Jane: What's the best way in with a luscious redhead?
Wayne Rigsby: Van Pelt?
Patrick Jane: Well, clearly you two had a thing and she dumped you, but maybe you can share a tip on how to open the cookie jar. You know, get some, uh, tasty ginger snaps?
Wayne Rigsby: Huh. You want a tip? Back off.
Patrick Jane: I thought we were a team.

Kimball Cho: Do you have his client list?
Wayne Rigsby: Ya. You should see this thing: leaders of industry, royalty, Hollywood stars
Kimball Cho: We need to run them down
Wayne Rigsby: I'm all over it. Already have a call in to Clooney

Sarah Harrigan: You okay?
Wayne Rigsby: Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Uh... no. That video was... oh, god, it was horrible. I had no idea childbirth could be so... well, so scary.
Sarah Harrigan: Well, it wasn't that bad.
Wayne Rigsby: Sarah, I'm a homicide detective. I've seen some pretty graphic things, but that... uh... nothing prepared me for that.
Sarah Harrigan: How do you think I feel? I have to go through it.

Wayne Rigsby: $20 million, that's a pretty good motive. $20 million - I'd kill you.
Grace Van Pelt: Oh, really?
Wayne Rigsby: No. I mean, um, kidding. It's a joke.

Wayne Rigsby: So, what were you planning to do if Lisbon hadn't stopped him?
Patrick Jane: Oh, I didn't bother to formulate. I - I knew she'd stop him.

Wayne Rigsby: I look around, I don't see anyone here who could torture a man to death with pliers and a lit cigar.
Patrick Jane: Picture them naked and ravenously hungry.

Patrick Jane: Why so glum? Case is a case.
Wayne Rigsby: We're in the middle of nowhere. Windy as hell. I haven't eaten anything. Dismemberments are a bitch! You spend months assembling the victim. There's always a piece missing!

Teresa Lisbon: Play nice, Van Pelt's entitled to her opinion.
Patrick Jane: Not if it's wrong. This is like believing in the Easter Bunny.
Wayne Rigsby: Who said there's no Easter Bunny?

Wayne Rigsby: Oh the "mummy" I get it. Bandages.
Teresa Lisbon: Hey. No more pain killers for him.

Coach Dieter: You made that sound like I'm a sex molester or something. I smacked a couple kids because they needed an attitude adjustment. Their panty-waist parents made an issue of it.
Wayne Rigsby: That's okay then?
Coach Dieter: That's football.

Wayne Rigsby: It's just a silly alternative lifestyle: like Star Trek or yoga.
Grace Van Pelt: I do yoga.

Patrick Jane: Didn't Rick Tiegler's black-out strike you as weird?
Wayne Rigsby: Why? He got drunk, he blacked out, he killed someone. Who hasn't been there?
Wayne Rigsby: ... Kidding.

Wayne Rigsby: Can I ask you something? Would you - have you ever read your coworker's personnel files
Grace Van Pelt: Uh. No. Why?
Wayne Rigsby: No. Good. Neither did I.

Wayne Rigsby: This is exactly the kind of stuff that Boss was talking about. She didn't okay this at all, did she?
Patrick Jane: So shoot me.

Wayne Rigsby: Jimmy locks on the doorknob.
Kimball Cho: I doubt that was part of the original decor.

Wayne Rigsby: Grace, I love you. I've loved you from the first moment I met you. Screw the rules. Screw CBI. I need you.
Grace Van Pelt: I... uh- that's... um
Wayne Rigsby: Unless you stop me, I'm going to kiss you now.

Wayne Rigsby: Local P. D. Stomped all over the scene. Don't think forensics will be any use.
Teresa Lisbon: It's like they don't even watch TV. Every toddler knows this stuff.

Wayne Rigsby: I feel like Jane knows about us.
Grace Van Pelt: No, he doesn't. How would he know?
Wayne Rigsby: I know we've been cool. It's just... it feels like he knows.
Grace Van Pelt: You're being paranoid.
Wayne Rigsby: Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean Jane doesn't know.

Grace Van Pelt: Wayne?
Wayne Rigsby: What?
Grace Van Pelt: One thing...
Wayne Rigsby: What was that for?
Grace Van Pelt: Next time, wear your vest.
Wayne Rigsby: Okay.
Grace Van Pelt: I mean it!
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, I believe you.

Wayne Rigsby: Well, maybe we'll get lucky. Catch a dunk. We're due an easy one.
Teresa Lisbon: Ugh, you shouldn't have said that.
Wayne Rigsby: Said what?
Teresa Lisbon: "We're due an easy one." Now we're jinxed.
Wayne Rigsby: Sorry.

Wayne Rigsby: You want me to memorize everything we have on all sixty-seven alumni that showed up to the reunion?
Patrick Jane: Yes, I do.
Wayne Rigsby: And how would I do that?
Patrick Jane: It's easy. You build a memory palace.

Wayne Rigsby: So, uh, guys. I have something to say.
Grace Van Pelt: We have something to say.
Wayne Rigsby: Uh, life's too short for dishonest. Van P... Grace and I are... lovers.

Wayne Rigsby: I-I-I meant stupid if we got married today.
Grace Van Pelt: But what about tomorrow? I mean long term, where are we going?
Wayne Rigsby: Uh, do we have to discuss this right now?
Grace Van Pelt: Yeah! We probably should have done it before we announced our relationship and I endangered my job!
Wayne Rigsby: My job's on the line too!
Grace Van Pelt: That's not what you said before!

Wayne Rigsby: Why are we here? We don't know if it's a murder.
Teresa Lisbon: One of the chefs called her daddy who's a state senator, who called the AG, who called the assistant AG, who called me. So we're here. I hate politics.

You think being a cop is stressful? Trying being a cop in prison.

Wayne Rigsby: Any reports of crime on the trails? Robberies, assaults?
Ranger Tisdale: No, just raccoons, birds, deer. Rattlesnakes, bear.
Wayne Rigsby: I don't think a bear shot four people with a high-powered rifle.

Teresa Lisbon: Anybody see anything?
Wayne Rigsby: Well, we've got an SFPD cam, but so far nothing. Just an average night.
Patrick Jane: Average night, average neighborhood, average murder. Why are we here?

Adrian Mosca: Uh sure. CBI? No problem. Uh look, I'm in my skivies. So uh, give me a second to get presentable okay?
Kimball Cho: Think he's going to put his pants on before he hits the window?
Wayne Rigsby: No, I do not.

Wayne Rigsby: 12 cents, seriously?
Grace Van Pelt: What? She cleaned me out.
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, of 12 cents.

Patrick Jane: Closed case donuts are here.
Patrick Jane: I just went to get sleeping pills, I swear to god. I... I didn't even want to go. You know I didn't want to go.
Grace Van Pelt: Right.
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, you didn't set Wagner up. Didn't figure it was him days ago.
Kimball Cho: You didn't let us tear apart the victim's family simply to satisfy your childish need for drama.
Patrick Jane: Yeah, that family was screwed, anyway. Don't blame yourselves, guys.

Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, that sounds great. I can make it there by 7:00.
Wayne Rigsby: Listen, I have to go. I'll speak to you later. Okay, bye.
Grace Van Pelt: If you're seeing "Traffic on the 50" tonight, you think she could set her alarm a little earlier?

Wayne Rigsby: That's my card!
Wayne Rigsby: How did you do that?
Patrick Jane: Huh? What?
Medical Examiner: Card tricks? A man has lost his life. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Wayne Rigsby: O'Laughlin.
Craig O'Laughlin: Yeah?
Wayne Rigsby: Don't hurt her.
Craig O'Laughlin: Or what?
Wayne Rigsby: Or you'll have to deal with me.

Dr. Montague: I don't need to conduct an analysis to see that you're still in love with someone else. The probability of us having a successful relationship is no more than 20%.
Wayne Rigsby: 20%?
Dr. Montague: Tops.