Grace Van Pelt Quotes

Patrick Jane: It's nice to be nice. But if you want to get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.
Grace Van Pelt: Gee, thanks.
Patrick Jane: It's all about the balance, Grace. Yin, Yang. Nice, bitch. Little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch.
Grace Van Pelt: Yeah, I'll work on that.
Patrick Jane: Keep 'em guessin'.

Grace Van Pelt: But he was your friend.
Kimball Cho: He was a gangbanger, Van Pelt. Bangers get shot. All right? He's not the first person I used to know to get shot, he won't be the last.

Grace Van Pelt: You ready to be daddy? That's going to be you soon.
Wayne Rigsby: Oh no, I can cry much louder than that.

Grace Van Pelt: You know kids used to call me Bracie Gracie because I wore braces until I was 17. What did people call you?
Kimball Cho: Cho.

Listen about the other thing. It's... I, uh... maybe it's not the right time.

Patrick Jane: I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from.
Grace Van Pelt: That's horrible!

Grace Van Pelt: Is this all it's going to be? Sneaking around all the time, afraid someone's going to find out.
Wayne Rigsby: No. It's just the bureau rules. Rules are rules, right?
Grace Van Pelt: Maybe I'm sick of the rules.

Grace Van Pelt: I'm not saying volunteering is better work but it makes me feel better. I see people smiling because of what I've done. There's something, I don't know, joyous in it. How often do we see people smile in this job?
Kimball Cho: Leaving out crazy, never.

Grace Van Pelt: What are you guys looking for?
Wayne Rigsby: A diamond.
Kimball Cho: What'd he do?
Wayne Rigsby: Hit it with a fire extinguisher.
Kimball Cho: Of course.

Psychiatrist: Grace, somebody you trusted and loved betrayed you. Betrayed you so badly you had to take his life. That needs to be talked about.
Grace Van Pelt: It could've been worse. I could've married him.

Doc Dugan: Your own funeral, that's when you hear the truth, what people really think of you. Woman worships me. Would you like to find out why?
Grace Van Pelt: No, thanks.
Doc Dugan: You sure?
Grace Van Pelt: Tempting, really, but... I shot and killed my last boyfriend. I'm not ready for a relationship yet.
Doc Dugan: Okay. Rain check.

Teresa Lisbon: Listen up here, Willie. Some of the stuff you're carrying you came off a dead man.
Willie Shubert: That's not good.
Grace Van Pelt: Neither is the dried blood on your shirt. How'd that get there?
Willie Shubert: Let's see uh... I got the blood on me when I was stabbing that fella in the alley.

Wayne Rigsby: Hey, you okay?
Grace Van Pelt: Yeah. I feel pretty good actually. I'm starting to enjoy shooting people.
Grace Van Pelt: Gotcha.

Grace Van Pelt: Seriously, I haven't had hot water in three days. My landlord's being total jerk and won't fix it.
Kimball Cho: You should buy.
Grace Van Pelt: So I can deal with a bank instead of a landlord? Big step up.

Grace Van Pelt: Thousands of people say it's happened to them. They can't all be crazy or lying.
Patrick Jane: Mm hmm.
Grace Van Pelt: I'm just saying you should keep an open mind. You can't prove there aren't aliens.
Patrick Jane: That's true.

Grace Van Pelt: I thought you heard my news already. And I really wanted to tell you myself.
Grace Van Pelt: Craig asked me to marry him and I said yes.
Wayne Rigsby: That's... wonderful, Grace.
Wayne Rigsby: That's terrific news. He's a great guy.

Patrick Jane: Chance has thrust away a very sordid and vexing problem. But have no fear.
Grace Van Pelt: We don't.
Teresa Lisbon: I do. What's your plan?

Teresa Lisbon: Hi. We have delivery from L Courtier. You want to open the door?
Patrick Jane: She's lying!
Grace Van Pelt: Abby Fitzwilliams, you're under arrest!
Daniella: I'm not Abby.
Teresa Lisbon: Put your hands in the air now!
Patrick Jane: Lisbon, Grace, where's your manners? This is Danniella - Abby's best friend. Come in have a seat.

Teresa Lisbon: Hi. We have delivery from L Courtier. You want to open the door?
Patrick Jane: She's lying!
Grace Van Pelt: [Lisbon and Van Pelt burst in. Van Pelts puts cuffs on Daniella] Abby Fitzwilliams, you're under arrest!
Daniella: I'm not Abby.
Teresa Lisbon: Put your hands in the air now!
Patrick Jane: Lisbon, Grace, where's your manners? This is Danniella - Abby's best friend. Come in have a seat.

Grace Van Pelt: Did you love me?
Craig O'Laughlin: Of course I loved you.
Grace Van Pelt: Then why did you try to kill me?
Craig O'Laughlin: Look, I had to make a choice between you and Red John. We all have to make hard choices, Grace. Doesn't make me evil.
Grace Van Pelt: It kinda does.
Craig O'Laughlin: Grace.
Grace Van Pelt: I was just too stupid to see it.
Craig O'Laughlin: Oh, no, you saw it.
Grace Van Pelt: No, I didn't.
Craig O'Laughlin: Not all of it. But you knew there was something. Something a little dangerous under the nice guy stuff. You kind of liked it. You can't open your eyes a little bit, Grace. You got to open them all the way if you want to see the truth of things.
Grace Van Pelt: What are you talking about? Why are you doing this to me?
Craig O'Laughlin: How should I know? I'm just a figment of your imagination.

Teresa Lisbon: And then Haibach shot you a second time?
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah. That one hurt.
Teresa Lisbon: But you got back up, disarmed the sister, and stopped Haibach. Nice work, Wayne.
Grace Van Pelt: He said he was gonna save me, and he did.
Kimball Cho: You do realize you got shot with your own gun.
Wayne Rigsby: Oh, please, Cho, no jokes. It hurts when I laugh.
Kimball Cho: I'm just saying if you tell that story in the future, you might want to leave that part out.
Wayne Rigsby: Seriously, I'm gonna split a stitch.

Ms. Austin: I know what I did to Mr. McTierney is unforgivable, and I wish to God I could undo it, but you have to understand. What Billy and I have is special. It's real. I'm not some pervert. I love him, and he loves me. Is that wrong?
Grace Van Pelt: Yes.

Grace Van Pelt: How did you know Archie was gay?
Patrick Jane: Well, Archie Sr. named his son after himself like a king. He was hoping for an heir, yet there's not one photo of Junior in the house.
Grace Van Pelt: You think he's ashamed of him.
Patrick Jane: Well, look at this room. Traditional masculine decor. Bold nautical themes.
Grace Van Pelt: It's like a furniture catalog threw up in here.
Patrick Jane: Yes. These are not the choices of a teenager. I think Archie Sr. personally decorated this room in the attempt to butch up his gay son.

Grace Van Pelt: There's something on your...
Wayne Rigsby: It's just vomit.

Grace Van Pelt: Preliminary forensics report. There were no useable prints on the teapot or bowl. Well, except for Jane's prints.
Wayne Rigsby: Smudging finger prints. Drinking evidence. He's like a drunk uncle.

Buddy Hennings: Before we go, is there anything you two would like to say to each other?
Grace Van Pelt: No... Yes. Just... I'm sorry. For a lot of things. I care about you and I never meant to hurt you.
Buddy Hennings: All right, your turn. Anything?
Wayne Rigsby: You know how I feel about you. It's the same way I've always felt. It's never changed. Since the first day I met you.

Grace Van Pelt: And for the record, I'm not angry about the baby.
Wayne Rigsby: Oh, really? 'Cause I never thought you were angry, but you sound kind of angry now.
Grace Van Pelt: No, I just thought it was weird that you would have a baby with someone you barely knew.
Wayne Rigsby: Well, why don't you tell me what you really think?
Grace Van Pelt: But...
Wayne Rigsby: But what? What else is there?
Grace Van Pelt: But I love that you're a dad.
Wayne Rigsby: You do?
Grace Van Pelt: When we got together, we were kids. I was a young, naive girl. I wasn't ready to commit to you. It wasn't about the job. At least that wasn't all of it. But things have changed since then. We're not the same. And that's okay. I like who I am now. I like who you are. You're a man.

Grace Van Pelt: How's boss?
Patrick Jane: Alive and cranky.

Grace Van Pelt: So, our victim, Chad Parkman, was a successful Olympic gymnastics coach. He had a facility out in Marin.
Teresa Lisbon: What was he doing at the hotel?
Grace Van Pelt: Sports health conference. He was the keynote speaker.
Teresa Lisbon: Hmm. What about the Visualize angle? Did you find anything there?
Grace Van Pelt: Nothing IDing him as a member. You think Cooper's lying?
Teresa Lisbon: I don't know. If Bret Stiles sends his second-in-command and private security, it's important to Visualize somehow.

Grace Van Pelt: Hey, are you gonna be home for dinner?
Wayne Rigsby: Uh, yeah. Sure.
Grace Van Pelt: Wait. Are you at that dirty taco truck?
Grace Van Pelt: I can literally hear you trying to think up an excuse.

Teresa Lisbon: I don't know what we would have done if we lost you.
Grace Van Pelt: I knew you guys would come.

Grace Van Pelt: "Greetings, old friend. It's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have twelve wives now and will soon begin courting number thirteen. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh, well. All the best. Red John."
Kimball Cho: That sounds like the real deal to me.
Patrick Jane: Sounds like Red John. It's not. Red John wouldn't risk capture just to taunt me.

Wayne Rigsby: Grace, I love you. I've loved you from the first moment I met you. Screw the rules. Screw CBI. I need you.
Grace Van Pelt: I... uh- that's... um
Wayne Rigsby: Unless you stop me, I'm going to kiss you now.

Grace Van Pelt: I don't get it. She actually enjoyed helping him kill. One crazy, evil person I understand, but two? Husband and wife? Marriage is supposed to be a sacred, loving thing.
Patrick Jane: Yeah, they were soul-mates in their own strange way.

Grace Van Pelt: Adrianna, we can charge you right now with burglary, vandalism, assault with a deadly weapon. That's 10 to 15 right there. Wouldn't you rather talk to us about your situation?
Adrianna Jonovic: From you, I buy cookies. I don't talk about situation.

Patrick Jane: I got us a table booked at the best restaurant in town. Apparently they tell you the name of the cow your steak came from.
Grace Van Pelt: That's horrible!

Patrick Jane: It's nice to be nice. But if you want to get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.
Grace Van Pelt: Gee, thanks.
Patrick Jane: It's all about the balance, Grace. Yin, Yang. Nice, bitch. Little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch.
Grace Van Pelt: Yeah, I'll work on that.
Patrick Jane: Keep 'em guessin'.

It's not that I don't like you. I do. It's just - we work together. And there are rules. And if... we were to get together, one of us would have to leave the unit, and I'm junior agent. So that would be me. And this job is so important to me and...

Wayne Rigsby: It's just a silly alternative lifestyle: like Star Trek or yoga.
Grace Van Pelt: I do yoga.

Rob Wallace: [thinks Jane and Grace are engaged] Ok I'm just going to say it. Are you sure about marrying this guy? I mean, he kind of appears to be a jerk. I mean - no offense.
Grace Van Pelt: Oh no. Yes. I'm not marrying him. That's no. Don't worry about that. Not gonna happen.

Grace Van Pelt: Boss?
Teresa Lisbon: Hmm?
Grace Van Pelt: I've been here nearly six months now. Almost half a year.
Teresa Lisbon: What do you want? Half a cake?

Grace Van Pelt: And no offense, but why does my personal life have any concern to you... Or Rigsby, for that matter?
Patrick Jane: Who me? I'm just nosy. But Rigsby, he loves you... He's just scared of emotional committment. And you're attracted to him, but you're deeply repressed and emotionally shutdown.

Wayne Rigsby: Can I ask you something? Would you - have you ever read your coworker's personnel files
Grace Van Pelt: Uh. No. Why?
Wayne Rigsby: No. Good. Neither did I.

Grace Van Pelt: No drug paraphernalia, no condoms or other items suggesting prostitution. So maybe a personal crime. A husband or lover.
Patrick Jane: Bravo, Grace. Wrong, I expect, but very well reasoned nonetheless.

Grace Van Pelt: How 'bout you give us a statement, maybe help yourself?
Milton Howard: How 'bout you kiss me? You're pretty.
Grace Van Pelt: So are you. Compared to most state prison inmates.

Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, that sounds great. I can make it there by 7:00.
Wayne Rigsby: Listen, I have to go. I'll speak to you later. Okay, bye.
Grace Van Pelt: If you're seeing "Traffic on the 50" tonight, you think she could set her alarm a little earlier?

Wayne Rigsby: I feel like Jane knows about us.
Grace Van Pelt: No, he doesn't. How would he know?
Wayne Rigsby: I know we've been cool. It's just... it feels like he knows.
Grace Van Pelt: You're being paranoid.
Wayne Rigsby: Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean Jane doesn't know.

Grace Van Pelt: Wayne?
Wayne Rigsby: What?
Grace Van Pelt: One thing...
Wayne Rigsby: What was that for?
Grace Van Pelt: Next time, wear your vest.
Wayne Rigsby: Okay.
Grace Van Pelt: I mean it!
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, I believe you.

Wayne Rigsby: $20 million, that's a pretty good motive. $20 million - I'd kill you.
Grace Van Pelt: Oh, really?
Wayne Rigsby: No. I mean, um, kidding. It's a joke.

Grace Van Pelt: My sister, she was just like you.
Leslie: Look, I don't - I don't want to hear this.
Grace Van Pelt: She wanted it to be over - for *her*. It was always about her. She could've talked to me.
Leslie: About what?
Grace Van Pelt: About anything. I'm her sister. But she didn't. Not to anybody. She just ended it for her.

Grace Van Pelt: A little old to be necking, aren't they?
Patrick Jane: There's an age limit on that?

Wayne Rigsby: So, uh, guys. I have something to say.
Grace Van Pelt: We have something to say.
Wayne Rigsby: Uh, life's too short for dishonest. Van P... Grace and I are... lovers.

Grace Van Pelt: I've learned about myself as well as about other people. Stuff I wish I didn't know sometimes.
Mike Brewster: Stuff like?
Grace Van Pelt: Why people do bad things do to one another. It's mainly because of secrets. Trying to hide the truth chips away at your spirit. Secrets... ruin relationships.

Wayne Rigsby: I-I-I meant stupid if we got married today.
Grace Van Pelt: But what about tomorrow? I mean long term, where are we going?
Wayne Rigsby: Uh, do we have to discuss this right now?
Grace Van Pelt: Yeah! We probably should have done it before we announced our relationship and I endangered my job!
Wayne Rigsby: My job's on the line too!
Grace Van Pelt: That's not what you said before!

Wayne Rigsby: There's nobody here. We can lock the door. Nobody's looking.
Wayne Rigsby: Come on.
Grace Van Pelt: We're on duty.
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah. I know. Totally wrong.
Wayne Rigsby: Come on.

Madeleine Hightower: [to Rigsby, Van Pelt & Lisbon] You work together, you develop feelings. Nothing wrong with that. But you know very well it's against CBI rules, and like I tell my kids: rules are rules. If you want to stay together that's your choice, but one of you has to transfer out of the unit. If you both want to stay in the unit, then you can't be together. That's what it is. Give me your decision by tomorrow at the latest... Questions?
Grace Van Pelt: No ma'am.

Wayne Rigsby: 12 cents, seriously?
Grace Van Pelt: What? She cleaned me out.
Wayne Rigsby: Yeah, of 12 cents.