Dr. Chris Taub Quotes
Latest Dr. Chris Taub quotes from House M.D.
Dr. Chris Taub
Dr. Chris Taub is played by Peter Jacobson in House M.D..
Dr. Eric Foreman: A Scare test is insane.
Dr. Taub: Scare test is legitimate. Simulates real world conditions. This fling with Cuddy is insane. Flare gun? Scary enough?
Dr. Eric Foreman: How about just telling her we're planning this stupid test? And I'm hoping House and Cuddy are more than just a fling. It's clearly mellowed him out. He didn't even care about Thirteen.
Dr. Taub: Right, the guy who ordered us to stop the patient's heart has mellowed out. It's gonna be horrible because it's doomed. Which is just gonna make House 50 times more of a crank. Firecrackers! We can hide 'em under one of those covered food trays.
Dr. Chris Taub: We're dead on our feet. I've barely slept in four days.
Dr. Gregory House: Oh that's sad. You know what's even sadder? Thirteen was the only man on my team.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Yeah, it'd be nice if you'd hurry up and hire someone to fill her spot.
Dr. Gregory House: Do it. Cuddy wants it to be a girl.
Dr. Eric Foreman: There are a couple of people...
Dr. Gregory House: I was talking to Chase. I was just looking at you to screw with you.
Dr. Chris Taub: I think we should boycott this wedding on principle.
Dr. Eric Foreman: I kind of have to go. His fiancee did give me a foot massage. And he invited me to be in his wedding party.
Dr. Chris Taub: W-What about Chase? Did he ask him?
Dr. Eric Foreman: Yep. He's in it.
Dr. Chris Taub: What the Hell?
Dr. Eric Foreman: You said you weren't even going.
Dr. Chris Taub: I still have feelings.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Actually, I'm impressed. Messing around with a 22 year-old hottie with your wife on my sofa. You're a full throttle headcase.
Dr. Chris Taub: I was doing you a solid with the sofa. Rachel wanted to do it in your bed. You've got the memory phone top.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Let's make it really simple. If I own it, I don't want you doing it on it.
Dr. Chris Taub: You... might want to get rid of your kitchen table... Look I'm sorry, but it was worth it.
Dr. Chris Taub: If she thinks I'm cheating she would ask.
Thirteen: Because you tell the truth.
Dr. Chris Taub: I'm not seeing anyone else.
Thirteen: Doesn't matter. You have a history. And that's not her fault.
Dr. Chris Taub: What am I supposed to do? I can't prove a negative.
Thirteen: That is a problem.
Dr. Eric Foreman: What about Chase? You believe all that nonsense about him being celibat?
Dr. Chris Taub: Don't know. But I'm rooting for him. Read the studies. The fewer partners you have, the happier you are with your ultimate partner.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Then you're going to be miserable.
Dr. Chris Taub: Those studies, it's important that they have control.
Dr. Gregory House: [When House and his team are at Chase's bedside] Lungs, rash, now excessive RR variability. Go.
Dr. Chris Taub: It's a hospital. There are lots of doctors who can take care of him.
Dr. Gregory House: And your thinking is that only you guys are qualified to sit in this room doing nothing? If you're motivated by caring, just bear in mind, he's a dedicated chemistry teacher with a pretty wife and adoring students, baby on the way.
Dr. Jessica Adams: She's not pregnant.
Dr. Gregory House: Would it make a difference? 'Cause I could knock her up. Autonomic dysregulation...
Dr. Jessica Adams: Shut up.
Dr. Chris Taub: Give the band guy a call.
Dr. Chi Park: I'm not that good at guitar.
Dr. Chris Taub: Or flirting, or small talk.
Dr. Chi Park: I'm not as pretty as Adams, I have stuffy clothes and I hate my hair.
Dr. Chris Taub: Adams works eighty hours a week fixing bunions on hobos because she *can't* face getting to know someone new. Trust me, you find a boyfriend, she'll be the jealous one.
Dr. Chris Taub: Funny how the two people in the room who think relationships are easy, are both single.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner: I don't think they're easy. That's why I think if you find something that could be good, you should hang on to it.
Dr. Chris Taub: Everything could be good. Very little ever is.
Dr. Chris Taub: Cancer made no sense. The head and heart make less than no sense.
Lucas Douglas: That makes no sense.
Dr. Chris Taub: I know. I was making a point.
Lucas Douglas: Oh, good. I thought you were an idiot.
Dr. Chris Taub: Why are you talking?
Lucas Douglas: Oh, the guy doing manual labor can't have an opinion? I might be a genius who just happens to have a passion for fixing coffee machines. No, I'm obviously not, but that's rude to make assumptions about people.
Dr. Chris Taub: Blood in the field. Not where I'm looking.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner: How am I supposed to know where you're looking?
Dr. Chris Taub: Here's a hint: it's the bloody part.
Dr. Lawrence Kutner: The whole thing's bloody. It's a guy with a hole in his body.
Dr. Gregory House: Because that would let Cameron in on the fact that I never intended to do it.
Dr. Chris Taub: This is going to be convoluted, isn't it?
Dr. Gregory House: Figured I'd ask her for something really crazy, so she'd shoot me down and get the whole I-can-control-House thing out of her perky little system. So the next time I went back and ask for something marginally crazy, she would see marginally reasonable and she'd say "yes." So yeah, slightly convulted.
Dr. Chris Taub: We're screwed.
Dr. Gregory House: The trauma must have stimulated a pre-existing heart condition.
Dr. Chris Taub: Autoimmune congenital anomaly, blood clotting disorder, lead poisoning...
Thirteen: Could be anything.
Dr. Gregory House: Great! Let's explore that. Quick, get her on panacea.
Dr. Chris Taub: We were screwing with Foreman. Trying to make him think he made less money than we did. Obviously, things got out of control.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Well, someone does something stupid and insensitive, I always figure it was House. Good to know it's catching.
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