Serena van der Woodsen Quotes

Oh, I forgot to put on underwear!

Chuck! Boundaries!

So Tuscany with Chuck, sounds romantic... minus the Chuck part.

I would just check to make sure there's not an ice pick under the bed.

Blair Waldorf: He's totally unsuitable.
Serena van der Woodsen: Who?
Blair Waldorf: Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito!

Blair Waldorf: Remember, Serena doesn't share.
Serena van der Woodsen: Remember, Blair should learn to.

Serena van der Woodsen: He was probably thinking about you the whole time he was gone.
Blair Waldorf: Not unless I was a Thai hooker named Bo.

Serena van der Woodsen: [reads Gossip Girl on Blair's phone] Nothing yet on Lonely Boy though we did find out he brown-bags it for lunch and today's plat du jour, a tuna sandwich. Disgusting but not enough for a conviction. Keep digging, kiddies.
Blair Waldorf: Tuna fish? Why does he make it so hard for himself?

I'm just reading the Brown catalog. Oh, and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit.

Serena van der Woodsen: I have supported you in all your crazy choices, case and point!
Serena van der Woodsen: Now would you please have some faith in me for once? I'm going back to my boyfriend and if you know what's good for you, so will you!

Serena van der Woodsen: I keep trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't. It doesn't make any sense.
Blair Waldorf: Feelings never do. They get you all confused, then they drive you around for hours until they drop you right back to where you started.

Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, I can't believe Blair won!
Dan Humphrey: Yeah, who even voted for her?
Chuck Bass: Me. About 150 times. I wasn't putting the Nelly Yuki ballots in, I was taking them out.

Serena van der Woodsen: Does he even know that you and Nate broke up?
Blair Waldorf: Have you not told him?
Serena van der Woodsen: It's not like we stay up at night, braiding each other's hair and having heart-to-hearts.

Blair Waldorf: Serena can we talk?
Serena van der Woodsen: About what? How you tried to publicly humiliate me?
Blair Waldorf: You know about the dress?
Serena van der Woodsen: Yeah Laurel told me, she said it was an accident, clearly she doesn't know you.
Blair Waldorf: I'm sorry, I was hurt okay. You, you blew off our most beloved tradition.
Serena van der Woodsen: Just get over it Blair.
Blair Waldorf: Excuse me?
Serena van der Woodsen: My whole life I have been bending over backwards to protect your feelings and you know what? It's not my fault you're so insecure.
Blair Waldorf: And I'm sure it's not your fault you're so conceited.
Serena van der Woodsen: I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back so I don't outshine you.
Blair Waldorf: Oh my god, can you hear the words that are coming out of your mouth?
Serena van der Woodsen: It's just the truth. From now on, I'm gonna be who I am and if you can support that and not be threatened and competitive then great, if not...

Serena van der Woodsen: You loved me?
Nate Archibald: Of course, I did. Serena, you're the most beautiful, amazing, alive person I've ever known.

Serena van der Woodsen: Hey. Didn't expect to find you here, staring at babies.
Dan Humphrey: Turns out I'm a big fan of babies.

I even made a list of pros and cons. Dan: Good shoulders to cry on. Nate: Good shoulders.

Serena van der Woodsen , Vanessa Abrams: We need to talk to you.
Chuck Bass: I need to talk to you.
Nate Archibald: Hey, I need to talk to you.
Eric van der Woodsen: Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.

Serena Van Der Woodsen: Stop worrying about your mom. CeCe won't tell a soul you're here, and she promised to call my mom to make sure she doesn't say anything either.
Charlie Rhodes: Well, even if that's true, what about Blair or Dan or everyone else? I don't think they'd be thrilled to find out that the psychotic freak is back in town.
Serena Van Der Woodsen: Please. This place is a mecca for psychotic freaks.

Dan Humphrey: Hey, everyone, thank you so much for coming.
Serena Van Der Woodsen: I only have five minutes.
Blair Waldorf: This better be really important.
Nate Archibald: What is this about?
Lily: Is everything alright?
Charlie Rhodes: This isn't about me, right?
Rufus Settle: Yeah, what's going on, Dan?
Chuck Bass: This is going to be fun.

Dan Humphrey: I told Cassandra that I'm giving you the book rights.
Serena Van Der Woodsen: No, you don't have to do that. I wasn't trying to guilt you into it.
Dan Humphrey: No, I know. I know, but without you inspiring me from the beginning, I wouldn't be able to write anything, so... I owe you one. And despite the events of today, you know... I trust you.

Serena Van Der Woodsen: So, Mr. Screenwriter... Are you ready for your your first ever development meeting?
Dan Humphrey: I think so. As long as you guys don't wanna change the ending. Or the beginning. Or all the stuff in the middle.

I'm pretty sure the only war Chuck is waging is with his own demons.

Dan Humphrey: When you told me about the idea of rewriting the ending of my story, I thought maybe... maybe that's the answer.
Serena Van Der Woodsen: Then what stopped you?
Dan Humphrey: When I saw Blair discover how she felt about Chuck, she was heartbroken. I mean, I've been so consumed about my own feelings I wouldn't let myself see how much she loves Chuck. You were right. She didn't need my confession. She needed my help.
Serena Van Der Woodsen: Wow, that's... that's a really amazing thing to do, Dan.
Dan Humphrey: Well, I mean, I... It wasn't easy, but I do think I can give myself a new ending by making sure that she and Chuck get the ending they deserve. I want her to be happy.

Dan Humphrey: Look, Serena, while we're alone, there's something I wanna say to you...
Serena Van Der Woodsen: Are you fake breaking up with me?

Blair Waldorf: How could you do this to me? Just because I didn't give your geriatric boyfriend a seat doesn't mean you had to tell Sage to sabotage my show.
Serena van der Woodsen: Save it, Blair! You were so upset that I care more about Steven then your show that you had to destroy my relationship.
Blair Waldorf: I didn't tell her to take off her dress in front of all of New York City on that fashion runway. You did.
Serena van der Woodsen: No, I didn't. I would rather avoid the child pornography charges.
Blair Waldorf: Well, if I didn't tell her to take off the dress and you didn't tell her to take off the dress, then who did?
Sage Spence: Nobody. I happened to like the underwear more.

Serena van der Woodsen: Hi, Chuck.
Chuck Bass: Please, call me brother.

Serena van der Woodsen: I can't believe you told her.
Nate Archibald: You just expected me to keep it a secret?
Serena van der Woodsen: Yes, Nate! There's nothing wrong with keeping a secret if the truth is gonna hurt someone.
Nate Archibald: That's a hell of a way to look at things.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize all of a sudden you're the most honest guy on the planet.

Serena van der Woodsen: Why didn't you send it? I would've...
Blair Waldorf: You would've what? You knew, Serena, and you didn't even call.
Serena van der Woodsen: I didn't know what to say to you or even how to be your friend after what I did. I'm so sorry.

Serena van der Woodsen: I'm so, so sorry about that.
Dan Humphrey: And I'm so, so ready to hang up.

Something's vibrating in your pocket, and I really hope it's your phone.

Our parents did way worse stuff than we do.

Dan Humphrey: I'm saving you.
Serena van der Woodsen: [upset] I don't need to be saved.
Dan Humphrey: Really? 'Cause I could see your eyes rolling to the back of your head from across the room.

Is it possible for a guy to want to slow things down?

Serena van der Woodsen: Wait, you slept with him?
Blair Waldorf: Shh!
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair!
Blair Waldorf: What happened to no judging?
Serena van der Woodsen: I'm not, but I thought you wanted to wait. I thought you wanted to make things special.
Blair Waldorf: Oh, so Nate gets the free pass and I'm the slut?
Serena van der Woodsen: Tell me you didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge.
Blair Waldorf: Well it wasn't because I liked his natural musk. Besides, nothing hurts more than sleeping with the best friend, right S?
Serena van der Woodsen: Way to prove a point.

Blair Waldorf: A girl wants Romeo not Hamlet.
Serena van der Woodsen: Romeo died.

Lily van der Woodsen: When you two are done hiding up here I'm taking you both out for dessert.
Serena van der Woodsen: Can't mom I'm busy.
Lily van der Woodsen: But this is important for our family it'll just be the three of us.
Serena van der Woodsen: Mom anytime you say it'll just be the three of us it means your dating someone new. Whoever it is I don't care I'll just see him at the wedding.
Lily van der Woodsen: Fine, fine then I wil just tell you who it is because your going to be seeing him around from now on, it's Bart Bass.
Serena van der Woodsen , Eric van der Woodsen: Bart Bass!
Serena van der Woodsen: Mom you can not date Bart Bass.
Lily van der Woodsen: You just said a moment ago you didn't care who it was.
Serena van der Woodsen: That was before I knew who it was.
Eric van der Woodsen: He only has one facial expression he scares me.
Serena van der Woodsen: And he raised Chuck that scares me.
Lily van der Woodsen: Oh, Serena as usual your being overly dramatic. I'm not marrying Bart, this is very casual and regardless I'm not asking your permission.

I don't even know how she breathes with her blouse button that hish.

Serena van der Woodsen: I'm so glad they did this alphabetically, cause now I get to see the look on your face when I use your answer even sooner.
Blair Waldorf: I can tell you right now the look on my face will be a vindication.

Serena van der Woodsen: Oh ok, let's get one thing straight: our parents may be insisting on blending our households but I am not your sister. I do not share any of your DNA, nor do I ever wish to.
Chuck Bass: Then I suggest you get new hand towels.

Blair Waldorf: How do you manage to get out of everything unscathed?
Serena van der Woodsen: Because I'm nice. You should try it. Come on, compliment me. Tell me my hair looks beautiful!
Blair Waldorf: But your hair looks disgusting. Did you even shower today?

Serena van der Woodsen: Oh ok, let's get one thing straight: our parents may be insisting on blending our households but I am not your sister. I do not share any of your DNA, nor do I ever wish to.
Chuck Bass: Then I suggest you get new hand towels.

Dan Humphrey: Oh, Chuck, I had no idea you felt that way about me!

Chuck, yes, I'm still fine. I haven't heard from Georgina in two weeks, so if you'd stop calling me, I'd finally be rid of all of my monsters. Bye!

Serena van der Woodsen , Blair Waldorf: Hey, what are you doing here?
Blair Waldorf: Uh... I'm a big Leaky Hawk fan.

Dan Humphrey: Did you sleep with someone else?
Serena van der Woodsen: Yes.
Dan Humphrey: I'm done.

Oh God. Hot lifeguard has a Camaro. And not in an ironic-I've-got-a-Camaro kind of way.

Blair Waldorf: As his consort, I have to be able to hobnob with oligarchs and dictators.
Serena van der Woodsen: Well, if you can't find common ground with a dictator, I don't know who can.

You know my mom: if it's not broke, break it.