Dr. Ross Geller Quotes

And that's why, no matter what Mommy says, we really were on a break.

Uh, Joey, some people don't like that.

Ross: Don't you want a washboard stomach and rock-hard abs?
Chandler: No. I want a flabby gut and saggy man-breasts.

Pivot. Pi-vot. PI-VOT.

Ross: Wanna hear something weird?
Phoebe: Always.

Rachel Green: You really think I didn't say "good-bye" because I don't care?
Dr. Ross Geller: That's what it seemed like.
Rachel Green: I cannot believe that after ten years, you do not know one thing about me!
Dr. Ross Geller: Fine! That why didn't you say something?
Rachel Green: Because it is too damn hard, Ross! I cannot even begin to explain to you how much I am going to miss you! When I think about not seeing you everyday, it makes me not want to go! Okay? So if you think that, that I didn't say "good-bye" to you because you don't mean as much to me as everyone else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there! All right? *There's* your good-bye!
Dr. Ross Geller: Rach!
Rachel Green: What?
Dr. Ross Geller: You ca - ! You keep - ! You can't - !
Rachel Green: What?

Dr. Ross Geller: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and, besides, Emma loves them. You know what? You should come with us and you'll see!
Rachel Green: Ross, those things go like forty miles an hour! There's a moment when you're at the top when you just don't know if you're gonna retun back to earth!
Dr. Ross Geller: Space *is* filled with orbiting children...

Ross: While we're waiting, why don't you guys record your message to Emma?
Chandler: Hi Emma. It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?

Monica: Why don't you take Ross?
Ross: Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...
Monica: No, not if their room has two beds!
Ross: I guess... It still seems a little... moonlight boat ride?

Rachel Green: Hi, Doctor, how are you?
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh sure, you're nice to her
Rachel Green: She has the drugs!

Ross: I don't... Rachel?
Joey: Ross...
Ross: Rachel?
Gunther: RACHEL?

Phoebe: Where are the seats exactly?
Ross: Middle balcony.
Phoebe: Now would you say that that's more than fifty yards away from Sting, his wife, or a member of his family?
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: Than it's not breaking the law. I can go.

Dr. Ross Geller: How could you tell her?
Chandler Bing: I had to, OK? We're getting married. Married people can't keep secrets from one another!
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, really? Well, I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
Chandler Bing: Du-ude!
Monica Geller: What happened in Atlantic City?
Dr. Ross Geller: Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...
Chandler Bing: Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude!"

Joey: Or you know, you could do...
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
Joey: What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!
Ross: What? How do you even know it's broken?
Joey: You think I don't know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me.
Joey: What do you know? It's broken! That'll be $400.
Chandler: Joey I saw you push him.
Joey: You pushed him!
Ross: Joey, I did not break this, okay?
Ross: That has been broken for a while.
Joey: Hey Chandler, remember when I told you about our fridge?
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: I still haven't gotten a check for your half yet.
Ross: Do not give him any money!
Joey: I'm not talking to you, you broke my fridge!

Rachel: What is it with men? Do wedding vows mean squat to you people?
Ross: Wait. Didn't you spend last night at Joey's?
Rachel: What are you, a detective?

Stage Manager: All right. All of you guys just dance and don't look at the cameras. Any questions?
Ross: Yeah. When is this going to air.
Stage Manager: Yeah. Let's start.
Joey: Hey, Ross. When IS this going to air?

What? You're over me? When were you... under me?

Ross: Well hello Mrs. Ross
Rachel: Well hello Mr. Rachel

Joey Tribbiani: Oh, I know how we can decide. I'm gonna ask you questions and you've gotta answer real fast, OK? What do you like better, action or comedy?
Dr. Ross Geller: Action.
Joey Tribbiani: Who would you rather sleep with, Monica or Rachel?
Dr. Ross Geller: Dude, you are sick!
Joey Tribbiani: Oh, right, I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing!

Ross: Hey! I am not unemployed, I'm on sabbatical.
Joey: Okay Ross, don't get all religious on me!

Joey: Wait, Wait! Why does Chandler get to be best man? He was yours last time!
Ross: Well, I've known Chandler a long time.
Joey: Wait a minute! C'mon Ross, I don't have any brothers; I'll never get to be a best man!
Chandler: Joey, you can be best man at my wedding.
Joey: I'll never get to be a best man!

Dr. Rhodes: Take your shirt off and let's see what we're dealing with here.
Dr. Rhodes: What are you doing?
Dr. Ross Geller: Just showing you my run-of-the-mill, slice-it-right-off third nipple...
Dr. Rhodes: Well, that's not a third nipple.
Dr. Ross Geller: No?
Dr. Rhodes: First of all, it's on your ass.

Ross: I knew it. I knew it. I always knew she liked him. She'd say no, but here we are, right. We just broke up, first thing she does.
Chandler: You didn't just break up!
Ross: Hey, it's been like, three weeks!
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower!

Ross Geller: She was...
Joey Tribbiani: Awful!
Chandler Bing: Not good! Not good!
Joey Tribbiani: Nothing compared to you.
Ross Geller: Different.
Joey Tribbiani: No!
Chandler Bing: Uh oh.

Dr. Leonard Green: Do you know what rust does to a boat?
Ross Geller: Give it that nice, antique-y look?
Dr. Leonard Green: Rust is boat cancer.
Ross Geller: I'm sorry. When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that.

Russ: You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
Ross: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss, day two, here's your diploma.