C.C. Baxter Quotes
Latest C.C. Baxter quotes from The Apartment
C.C. Baxter is played by Jack Lemmon in The Apartment.
C.C. Baxter: Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.
J.D. Sheldrake: What do you mean, sorry?
C.C. Baxter: You're not going to bring anybody to my apartment.
J.D. Sheldrake: I'm not just bringing anybody; I'm bringing Miss Kubelik.
C.C. Baxter: Especially not Miss Kubelik.
J.D. Sheldrake: How's that again?
C.C. Baxter: No key.
J.D. Sheldrake: Baxter, I picked you for my team because I thought you were a very bright young man. Do you realize what you're doing? Not to me, but to yourself? Normally, it takes years to work your way up to the twenty-seventh floor. But it only takes thirty seconds to be out on the street again. You dig?
C.C. Baxter: I dig.
J.D. Sheldrake: So what's it going to be?
J.D. Sheldrake: Now you're being bright.
C.C. Baxter: Thank you, sir.
J.D. Sheldrake: Say, Baxter, you gave me the wrong key.
C.C. Baxter: No, I didn't.
J.D. Sheldrake: But this is the key to the executive washroom.
C.C. Baxter: That's right, Mr. Sheldrake. I won't be needing it because I'm all washed up around here.
J.D. Sheldrake: What's gotten into you, Baxter?
C.C. Baxter: Just following doctor's orders. I've decided to become a "mensch". You know what that means? A human being.
J.D. Sheldrake: Now, hold on, Baxter...
C.C. Baxter: Save it. The old payola won't work anymore. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.
Fran Kubelik: I never catch colds.
C.C. Baxter: Really? I was reading some figures from the Sickness and Accident Claims Division. You know that the average New Yorker between the ages of twenty and fifty has two and a half colds a year?
Fran Kubelik: That makes me feel just terrible.
C.C. Baxter: Why?
Fran Kubelik: Well, to make the figures come out even, if I have no colds a year, some poor slob must have five colds a year.
C.C. Baxter: Yeah... it's me.
On November 1st, 1959, the population of New York City was 8,042,783. If you laid all these people end to end, figuring an average height of five feet six and a half inches, they would reach from Times Square to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan. I know facts like this because I work for an insurance company - Consolidated Life of New York. We're one of the top five companies in the country. Our home office has 31,259 employees, which is more than the entire population of uhh... Natchez, Mississippi. I work on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861.
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