Fran Kubelik Quotes

C.C. Baxter: You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.
Fran Kubelik: Shut up and deal...

C.C. Baxter: The mirror... it's broken.
Fran Kubelik: Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.

When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.

Fran Kubelik: He's a taker.
C.C. Baxter: A what?
Fran Kubelik: Some people take, some people get took. And they know they're getting took and there's nothing they can do about it.

Why do people have to love people anyway?

Fran Kubelik: I never catch colds.
C.C. Baxter: Really? I was reading some figures from the Sickness and Accident Claims Division. You know that the average New Yorker between the ages of twenty and fifty has two and a half colds a year?
Fran Kubelik: That makes me feel just terrible.
C.C. Baxter: Why?
Fran Kubelik: Well, to make the figures come out even, if I have no colds a year, some poor slob must have five colds a year.
C.C. Baxter: Yeah... it's me.

Just because I wear a uniform doesn't make me a girl scout.

I'd like to spell it out for you... only I can't spell!

I was jinxed from the word go. The first time I was ever kissed was in a cemetery.

You fool. You damn fool.

Fran Kubelik: Shall I light the candles?
C.C. Baxter: It's a must! Gracious living-wise.

Fran Kubelik: [Baxter is straining spaghetti with a tennis racket] Say, you're pretty good with that racket.
C.C. Baxter: You should see my backhand. Wait'll you see me serve the meatballs.

Fran Kubelik: What do you call it when somebody keeps getting smashed up in automobile accidents?
C.C. Baxter: Bad insurance risk?
Fran Kubelik: That's me with men.