Dr. John Watson Quotes

I'm an army doctor, which means I could break every bone in your body while naming them.

Dr John Watson: Have you talked to the police?
Sherlock Holmes: Four people are dead, there isn't time to talk to the police.
Dr John Watson: So why are you talking to me?
Sherlock Holmes: Mrs. Hudson took my skull.
Dr John Watson: So I'm basically filling in for your skull?
Sherlock Holmes: Relax, you're doing fine.

Dr. John Watson: The thing about Mary is she has completely turned my life around. Changed everything. But, for the record, over the last few years there are two people who have done that, and the other one is...
Dr. John Watson: ... a complete dick-head.

Mrs. Hudson: ages you.
Dr. John Watson: Just trying it out.
Mrs. Hudson: Well, it ages you.

Dr. John Watson: Clients?
Sherlock Holmes: Just my parents.
Dr. John Watson: Your parents?
Sherlock Holmes: In town for a few days.
Dr. John Watson: Your parents?
Sherlock Holmes: Mycroft promised to take them to a matinee of Les Mis. Tried to talk me into doing it.
Dr. John Watson: Those were your parents?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes.
Dr. John Watson: Well. That is not what I...
Sherlock Holmes: What?
Dr. John Watson: I-I mean, they're... just... so... ordinary.
Sherlock Holmes: It's a cross I have to bear.

Dr. John Watson: I'm definitely going to kill you.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, please. Killing me, that's so two years ago.

Sherlock Holmes: Do people actually read your blog?
Dr. John Watson: Where do you think our clients come from?
Sherlock Holmes: I have a website.
Dr. John Watson: In which you enumerate two hundred and forty different types of tobacco ash. Nobody's reading your website.

You're Sherlock Holmes. Wear the damn hat.

Dr. John Watson: Um... Mmm, right, you... You told me once... that you weren't a hero. Umm, there were times I didn't even think you were human but let me tell you this, you were, uh, the best man and the most human... human being that I've ever known and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. That so... there.
Dr. John Watson: I was... I was so alone. And I owe you so much.
Dr. John Watson: Oh, please, there's just one more thing, right? One more thing. One more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don't... be... dead. Would you, just for me, just stop it? Stop this.

Dr. John Watson: We should call the police.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes.
Sherlock Holmes: On their way.
Dr. John Watson: For God's sake!
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, shut up. It's quick.

I mean, obviously, "normal" and "fine" are both relative terms when it comes to Sherlock and Mycroft.

Dr. John Watson: There are lives at stake... Sherlock. Actual human li... Jus-just so I know, do you care about that at all?
Sherlock Holmes: Will caring about them help save them?
Dr. John Watson: Nope.
Sherlock Holmes: Then I'll continue not to make that mistake.
Dr. John Watson: And you find that easy, do you?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes. Very. Is that news to you?
Dr. John Watson: No. No.
Sherlock Holmes: I've disappointed you.
Dr. John Watson: That's good... that's a good deduction, yeah.
Sherlock Holmes: Don't make people into heroes, John. Heroes don't exist, and if they did, I wouldn't be one of them.

Mrs. Hudson: I'll make you that cuppa, you rest your leg.
Dr John Watson: Damn my leg! Sorry, I'm so sorry. It's just sometimes this bloody thing...
Mrs. Hudson: I understand, dear, I've got a hip.

Did we just break into a military base to investigate a rabbit?

Sherlock Holmes: I need to get some air - we're going out tonight.
Dr John Watson: Actually, I've, uh, got a date.
Sherlock Holmes: What?
Dr John Watson: It's where two people who like each other go out and have fun?
Sherlock Holmes: That's what I was suggesting.
Dr John Watson: No, it wasn't. At least I hope not.

Dr John Watson: Is that my computer?
Sherlock Holmes: Of course.
Dr John Watson: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Mine was in the bedroom.
Dr John Watson: What? And you couldn't be bothered to get up?
Dr John Watson: It's password-protected.
Sherlock Holmes: In a manner of speaking. Took me less than a minute to guess yours, not exactly Fort Knox.

Mrs. Hudson: There's another bedroom upstairs, if you'd be needing two bedrooms.
Dr John Watson: Of course we'll be needing two.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh, don't worry. There's all sorts 'round here. Mrs. Turner next door's got married ones.

The problems of your past are your business. The problems of your future are my privilege.

There's nothing the matter with me! Imagine I said that without shouting.

Sherlock Holmes: You may as well eat. We might be waiting a long time.
Dr. John Watson: Hmm, are you going to?
Sherlock Holmes: What day is it?
Dr. John Watson: It's Wednesday.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm okay for a bit.

Holmes, against absolutely no opposition whatsoever, I am your closest friend.

Is this a game? A bloody game.

You might wanna close that window. There is an east wind coming.

Don't you dare. You made a vow. You swore it.

Well! Glad to see you've pulled, Sherlock, what with murderers running riot at my wedding.