Riverdale Quotes

Reggie Mantle: I mean let's think about it: if a kid at Riverdale killed Jason, it's not gonna be a jock right? No let's be honest. Isn't it always some spooky, scrawny, pathetic internet troll too busy writing his manifestos to get laid? Some smug, moody, serial killer, fanboy freak... like Jughead?
Reggie Mantle: What was it like, suicide squad? When you killed Jason? You didn't do stuff to the body like... after?
Jughead Jones: It's called necrophilia, Reggie... Can you spell it?
Reggie Mantle: Come here, you little-!
Archie Andrews: Hey shut the hell up, Reggie!
Veronica Lodge: Boys...
Reggie Mantle: What do you care, Andrews?
Archie Andrews: Nothing, just leave him alone.

I can finally live out my Charlie Brown fantasy of having junk food for Thanksgiving.

Archie, as my blood-brother, it was your sole responsibility to ensure that something like this never happened on my birthday. And now we're here. In the middle of a Seth Rogen movie.

Betty Cooper: My parents are unbelievable, Jug. Polly is locked up in that house like a character out of Jane Eyre and what are they doing? Changing each other's login accounts and throwing bricks through windows.
Jughead Jones: I wish I'd seen that.
Jughead Jones: Okay, I'm sorry. That's not funny.
Betty Cooper: It's like you know how in a time of crisis, people either come together or fall apart? It feels like we're falling apart. And the way things are going, pretty soon the Coopers, we're not even gonna exist anymore and there's nothing I can do to stop that!
Jughead Jones: Betty don't! Don't do give up! You family is definitely splintering right now but it won't fall apart because of you. Because you're holding them together. You're so much stronger than all of the white noise. You're stronger than your mother. You're stronger than your father. You're holding this family together. So don't... don't let go.
Betty Cooper: I won't.

Fear. It's the most basic, the most human emotion. As kids, we're afraid of everything. The dark... The boogeyman under the bed... And we pray for morning. For the monsters to go away. Though they never do. Not really. Just ask Jason Blossom.

Betty Cooper: Ms. Grundy showed up in Riverdale a year ago, out of thin air. There is no record of her before that. Her Facebook, her LinkedIn account... they were all created a year ago. Before that she's a ghost, she doesn't exist. The only "Geraldine Grundy" I could find was a woman who died seven years ago.
Archie Andrews: Where did you find all this?
Veronica Lodge: The deep web, the dark internet. Check it, it's all online... simple Googling.

You wanted fire? Sorry, Cheryl Bombshell, my specialty is ice.

Kevin Keller: Does Mama Cooper know about that?
Betty Cooper: Kev, I'm not on house arrest.
Betty Cooper: Okay, she's out of town at a Women in Journalism Spa retreat. Anyway it's not a DATE date.
Jughead Jones: You just called it a date. You literally said it's a date.
Betty Cooper: That's just my cover. Really, it's an intelligence gathering mission.

Betty Cooper: My mom and dad don't want to get the police involved. They don't want anyone to know that she ran away or about her shameful condition.
Veronica Lodge: Please... what decade is this?
Betty Cooper: Well also since she knew where Jason's getaway car was, people might think that she burned it. And if she did...
Jughead Jones: -She could be the murderer, covering her tracks.
Archie Andrews: Well who did burn the car then?
Betty Cooper: Sheriff Keller thinks it's possible someone was following us.
Veronica Lodge: Oh my God. Honestly, guys, we should- we should just move.
Betty Cooper: Guys, what if Polly's really hurt? What if whoever killed Jason's coming after her next?
Jughead Jones: Hey.

Betty Cooper: Do you believe him?
Jughead Jones: I do. Do you?
Betty Cooper: I believe you, Jughead.

Veronica Lodge: What the hell is a "Sticky Maple"?
Kevin Keller: It's kinda what it sounds like. It's a Riverdale thing.
Veronica Lodge: No, Kevin, it's a slut-shaming thing and I'm neither a slut nor am I going to be shamed by someone named, excuse me, Chuck Clayton! Does he really think he can get away with this? Does he not know who I am? I will cut the brakes on his souped-up phallic symbol.
Betty Cooper: Or we could go to Principal Weatherbee.
Veronica Lodge: About the coach's son who's captain of the football team and Riverdale High's golden boy?
Betty Cooper: And/or I can expose him in the Blue and Gold. Yeah, I can do that.
Veronica Lodge: No! Spoken like a true good girl who always follows the rules.
Veronica Lodge: Well, I don't follow rules. I make them. And when necessary, I break them. You wanna help me get revenge on Chuck, Betty? Awesome! But you better be willing to go full dark, with no stars. What do you say, in or out?

People like to say that the death of Jason Blossom changed everything at Riverdale High, but certain things, certain traditions, never change. Take homecoming for instance. Though Jason's jersey had been retired, the Riverdale Bulldogs would still be playing their arch-rivals the Baxter High Ravens with the River Vixens cheering them on. As in previous years, graduates from days of Riverdale past will come to town to relive their more youthful, more carefree days or... To make up for lost time.

I don't need you to mob-splain what's best for my family.

I thought the farm would keep me safe from the Black Hood, but, bonus, I'm also learning a bunch of fun, terrifying facts about myself.

At it's heart, Riverdale was, and is, a wicked little town.

Lynchian: adjective to describe something inspired by the noted American filmmaker David Lynch, and/or to describe something both incredibly macabre and incredibly mundane.

Jughead Jones: Breaking news, everybody. So the University of Iowa has one of the best writing programs in the country. I applied for spring, but they told me they could take me as early as fall.
Archie Andrews: You're a good writer, bro.
Cheryl Blossom: Wait, so this acceptance is conditional?
Jughead Jones: Yeah, They require additional materials, which means I need another story. But this could be my redemption after that whole Stonewall hell. The only problem is the well of my creative unconscious is tapped out.
Betty Cooper: Well, you can write a monster story about Mr. Honey.
Betty Cooper: I am proud of you though, Jug.
Jughead Jones: What did he do?
Betty Cooper: Honey is refusing to publish the yearbook. Our legacy. The written record of our last four years. Our friendships, our loves, clubs, dances.
Veronica Lodge: Bee, if it's about money, I'm happy to help pay for the printing.
Betty Cooper: Thank you, Vee, but it's... the principal of it. Mr. Honey has been on our case since day one. Do you remember when he threatened us on our first day back? And how many of us are already banned from going to prom?
Kevin Keller: Fangs, Reggie, Toni and I are all banned because of Ticklegate.
Betty Cooper: And I'm out because of that bogus quiz show cheating scandal.
Cheryl Blossom: Lest we not forget my transcendent rendition of Cherry Bomb, which got Veronica, the Vixens and myself barred from the promenade.
Betty Cooper: So, literally the only people going to prom are...
Archie Andrews: You wanna go to prom with me, Jug?
Jughead Jones: Oh, I'd be honored. But I'm not putting out.
Kevin Keller: Let the fan fiction begin.