Ozark Quotes

Wendy Byrde: Well, let's, let's cut right to it, shall we Fred? What is it going to take, to pout us over the top, and host your convention?
Client: REO Speedwagon.
Wendy Byrde: REO Speedwagon...
Client: Yeah. If you're the kinda place that can get the Wagon, you're gonna have yourself a whole lot'a dentists.

Gene Bracken: You and your husband signed those papers without a fight.
Wendy Byrde: You know, the kind of people who do the troubling things you think we're doing are the kind of people who will do anything to protect their children.

Buddy Dieker: There was a French writer, long time ago - I can't remember his name. Well, I can't remember anybody's name. Anyway, he was old, for those days, and very sick, lungs and ticker all going, and he was stuck in bed. Now, this guy's a loner all his life. But he tells the lady taking care of him that he wants to see his friends, say goodbye. So she sends out word, and all his friends come to his little hovel, gather around his deathbed, telling stories. And you know what happens?
Wendy Byrde: What happens?
Buddy Dieker: He doesn't die.
Wendy Byrde:
Buddy Dieker: And then after a couple days, the friends, well, they leave. They have lives. And then he dies. Sad, but sweet. Because, when you think you're gonna die yesterday, today is *sweet*. So, hang in, Wendy. Lose your shit tomorrow. Today's no day to fall apart.

Del: Grab what you can while you can.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: I, just, uh, you know...
Del: What? The risks?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Yes.
Del: Well, I understand, but you only really have to worry about the risks if you are careless or dumb. And you're neither.

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: You know, by shooting him, you basically signed my death warrant.
Buddy Dieker: Well, remind me, next time, I'll let him kill your family.

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Remember in Chicago when they were like 10 and 7, and they wanted to know what murder was?
Wendy Byrde: Vaguely.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: And Jonah asked, if someone's driving and they hit somebody who was walking, was that murder?
Wendy Byrde: And I said no, it was manslaughter.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: He kept saying it over and over again. Manslaughter. Manslaughter...
Wendy Byrde: Why are you remembering this now?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: And Charlotte realized it was "mans laughter". It was funny.

Money is not peace of mind. Money's not happiness. Money is, at its essence that measure of a man's choices.

Ruth Langmore: Any questions?
Frank Cosgrove Jr.: No.
Ruth Langmore: Good. Now quit parkin' in the crippled spot. What you got ain't a disability. Just poor fuckin' judgment...

Marriage Counselor: Marty, what would it look like to achieve your objectives without interfering with Wendy's project.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: I think that that would look like death.
Marriage Counselor: But what would it really look like.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Really, death.
Marriage Counselor: Okay. Marty, my mother had a saying. Just as a pie is only as good as it's crust, a marriage is only as good as it's trust.

How 'bout if I pop those tits and squeeze out the silicone.

Devereaux: If you was my daughter, I'd tar the living shit outta you.
Ruth Langmore: And if I was your daughter, I'd slit my throat first.

Charles Wilkes: Tell me. How does a casino equate to a more simple family life?
Wendy Byrde: Oh. What we do for a living has absolutely no bearing on how we parent. And I refute anybody who says Christian values and capitalism can't coexist.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Hmm.
Wendy Byrde: Hmm?

Wendy Byrde: Skip wrapping it. Just get it out of sight.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: No, I can't just stack bills in a wall and call it a day. There's rot, and there's termites, there's rats. First year I did this, Bruce lost 300K in two days to squirrels.

Charlotte Byrde: I miss my friends.
Wendy Byrde: Your friends are always gonna be your friends, no matter what.
Charlotte Byrde: You don't know that. You made it so that I can't tell them anything. I have to pretend like the worst, scariest, most damaging thing in my life is actually fucking awesome.

Wendy Byrde: Hi, this is Wendy. Leave me a message.
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: They put up a cross. Jesus fuck! They put up a cross.

Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Well, obviously, I didn't kill anyone.
Ruth Langmore: I know. If you're a killer, then I'm fucking Snow White. And I don't see any dwarfs around.

Wendy Byrde: I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can inflate construction costs and launder money through it. And quite frankly, I don't give a shit if you like it or not. 'Cause I feel pretty good about it. It's a good idea, and I did it for our family. What'd you do today - for our family?
Martin 'Marty' Byrde: Bought a strip club.

Russ Langmore: A predilection for sour mash doesn't make a man stupid.
Ruth Langmore: Doesn't inspire confidence either.
Russ Langmore: Point taken.

Charlotte Byrde: Who is that?
Wendy Byrde: That is Buddy Dieker.
Charlotte Byrde: Who?
Wendy Byrde: Mr. Dieker will be living in the basement for a year give or take.
Charlotte Byrde: Mom, what are we doing here?
Wendy Byrde: Your father's laundering money for a Mexican drug cartel. I shit you not. Hello, Mr. Dieker...