Penny Quotes

Bernadette Rostenkowski: It's just that work's been crazy, and the minute I get home, I have two kids hanging on me, and sometimes I don't want babies pulling my hair and pinching my belly fat.
Penny Hofstadter: That'd be a good slogan for a condom company.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Ooh, you just chose champions. It's like we're re-enacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.
Penny: It's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Leonard makes you watch that, too?
Penny: No, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Bernadette is a successful microbiologist. She should be celebrated for her achievements, not her looks. I mean, what kind of message does that send?
Penny: I think the message is, "Check out the rack on that scientist!"

Arthur Jeffries: So you have any single grandmothers?
Penny: Sorry, they're both married.
Arthur Jeffries: Happily?

Penny: Uh, that doesn't sound good.
Sheldon Cooper: Remember the old days when I used to point out that your check engine light was on?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, we're ready to stroll down memory lane. Penny your check engine light is on.
Penny: Yes, I know it's on Sheldon. Oh, no, no, no, no. I can't afford this right now.
Sheldon Cooper: Maybe it's just something minor. Oh good news. The light just went out.

Amy Farrah Fowler: We won.
Penny Hofstadter: Congratulations!
Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, my god!
Sheldon Cooper: We did it.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I know. Can you believe it?
Sheldon Cooper: That's a good point. What if I'm dreaming?
Sheldon Cooper: We won the Nobel Prize!

Penny Hofstadter: Champagne, a champagne, a champagne with a packet of Splenda in it.
Sheldon Cooper: You know what I call this drink?
Penny Hofstadter: A waste of champagne?
Sheldon Cooper: No. A Dr. Cooper. Because...
Amy Farrah Fowler: He is also sweet and bubbly.

Penny: You asked Stephen Hawking and not her father?
Sheldon Cooper: Stephen Hawking's a genius. If he said no, I wasn't gonna waste my time on her father.
Amy Farrah Fowler: But you did ask my father?
Sheldon Cooper: I did. He said yes. Although not in a robot voice, so it wasn't nearly as cool.
Penny: Okay. Oh, my god, I can't believe you guys are engaged.
Sheldon Cooper: We're not engaged yet. She's taking forever to answer.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Because you're on the phone!
Sheldon Cooper: We'll call you back.
Sheldon Cooper: She said yes.

Penny Hofstadter: [Sheldon holds up another card] Oh, that's a venn diagram. And I remember because I thought to myself: 'Venn is he going to stop talking about this diagram?'
Leonard Hofstadter: What are you guys doing?
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time to expand our respective knowledge bases.
Leonard Hofstadter: Hnh. Let me try.
Leonard Hofstadter: Atom of hydrogen; Adam of Maroon 5; mike drop.
Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry, who is Mike Drop?

Penny Hofstadter: Helium.
Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
Sheldon Cooper: Taylor Swift.
Penny Hofstadter: Yes.
Penny Hofstadter: Pi.
Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
Sheldon Cooper: Kardashian.
Penny Hofstadter: More specific.
Sheldon Cooper: Khloé?
Penny Hofstadter: Yes!
Sheldon Cooper: Ah! See, I remember because if it looks like Kim, it's Kim; if it looks kinda like Kim, it's Kourtney; if it looks nothing like Kim, it's Khloé.

Penny, we are made of particles that existed since the moment the universe began. I like to think those atoms travelled 14 billion years through time and space to create us so that we could be together and make each other whole.

Penny: Sheldon!
Penny: Sheldon!
Penny: Sheldon!
Sheldon Cooper: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.
Sheldon Cooper: I don't recommend it, you'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Sheldon Cooper: What would constitute a perfect day for you?
Penny: Oh. Well, I'd probably sleep in, do a little yoga, then lie on the beach while cute cabana boys brought me drinks, and probably get a massage, and then cap off the night with some dancing.
Sheldon Cooper: That's it?
Penny: Yeah, why?
Sheldon Cooper: You didn't mention Leonard.
Penny: He's there.
Sheldon Cooper: I don't think so. Leonard can't stand yoga, the beach, massages, or dancing.
Penny: Yeah, well, he brought a book, okay, what's yours?
Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, uh, I wake up. Uh, I enjoy some French toast with butter and syrup. Then a wormhole opens and whisks me millions of years into the future, where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race.
Penny: Interesting. You didn't mention Amy.
Sheldon Cooper: Who do you think made the French toast with butter and syrup?

Leonard Hofstadter: All right.
Penny: What's wrong?
Leonard Hofstadter: I'm not sure. Just feels a little anticlimactic.
Penny: Yeah, it kind of does, huh?
Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, I know. This might help.
Penny: Where did you get a ring?
Leonard Hofstadter: I've... had it for a couple of years, not important.
Leonard Hofstadter: Penny, will you marry...
Penny: Oh, my God. Yes.
Leonard Hofstadter: This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger.

Penny: Yeah, I think so.

Leonard Hofstadter: You know I want to marry you, but you're only doing this because you got fired and you're feeling sorry for yourself.
Penny: Okay, it may look that way, but getting fired from that movie was the best thing that could ever happen to me, okay? I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard Hofstadter: Then what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Pop Tart!
Leonard Hofstadter: Oh. Then I guess I'm in.
Penny: Really? You guess you're in?
Leonard Hofstadter: Not like "I guess I'm in:" Like "I guess... I'm IN!"
Penny: Okay. Cool.
Leonard Hofstadter: So is that it? Are we engaged?

Penny: What's wrong with geology?
Sheldon Cooper: Let me put this in a way you'll understand Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.

Sheldon: Uhm, Penny, that's where I sit.
Penny: So sit next to me.
Sheldon: No, I sit there.
Penny: What's the difference?
Sheldon: What's the difference?
Leonard: Here we go.
Sheldon: In the winter, that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion. I could go on.

Penny: Tell me something about you I don't know.
Sheldon Cooper: I own nine pairs of pants.
Penny: Okay, that-that's a good start, but I was thinking maybe something a little more personal.
Sheldon Cooper: I see.
Penny: Mm.
Sheldon Cooper: I own nine pairs of underpants.

Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon Cooper: Penny!
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon Cooper: Penny!
Penny: Who do we love?
Sheldon Cooper: Penny!

Penny: Look, Honey, I was really drunk and made a huge mistake last night. We should have never slept together; it's what ruins friendships.
Raj Koothrappali: You can't ruin a friendship with sex; that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Penny: Sheldon and Amy had sex.
Raj Koothrappali: Shut your ass!
Penny: Mm-hmm. Amy told me.
Raj Koothrappali: How did that even happen? Did they know that's what they were doing when they were doing it?

Penny: You know, I could totally rock a hat like that.
Sheldon Cooper: That's the work of noted Hollywood costume designer Deborah Nadoolman. She also designed the iconic red and black jacket in Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video, which I've never watched in its entirety, as I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also, it's really scary.

Sheldon Cooper: Penny?
Sheldon Cooper: Penny?
Penny: Penny?
Sheldon Cooper: That's just wrong.

Sheldon Cooper: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon Cooper: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and it makes me sad.
5 of 5 found this interesting | Share this

Penny: Here, what's going on?
Leonard Hofstadter: It's a little hard to explain. He does this thing where he pretends he's in an alternate dimension that occupies the same physical space we're in, but he can't perceive us.
Sheldon Cooper: Don't flatter yourself; I'm just ignoring you.

Sheldon: You know, Penny, there is something that occurs in beehives that you might find interesting. Occasionally a new queen bee will arrive while the old queen is still in power. When this happens, the old queen must either locate to a new hive or engage in a battle to the death until only one queen remains.
Penny: What are you saying? That I'm threatened by Alicia, that I'm like the old queen of the hive and it's just time for me to go?
Sheldon: I'm just taking about bees. They're on the Discovery Channel. What are you talking about?

Penny: There! Looks fine, right?
Leonard Hofstadter: Mmm... butt print. There's not discernible butt print.
Penny: Oh, come on.
Penny: There! Butt print.
Leonard Hofstadter: It's too small and too... perfect.
Penny: Thank you!

Penny: Hmm... Cute dresses. I bet this looks great on you.
Leonard Hofstadter: We're not living together.
Penny: Okay. Hmm... Scented candles, fuzzy slippers. Ooh, floral bed sheets.
Leonard Hofstadter: We're not living together!
Penny: Okay, moving on. Uh, who are these guys at Disney World?
Leonard Hofstadter: Uh... the big dog is Goofy. And... the older couple with the mouse ears, I have no idea.
Leonard Hofstadter: We're not living together!
Penny: You're gonna go down swinging, huh? All right. Well, we've got your body lotion, your "In Style" magazine, your jewelry box.
Leonard Hofstadter: We're not- where's my Bat-Signal?
Penny: You have a Bat-Signal?
Leonard Hofstadter: I did. It was right here. She must have...
Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, my God. We're living together.
Penny: Really? What was your first clue?

Sheldon Cooper: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well, your "ken" can kiss my Barbie.

Howard Wolowitz: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
Penny: What?
Howard Wolowitz: Just do it.
Penny: It's - it's a non-optional social convention.
Sheldon Cooper: Ah, fair enough.
Howard Wolowitz: He came with a manual.