The Big Lebowski Quotes

Far out, man. Far fucking out!

Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Who the fuck are the Knutsens?

Mind if I do a J?

Ow! Fucking fascist!

I was one of the original authors of the Port Huron Declaration. Not the compromised second draft...

He was innocent, not a charge was true, and they say he ran away... Branded!

The Dude abides.

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

You're being very undude.

The little prick is stonewalling me.

I'm more Jewish than Tevye!

Am I wrong?

Achtung baby!

As if we would DREAM of taking your money!

Let me tell you something. The whole thing stinks to high heaven.

That rug really tied the room together.

Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?

Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head.

Of course the car made it home, you're calling me at home. No, Walter, it did NOT look like Larry was about to crack!

I hate the fuckin' Eagles man.

Yes, Walter, you're right. There is an unspoken message here. It's "FUCK YOU, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Yeah, I'll be at practice.

H-hey, this is a private residence, man!

Hey, nice marmot!

I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug.

Where's the fucking money Lebowski?

At least I'm housebroken.

My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.

I'm sorry your stepmother is a nympho.

They're gonna kill that poor woman.

Oh boy. How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus.

Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?

The Dude: Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. Real fucking brat, but I'm sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he's fifteen.
The Dude: Flunking social studies.

So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million... five grand... I'll go out and mingle.

This is a very complicated case, Maude. A lot of ins, a lot of outs. Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep my mind limber.

Oh no, really, it's, ahh, not even... not even bruised anymore.

What the fuck are you talking about?

He just wanted the car. All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back. That really tied the room together.

Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!
Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!

Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.

Look at our current situation with that camel fucker over in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind.

GOD DAMN IT! Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps!

Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary.

Call the medics, Dude. I'd go myself but I'm pumping blood. Might pass out. Rest easy, good buddy, you're doing fine. We got help choppering in.

Anti-semite!

Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman.

That's right, Dude, they peed on your fucking rug.

It's all water under the bridge.

Anti-semite!

I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos!

If you will it, it is no dream.

Yeah, the beauty of this is its simplicity. If it gets complex, everything can go wrong.

Fifteen, Dude. This is it. Let's take that hill!

And a good day to you, sir!

Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?

The story is ludicrous.

My father's weakness is vanity, hence the slut.