The Big Lebowski Quotes

Far out, man. Far fucking out!

Let me tell you something. The whole thing stinks to high heaven.

As if we would DREAM of taking your money!

Achtung baby!

Am I wrong?

I'm more Jewish than Tevye!

The little prick is stonewalling me.

You're being very undude.

Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

Shut the fuck up, Donny.

The Dude abides.

He was innocent, not a charge was true, and they say he ran away... Branded!

I was one of the original authors of the Port Huron Declaration. Not the compromised second draft...

Ow! Fucking fascist!

Mind if I do a J?

Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not "Mr. Lebowski". You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

Who the fuck are the Knutsens?

GOD DAMN IT! Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps!

Look at our current situation with that camel fucker over in Iraq. Pacifism is not something to hide behind.

Whereas what we have here? A bunch of fig-eaters wearing towels on their heads, trying to find reverse in a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy adversary.

Call the medics, Dude. I'd go myself but I'm pumping blood. Might pass out. Rest easy, good buddy, you're doing fine. We got help choppering in.

Anti-semite!

This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head.

Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man.

Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman.

That's right, Dude, they peed on your fucking rug.

God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?

It's all water under the bridge.

Anti-semite!

I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos!

If you will it, it is no dream.

Yeah, the beauty of this is its simplicity. If it gets complex, everything can go wrong.

Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here!

Fifteen, Dude. This is it. Let's take that hill!

And a good day to you, sir!

Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.

Do you see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?

The story is ludicrous.

My father's weakness is vanity, hence the slut.

So if you could just write me my check for ten percent of a half a million... five grand... I'll go out and mingle.

At least I'm housebroken.

My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.

I'm sorry your stepmother is a nympho.

I could be just sitting at home with pee stains on my rug.

They're gonna kill that poor woman.

Hey, nice marmot!

Oh boy. How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus.

H-hey, this is a private residence, man!

Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?

Yes, Walter, you're right. There is an unspoken message here. It's "FUCK YOU, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Yeah, I'll be at practice.

The Dude: Your money is being held by a kid named Larry Sellers. Real fucking brat, but I'm sure your goons can get it off him. I mean, he's fifteen.
The Dude: Flunking social studies.

Where's the fucking money Lebowski?

This is a very complicated case, Maude. A lot of ins, a lot of outs. Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict drug regimen to keep my mind limber.

Oh no, really, it's, ahh, not even... not even bruised anymore.

What the fuck are you talking about?

That rug really tied the room together.

He just wanted the car. All the Dude ever wanted was his rug back. That really tied the room together.

Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos.

I hate the fuckin' Eagles man.

Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!
Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

Of course the car made it home, you're calling me at home. No, Walter, it did NOT look like Larry was about to crack!

Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!

Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince.