Sheldon Cooper Quotes

I've often been asked why I never learned to drive a car. This night is your answer.

Tam: You know, sometimes you sound like a super villain.
Sheldon: Silence!
Tam: That'll be more effective after your voice changes.
Sheldon: Silence!

Rules are the pillars of society. I love rules. But what benefit are rules to a dead man?

Why does it smell like Missy?

Brenda Sparks: I'm gonna have a little chat with your mother.
Sheldon Cooper: Seems unlikely. My mother's on Vulcan.
Billy Sparks: My mother's on Valium.

Georgie: Admit he, he's adopted.
Sheldon Cooper: How can I be adopted when I have a twin sister? Think, monkey, think.
Missy Cooper: I wish I was adopted.
Mary: That can still be arranged.

Sheldon: I was trying to be more like Georgie.
Mary: That's a dumb idea. We don't want Georgie to be like Georgie.

Sheldon: Are you head of the drama department?
Mr. Lundy: And the coach of the girl's volleyball team, which if you ask me is the real drama department.
Sheldon: Was that a joke?
Mr. Lundy: I thought so.

Sheldon: Mom, I was going through our expenditures and I noticed our grocery bills are up 12% compared to last quarter? Any idea why?
George Sr.: Well, there's a person at the end of the table who eats for free.
Meemaw: And there's a person at the *other* end of the table who eats for three!

Sheldon Cooper: You think I have mental problems?
Mary Cooper: Well, not "problems". I'm just worried about your future. And when I see you moving sub-atomic particles around in the air, that makes me...
Sheldon Cooper: Sub-atomic particles are real! You talk to an invisible man in the sky who grants wishes. If anyone's mental, it's you!

Do good baseball.

Why would I steal glitter? I already have a sparkling personality.