The Boss Quotes

Let's watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

Whoo! That batch is burnt!

Pity's all you've got. Pity's your best friend.

Thank you. Great encounter. It's always, uh, fun, and uh, I think I'm done with you.

I tried a Dorito for the first time last night. It wasn't cheese. It was... cheese adjacent, but not cheese. It was really good!

My name is Michelle Darnell, and I am the wealthiest woman in America. How wealthy am I? I wanted to come down on a golden phoenix and I sure as shit did it!

Michelle Darnell : I am amazed that the United Center is even still standing because I crushed it tonight!
Tito : You crushed it like velvet!

Rachel : Holy shit!
Claire : Language!
Claire : Holy SHIT!

Claire : Michelle, you gotta get out of the bathroom. I'm already late for work and Rachel's gonna be late for school.
Michelle Darnell : Well, I'm going as fast as I can. You're welcome to come in.
Claire : [Opening the door to find Michelle applying self-tanning spray] Fine, but we gotta get on the schedule if you're gonna be here. Oh, my God! Close your robe!
Michelle Darnell : No, absolutely not! I'm self-tanning and my legs are still wet.
Claire : I can see your vagina.
Michelle Darnell : Well, congratulations and you're welcome. You know, I had it rejuvenated in 2010. They called it a vaguvenation. You know, it's like a soft silk coin purse.
Michelle Darnell : I can barely urinate.
Claire : Oh, my God.
Michelle Darnell : Now, do me a favor and tell me if I have any streaks on my hamstrings.
Claire : Oh, my God! Put it away!
Michelle Darnell : Huh!
Claire : Put it away!
Rachel : Whoa!
Michelle Darnell : Hi, Racquel.
Rachel : It's Rachel!
Claire : Go grab your backpack, honey. We don't need to brush our teeth today. Our teeth are fine.
Claire : . You need to wipe some of that off your face. You know, it dries darker.
Michelle Darnell : No. Does it?
Claire : Yes.
Michelle Darnell : That's not what the bottle says.
Michelle Darnell : Oh. Oh, it's okay. It's coming off like a dream on your towel.
Claire : You need to clean up the bathroom and... consider staying away from self-tanner altogether. Your... pelvic region is the color of curry.
Michelle Darnell : Namaste, Claire. Thank you.
Claire : That's not a compliment.