Pity's all you've got. Pity's your best friend.
Read more Michelle Darnell QuotesFrom: The Boss
Whoo! That batch is burnt!
Let's watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre!
Claire : Michelle, you gotta get out of the bathroom. I'm already late for work and Rachel's gonna be late for school.Michelle Darnell : Well, I'm going as fast as I can. You're welcome to come in.Claire : [Opening the door to find Michelle applying self-tanning spray] Fine, but we gotta get on the schedule if you're gonna be here. Oh, my God! Close your robe!Michelle Darnell : No, absolutely not! I'm self-tanning and my legs are still wet.Claire : I can see your vagina.Michelle Darnell : Well, congratulations and you're welcome. You know, I had it rejuvenated in 2010. They called it a vaguvenation. You know, it's like a soft silk coin purse.Michelle Darnell : I can barely urinate.Claire : Oh, my God.Michelle Darnell : Now, do me a favor and tell me if I have any streaks on my hamstrings.Claire : Oh, my God! Put it away!Michelle Darnell : Huh!Claire : Put it away!Rachel : Whoa!Michelle Darnell : Hi, Racquel.Rachel : It's Rachel!Claire : Go grab your backpack, honey. We don't need to brush our teeth today. Our teeth are fine.Claire : . You need to wipe some of that off your face. You know, it dries darker.Michelle Darnell : No. Does it?Claire : Yes.Michelle Darnell : That's not what the bottle says.Michelle Darnell : Oh. Oh, it's okay. It's coming off like a dream on your towel.Claire : You need to clean up the bathroom and... consider staying away from self-tanner altogether. Your... pelvic region is the color of curry.Michelle Darnell : Namaste, Claire. Thank you.Claire : That's not a compliment.