Dee Reynolds: A 24-hr clock? Is this why we had to wait for you to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond?Dennis Reynolds: Yes, Dee you Goddamned bitch!
Charlie Kelly: I knew that guy was full of shit! I knew it!Dennis Reynolds: What guy?Charlie Kelly: That lawyer guy, okay? He totally besmirched me today, and I demand satisfaction from him.Mac: You want him to bang you?Charlie Kelly: Uh. No, Mac. Be serious, okay? He slandered me in front of a jury of my own peers, all right? Look what they used to do when that sort of thing happened.Charlie Kelly: Take a look at this picture. What do you see?Mac: I see two trannies shooting at each other.Charlie Kelly: No, dude. They're dueling, okay? These are lawyers settling an argument by dueling it out.Dennis Reynolds: Now, how do you know that the two trannies are lawyers?Charlie Kelly: 'Cause it's an old book, okay? I don't have to explain everything to you about what I know! I'm trying to... get satisfied... from this dude... and you're trying to... I'm getting satisfied. I don't care.
Charlie Kelly: Mac, can an asshole rip in half?Mac: Like tissue paper.
Frank Reynolds: I'm going with you guys because I am bored as shit.Dee Reynolds: That's not a good idea because when you get involved people usually get hurt.Frank Reynolds: I'm just hanging out with the guys. How's anyone gonna get hurt?