Mac: The only way that my dad is not going to kill us is if he thinks we're already dead.Charlie Kelly: Oh, great, I hope you'd say that. Great, let's kill ourselves. Let's do it.
You want some insulin?
Dee Reynolds: I had the craziest dream last night that I was in Cleveland, Ohio - which is really weird because I've never been to Ohio. And this guy was wearing a bunny suit, and he was coming out of...Dennis Reynolds: You know what Dee, I don't want to hear about your dream, okay? I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them, and nobody's having sex, I just... don't care.
Stripper: Oh, look at you sweetie. What happened?Charlie Kelly: Viet-goddamn-nam's what happened! Go get me a beer bitch!