Red Welby Quotes

Mildred Hayes: What's the law on what ya can and can't say on a billboard? I assume it's ya can't say nothing defamatory, and ya can't say, 'Fuck' 'Piss' or 'Cunt'. That right?
Red Welby: Or... Anus.
Mildred Hayes: Well I think I'll be alright then.

Willoughby: You really wanna fuck with the Ebbing Police Department, Red? Do you?
Red Welby: I guess.

Red Welby: He's dying, Mildred.
Mildred Hayes: We're all fucking dying!

Desk Sergeant: And where'd you check all this out ?
Red Welby: In a... a book
Desk Sergeant: Which book, genius ?
Red Welby: Book called Suck My Ass, It's None Of Your Business

Mildred Hayes: Hey fuckhead!
Dixon: What?
Desk Sergeant: Don't say what, Dixon. When she comes in calling you a "fuckhead."

Mildred Hayes: So how's it all going in the nigger- torturing business, Dixon?
Dixon: It's 'Persons of color'-torturing business, these days, if you want to know. And I didn't torture nobody.

Mildred Hayes: Hey, Dixon?
Dixon: Yeah?
Mildred Hayes: I need to tell you something... It was me that burned down the police station.
Dixon: Well, who the hell else would it have been?

Dixon: We've had two official complaints about the billboards, so, actually...
Willoughby: From who?
Dixon: A lady with a funny eye... and a fat dentist.
Willoughby: Give me the file on the Angela Hayes case.
Willoughby: A lady with a funny fucking eye?... Jesus Christ.

Mildred Hayes: Dixon?
Dixon: Yeah?
Mildred Hayes: Are you sure about this?
Dixon: 'Bout killing this guy? Not really. You?
Mildred Hayes: Not really. I guess we can decide along the way.

Dixon: What are you, an idiot?
Desk Sergeant: Don't call me an idiot, Dixon!
Dixon: I didn't call you an idiot, I asked if you was an idiot... That was a question.

See, Red, I got issues with white folks too!

Red Welby: Stop fucking crying, good damn it! The salt'll just fuck up your wounds.
Dixon: I thought salt was supposed to be good for your wounds.
Red Welby: What am I, a fucking doctor?