House M.D. quotes

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You're supposed to be in clinic duty.
Dr. Gregory House: Like I can sleep down there with all the crying and coughing.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You owe me fifty bucks.
Dr. Gregory House: Then you owe me half a lap dance.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Gregory House: Cuddy wants to get Rachel into Waldenwood Preschool. Problem is Rachel's dumber than a paste sandwich.
Dr. James Wilson: And her not getting in bothers you. You care about Rachel. That was not advice.
Dr. Gregory House: Cuddy cares about her, which means when Rachel gets rejected, Cuddy will be upset. Then, as a boyfriend, I will be expected to be supportive and consoling.
Dr. James Wilson: Not your strengths, I grant you. Leave it alone. It's just a play date. It'll be fine.
Dr. Gregory House: "Play date" being their code for "way to weed out the paste sandwiches." They'll hand her puzzles and counting games and Rachel will just sit there and eat the pieces.
Dr. James Wilson: Oh, crap! Crap! I'm such a sucker.
Dr. Gregory House: Thanks for the advice.

Dr. James Wilson, Dr. Gregory House