House M.D. quotes

I'd turn around and shoot you but apparently I'd miss.

Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Gregory House: Why do you think the elevators would be out to get me?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I don't know. Maybe they wanted to take time off to spend with their little dumbwaiter but then they had to leave it at home with an elevator sitter because you drove the replacement elevator into quitting because you're incapable of listening to anybody but me. But that's just a theory.
Dr. Gregory House: You're wrong. I don't even listen to you. Either do your job or go home. Leave me out of it!
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I am going to do my job. Doesn't mean I have to do it happily. Doesn't mean I have to do it without resentment, and it definitely doesn't mean I have to do it without seeking vengeance on the person making me be here. Congratulations, you've officially dragged me down to your level.
Dr. Gregory House: Okay.

Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dr. Gregory House

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Except I didn't used to have sex with him, you idiot! Plus he was a gay hooker!
Dr. Gregory House: Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a straight male hooker?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Dr. Gregory House