Fargo Quotes

The heck do ya mean?

Unguent... I need unguent.

You're a smooth smoothie, you know?

Come on, plug me into the ozone, baby, come on!

Whoa Daddy.

You stay away from me, man! Hey, smoke a fuckin' peace pipe!

Shep, whatthefuckyadoin'? I'm banging that girl!

Airport Lot Attendant: There's a minimum charge of four dollars. Long-term parking charges by the day.
Carl Showalter: I guess you think you're... you know, like an authority figure, with that stupid fuckin' uniform, huh buddy? King clip-on-tie there, big fuckin' man, huh? You know these are the limits of your life, man! The rule of your little fuckin' gate here!
Carl Showalter: Here's your four dollars, you pathetic piece of shit!

You're darn tootin'!

I decided not to park there.

Oh, fuck it, I don't have to talk, either, man! See how you like it. Just total fuckin' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

Just keep it still back there, lady, or we're going to have to, you know, shoot you.

Would it... kill you to say something? "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a... that's fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa daddy! Stand back, man. Shit. I'm sitting here driving. Doing all the driving, man. The whole fucking way from Brainard driving. Just trying to... chat, you know. Keep our spirits up, fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one fucking thing just in the way of conversation. Oh fuck it. I don't have to talk to you either, man. See how you like it. Just total fucking silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.

Carl Showalter: Who the fuck are you?
Carl Showalter: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?
Wade Gustafson: I got your damn money. Now, where's my daughter?
Carl Showalter: I am through fuckin' around here! Drop that fuckin' briefcase!
Wade Gustafson: Where's my daughter?
Carl Showalter: Fuck you, man! Where's Jerry? I gave simple fuckin' instructions!
Wade Gustafson: Where's my damn daughter? No Jean, no money!
Carl Showalter: Drop that fuckin' money!
Wade Gustafson: No Jean, no money!
Carl Showalter: Is this a fuckin' joke here?
Wade Gustafson: Aww, Jeez.
Carl Showalter: Happy now, asshole? What's with you people? Ya fuckin' imbeciles!
Carl Showalter: Ah! You fuckin' shot me!
Carl Showalter: You fuck!

I'm not gonna debate you.

I need unguent.

Scotty Lundegaard: [finishing supper] May I be excused?
Jerry Lundegaard: Ya done, there?
Scotty Lundegaard: Yah. Can I go out?
Jean Lundegaard: Where ya goin'?
Scotty Lundegaard: Just to McDonalds.
Jerry Lundegaard: Be back at 9:30.
Wade Gustafson: He just ate - he didn't finish! He's goin' to McDonalds instead of finishin' here.
Jean Lundegaard: He sees his friends there. It's okay.
Wade Gustafson: It's okay, MAC-Donalds. Heh. Whaddya think they do there? They don't drink milkshakes, I assure you.
Jean Lundegaard: It's okay, Dad!

Jean Lundegaard: I am talking about your potential. You're not a 'C' student.
Scotty Lundegaard: Uh huh...
Jean Lundegaard: Yet you're gettin' 'C' grades. It's the disparity here that concerns your dad and me.
Scotty Lundegaard: Mmmm.
Jean Lundegaard: Ya know what a disparity is?
Scotty Lundegaard: [attentive now] Yeah!
Jean Lundegaard: Okay, then! That's why we don't want ya goin' out for hockey!
Scotty Lundegaard: Oh, come on! What's the big deal? It's just an hour a... what's the big deal?
Jean Lundegaard: Hold on.
Jean Lundegaard: Hullo? Oh, hi, Dad! Yah! He's here, I'll catch him for ya!
Jean Lundegaard: Hon, it's Dad.
Scotty Lundegaard: Look, Dad, there's no fucking way...
Jerry Lundegaard: Hey, let's watch that language there!

Jean Lundegaard: Hiya, hon! Welcome back! How was Fargo?
Jerry Lundegaard: Yah, real good now.
Jean Lundegaard: Dad's here.
Jerry Lundegaard: Is he stayin' for supper then?
Jean Lundegaard: I dunno... I think so. Dad?
Wade Gustafson: What?
Jean Lundegaard: You stayin' for supperrrrr?
Wade Gustafson: Yah!