Cable : Why are you protecting the kid?Deadpool : I don't give a fuck about him and his Are You My Mother complex!
Wade Wilson : Sorry I'm late. There was a bunch of handicapable children stuck in a tree and I had to, uh...Vanessa : Uh-uh.Wade Wilson : You're right. I was fighting a caped badass. But then we discovered his mom is named Martha, too.Vanessa : No.Wade Wilson : You got me. I was rounding up all the gluten in the world and launching it into space where it can't not hurt us ever again.Vanessa : Try again.Wade Wilson : Diarrhea? We can't be sure until I get this suit off but, uh, all signs point to yes. Traffic? Hmm?Vanessa : Kiss me like you miss me, Red.
He's teamed up with the Juggernaut. The Juggernaut! That's, like, my favorite Marvel character ever, but you should never meet your heroes, because honestly, he's a bit of a dick! And like a lot of dicks, he's as hard as a rock, and causes nothing but problems!
Wade Wilson : George Michael was right. I'm never gonna dance again. Fuck! He's dead, too. At least we still have Bowie.Weasel : Yeah, we still...Weasel : ... have Bowie.