My 5th job was a garbage collector. I cleaned up after litter bugs and didn't have to talk to anybody. Sometimes I liked to pretend I was an intergalactic robot.
Read more Max Jerry Horovitz QuotesFrom: Mary and Max
You are my best friend. You are my only friend.
Tell Bernie Clifford your birth mark is made of chocolate, which means when you get to heaven you will be in charge of all the chocolate. This of course is a lie, I do not like lies, but in this case I think it will be of benefit. I wish I could be in charge of all the chocolate, but of course I can not, because of my Atheism.
Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.