There's something insincere about these greeting cards that we send to each other all the time. They're like these paper emotional prostitutes, isn't it? I don't know what my feelings are, so I'll pay some total stranger a buck to make up this Hallmark hooker to do job for me. So I can go, "I didn't write this, but whatever they wrote, I think the same thing." Wouldn't it be better if we just had one card that covered every occasion for everybody in one shot? Happy birthday, Merry Christmas, Happy anniversary, Congratulations, It's a boy and our deepest sympathies. Signed, the whole office."
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From: Seinfeld