Hello. Hi, um, I'm a recovering crackhead. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I'd like some welfare please.
Read more Dennis Reynolds QuotesFrom: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Charlie Kelly: Check it out... Who's to say we didn't put that very same poison in the drinking water?Mac: Everybody relax. He's lying. He doesn't have any poison.Charlie Kelly: No, I don't have any on me. But I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.Frank Reynolds: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles.Frank Reynolds: What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?Charlie Kelly: Well, that's mayonnaise. That's a decoy.Frank Reynolds: And the mayo?Charlie Kelly: That's shampoo.Frank Reynolds: You're telling me I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?Charlie Kelly: If you're using the mayonnaise, yeah... probably.
What is your spaghetti policy here?
Dee Reynolds: I had the craziest dream last night that I was in Cleveland, Ohio - which is really weird because I've never been to Ohio. And this guy was wearing a bunny suit, and he was coming out of...Dennis Reynolds: You know what Dee, I don't want to hear about your dream, okay? I hate listening to people's dreams. It's like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them, and nobody's having sex, I just... don't care.