Ted Mosby: Barney, you've really grown up, you know that?Barney Stinson: Thanks, now lets watch our two best friends have sex on tape!
Ted: Are you a vampire?Carl: That's it, I'm cutting you off. Go home, Ted. Get some sleep.Ted: Yep, the sun's comin' up pretty soon. Wouldn't wanna be around for that, now would we?
Ted Mosby: I used to believe in destiny, you know? I go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that's been stuck in my head all week, and I think: "Wow... Hey, maybe she's the one?" Now I think: "I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel."Robin Scherbatsky: You've just been focused on work.Ted Mosby: No, it's more than that. I stopped believing. Not in some depressed I'm-gonna-cry-during-my-toast way. Not in a way I even noticed until tonight. It's just, every day I think I... believe a little less, and a little less, and a little less, and that sucks. What do I about that, Scherbatsky?Robin Scherbatsky: You're Ted Mosby. You start believing again.Ted Mosby: In what? Destiny?Robin Scherbatsky: Chemistry. You got chemistry, you only need one other thing.Ted Mosby: What's that?Robin Scherbatsky: Timing. But timing's a bitch.
Robin: I think I like your suit.Ted: I think I like your new french horn.Robin: I think I like your nose.Ted: I think I'm in love with you.Robin: What?