Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.
Read more Barney Stinson QuotesFrom: How I Met Your Mother
The truth is, I thought I'd be married by now and going through all this stuff along side you guys. But even if I meet the girl of my dreams right this second I'm still one night and nine months away from having a family of my own. And that's assuming the mother of my children is just a huge slut.
When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be AWESOME instead. True story
Ted Mosby: I used to believe in destiny, you know? I go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that's been stuck in my head all week, and I think: "Wow... Hey, maybe she's the one?" Now I think: "I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel."Robin Scherbatsky: You've just been focused on work.Ted Mosby: No, it's more than that. I stopped believing. Not in some depressed I'm-gonna-cry-during-my-toast way. Not in a way I even noticed until tonight. It's just, every day I think I... believe a little less, and a little less, and a little less, and that sucks. What do I about that, Scherbatsky?Robin Scherbatsky: You're Ted Mosby. You start believing again.Ted Mosby: In what? Destiny?Robin Scherbatsky: Chemistry. You got chemistry, you only need one other thing.Ted Mosby: What's that?Robin Scherbatsky: Timing. But timing's a bitch.