Barney: Dude, lots of chicks think architects are hot. Think about it, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There's nobody hotter than God.Ted: I love it when you quote Scripture.
Ted: Are you a vampire?Carl: That's it, I'm cutting you off. Go home, Ted. Get some sleep.Ted: Yep, the sun's comin' up pretty soon. Wouldn't wanna be around for that, now would we?
Ted Mosby: Hey, Barney. I got a little poem for you. You want to hear it?Barney Stinson: No, not really.Ted Mosby: T'was the night before, I had hours to kill. I sat in the tavern, grading parchments with quill.Barney Stinson: With quill?Ted Mosby: Barney. It's a poem.Ted Mosby: A busty, young lassie flashed me a grin.Her garb said "classy," but her eyes whispered "sin." She said, "you're a teacher?" I said, "yes, indeed." "I must have you," she moaned. "I'm turned on by tweed." With haste we did scamper To my chamber anon. We fell to the couch, and, bro, it was on. I unlaced her bodice. Our passions grew deeper. And thus ends the tale of the sexless innkeeper.
You're moving to Chicago? Is that even a real place? It's a style of pizza. Ted, you can't live in a pizza.