Daniel Hillard Quotes

Did you ever wish you could sometimes freeze frame a moment in your day, look at it and say "this is not my life"?

Take five. Take five million. You're dead.

Daniel: It's not working. I need to go older.

They should have a little disclaimer that says "Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Watching This Show". Incredible. This guy used to put me to sleep when I was a kid. Amazing. He has the warmth of a snow pea. He makes Mister Rogers look like Mick Jagger.

I admire that honesty, Natalie, that's a noble quality. Never lose that, because it often disappears with age, or entering politics.

Oh, as I hold this cold meat, I'm reminded of Winston.

Newspaper? Are you taking one of those personal ads: DWF seeks WWM with BMW into light B&D?

Isn't this posh? I'll bet it's very exclusive, probably need a credit reference just to get in the pool.

Well now that you know, You can't tell mom, Because If she finds out, I'll only be able to see you through plate glass, OK? and you can't tell Natalie, cause she'll blow my cover.

Ah! Norman Bates!

Daniel: Could you make me a woman?
Frank: Honey, I'm so happy!
Daniel: I knew you'd understand.

Frank: Would you be careful with this one? She's an old woman.
Frank: Why wasn't I an only child?

Frank: Older? You mean like a Shelley Winters older, or Shirley MacLaine older?
Daniel: What's the difference?
Frank: Some Scotch tape and red hair dye.
Daniel: What about Joan Collins?
Frank: Oh, I don't think I have the strength. But I have some plaster.

Frank: She wants to know if you want to come stay with her.
Daniel: No way!
Frank: He says he'll think about it, Ma.

Daniel: I feel like Gloria Swanson.
Frank: You look like her mother.
Daniel: I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.