Mycroft Holmes: This is a private matter.Sherlock Holmes: John stays.Mycroft Holmes: This is family.Sherlock Holmes: THAT'S WHY HE STAYS!
As my colleague is fond of remarking, this country sometimes needs a blunt instrument. Equally, it sometimes needs a dagger - a scalpel wielded with precision and without remorse.
So on to some funny stories about John. If you could all just cheer up a bit, that would... be better.
Twenty-year-old disappearance? A monstrous hound? I wouldn't miss this for the world!