Homer Simpson: Ah. I love these real Saturdays. They're so relaxing.Homer Simpson: Not like that fake Saturday that almost got me fired!
Read more Homer Simpson QuotesFrom: The Simpsons
Night gathers and now my Duff-Watch begins. It shall not end until my death, or my 12 week option is not picked up. I shall take no wife, hold no lands and father no children, except for the wife and house and kids I'm already stuck with. I shall wear no other beers' crowns'. I am the six-pack hidden in daddy's secret cabinet, I put the fest in Oktoberfest, and sell for eight bucks at ball parks. Though I have nothing to offer but my suds, head and beers, and promotional cosies, for this night and all nights to come.
Bart: Wow Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?Homer: Oh Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan.Ned Flanders: Wait! Homer, what did you just say?Homer: I said shut your ugly face, Flanders!
Homer's Brain: Use reverse psychology.Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.Homer's Brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.Homer: Okay, I will.