Homer: Yeah, that Timmy is a real hero.Lisa: How do you mean dad?Homer: Well... he fell down a well... and he can't get out.Lisa: How does that make him a hero?Homer: Well it's more than you did.
Principal Skinner: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible. I don't think suspension or expulsion will do the trick. I think it behooves us all to consider... deportation.Marge Simpson: Deportation? You mean kick Bart out of the country?Homer Simpson: Hear him out, Marge.
Homer Simpson: STEALING! How could you? Why do you think I took you to see all those "Police Academy" movies, FOR FUN? I DIDN'T HEAR ANYONE LAUGHING, DID YOU? except at that guy who made sound effects.Homer Simpson: Now where was I? Oh, yeah: stay away from my booze.
Lisa Simpson: Bart, you're my big brother. You should act like it more often. You know, protect me from the bad things in the world.Bart Simpson: As far as nerdy little sisters go, you're the coolest.Lisa Simpson: Thanks, Bart.Bart Simpson: And I'm sorry I sabotaged your flag.Lisa Simpson: I'm sorry I got us lost out here.Bart Simpson: Oh! And I'm sorry I sawed the heads of your Malibu Stacy dolls. Okay, now you go.Lisa Simpson: I don't think I've done anything else.Bart Simpson: Okay, I'll go again. Remember when your bike was mangled by "gypsies"?Lisa Simpson: Yes?Bart Simpson: Yeah, funny story. One day I was really bored, and Dad had left a steamroller idling in the driveway...