Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey! Don't let that be in vain.
Read more Robin Scherbatsky QuotesFrom: How I Met Your Mother
Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.
Oh my God, can you just be cool? Once. Please! Just once!... Can you just once be cool? Once! Please!
Ted Mosby: Hey, Barney. I got a little poem for you. You want to hear it?Barney Stinson: No, not really.Ted Mosby: T'was the night before, I had hours to kill. I sat in the tavern, grading parchments with quill.Barney Stinson: With quill?Ted Mosby: Barney. It's a poem.Ted Mosby: A busty, young lassie flashed me a grin.Her garb said "classy," but her eyes whispered "sin." She said, "you're a teacher?" I said, "yes, indeed." "I must have you," she moaned. "I'm turned on by tweed." With haste we did scamper To my chamber anon. We fell to the couch, and, bro, it was on. I unlaced her bodice. Our passions grew deeper. And thus ends the tale of the sexless innkeeper.