How I Met Your Mother quotes

Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake.
Ted: That cake really got to you?
Marshall: It haunts me.

Ted Mosby, Marshall Eriksen

A few final thoughts, don't get married until you're thirty. Play laser tag once a week. Give at least as many high fives as you get. Teacup pigs are lady magnets, but are very hard to care for... Not worth the effort. The same goes for dogs and babies. And most importantly, whatever you do in this life... it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it. Good luck boys. Take care of the game for me.

Barney Stinson

Ted Mosby: I used to believe in destiny, you know? I go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line, reading my favorite novel, whistling the song that's been stuck in my head all week, and I think: "Wow... Hey, maybe she's the one?" Now I think: "I just know that bitch is going to take the last whole wheat everything bagel."
Robin Scherbatsky: You've just been focused on work.Ted Mosby: No, it's more than that. I stopped believing. Not in some depressed I'm-gonna-cry-during-my-toast way. Not in a way I even noticed until tonight. It's just, every day I think I... believe a little less, and a little less, and a little less, and that sucks. What do I about that, Scherbatsky?
Robin Scherbatsky: You're Ted Mosby. You start believing again.
Ted Mosby: In what? Destiny?
Robin Scherbatsky: Chemistry. You got chemistry, you only need one other thing.
Ted Mosby: What's that?
Robin Scherbatsky: Timing. But timing's a bitch.

Ted Mosby