Luis Quotes

The undercarriage is filthy!

You know what? You're right. This isn't truth serum. 'Cause I don't feel anything. That was a lie. I did feel something. This is truth serum!

Oh, you got Pezed!

Sonny Burch : Where... is Scott Lang?
Luis : Well, see, that's complicated. 'Cause when I first met Scotty, he was in a bad place. And I'm not talking about cell block D. His wife had just filed for divorce. And I was like, "Damn, homie, she dumped you while you were in lock-up?" And he's like, "Yeah, I know. I thought I was gonna be with her forever, but now, I'm all alone!" And I was like, "Damn, homie, you gotta chin up. 'Cause you'll find a new partner. But you know what? I'm Luis." And he says, "You know what? I'm Scotty. And we're gonna be best friends."

Sonny Burch : Okay, hold on, hold on. I like a good story as much as the next person, but what in the hell does this have to do with where Scott Lang is?
Luis : I'm getting there. I'm getting there.
Dave : You put a dime in him, and you gotta let the whole song play out.
Kurt : He like human jukebox.
Luis : Oh, my abuelita had a jukebox in the restaurant! Yeah, only played Morrissey. And if anybody ever complained, she'd be like "Oh, ¿no te gusta Moz". You know, Chicanos we call him "Moz". "Then, ¡adiós!". What can I say? You know, we relate to this melancholy ballads. You know?

Wazzuuuuup?

So anyway, this guy gets out of jail and starts working for Hank. And that's when he met Hope. And Hope's all like, "I want nothing to do with you. Look at my hairdo. I'm all business." And then Scotty's like, "You know what, girl? My heart's all broken, and I'll probably never find love again. But damn, if I want to kiss you!" But then you fast-forward and they're all like into each other, right? And then Scotty's like, "You know what, I can't tell you this, but I'm gonna go trashing the airport with Captain America!" Then she said, "I can't believe you split like that! Smell you later, dummy!" So Scotty goes on house arrest, and he won't admit it, but his heart's all like, "Damn! I thought Hope could've been my new true partner. But I blew it!" But fate brought them back together, and then Hope's heart is all, "I'm worried that I can't trust him. And he's gonna screw up again and ruin everything." And in my heart, it's all like, "That fancy raspberry filling represents the company's rent. And we're days away from going out of business! Oooh!"

Luis : Wow, Dr. Pym. Like, who would've thought that, once again, in your hour of need, that you would turn to us? You know?
Dr. Hank Pym : Not me.

Luis : Oh, you know what? I heard stories, like what happened to you. Like this crazy, creepy cat who like, walks through walls and stuff. Like a... Like a Ghost!
Kurt : Like Baba Yaga. Baba Yaga. The witch. They tell stories to children to frighten them. You know Baba Yaga?

Whassup? You don't remember, uh that beloved commercial? Whassup?

Luis : Tell me you got the van washed for tomorrow morning.
Dave : Down to the undercarriage, baby.
Luis : You sprung for the undercarriage wash?
Dave : Well, you said get the works.
Luis : That's a scam, Bro. We live in California, not Minnesota!
Sonny Burch : He's right. The undercarriage wash. That's for cleaning off road salt. Laid out in all those snow-laden sister states.
Luis : Who are you and why do you know so much about car wash protocol?