Samantha Jones Quotes

Samantha Jones: I haven't used it since Smith came back.
Jerry "Smith" Jerrod: Oh, baby that's sweet.

Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy.

I've been out with lots of guys and they say I am just as beautiful as a model, but I work for a living. I mean, I'm like, well... I'm like a model who's taken the high road.

Hello, 911. I'm on fire.

Of course it's her fault and I can't say I'm surprised. Have you seen her on a stairmaster? Nothing happening below the waist.

That one actually works against you. If we wanted to work that hard we'd find ourselves a man, am I right?

Samantha: I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.
Carrie: Now it's airborne.

Charlotte York: I feel like we don't belong here!
Carrie Bradshaw: That's because we're wearing shirts!
Miranda Hobbes: Seriously, why don't straight men have bodies like this?
Carrie Bradshaw: Because gay men have the possibility of sex at the gym! If straight men had that they'd be working out all the time too!
Samantha Jones: I've had sex at the gym!
Carrie Bradshaw: See, Samantha's doing her part to motivate the masses!

I've done the girl thing - once, twice, usually involved a guy and a couple of quaaludes. It was nice really, and really nice for the guy.

I have a date with a dildo.

You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'.

Hello, 911. I'm on fire.

Samantha Jones: I fucked a guy once because his family had a pool. He was pretty much of a nerd, but I'd go over there and get all coca-buttered up. His mom loved me. She was always serving me Kool-Aid and chips.
Carrie: Kool-Aid?
Samantha Jones: Yeah, Kool-Aid. I was 13. And honey, you should have seen my tan.

Samantha: If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world.
Carrie: And at least our hands would be free to greet dignitaries and everything.

Charlotte York: Is he a good kisser?
Samantha Jones: Oh, who the fuck cares? His dick is like a gherkin.

Charlotte: She stole my baby name!
Samantha: You bitch! Let's go home.

Miranda Hobbes: You haven't met the Rabbit.
Samantha Jones: Oh, come on. If you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called the Horse.

Miranda Hobbes: If he so much as suggests what she's suggesting, you give me a call and we'll sue the hell out of him. That's the only proper way to trade sex for power.
Samantha: I can't believe what I'm hearing. You're like the Harvard Law Lorena Bobbitt.
Miranda Hobbes: Ah, it's Skipper, I told him I was here and he insisted on picking me up. But he's not supposed to be here 'till eleven!
Carrie: Oh! He's like a sweet little seal pup.
Miranda Hobbes: That you sometimes want to club.

Miranda Hobbes: If he goes up your butt, will he respect you more or respect you less? That's the issue.
Taxi Driver: No smoking in the cab.
Carrie: Sir, we're talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.
Samantha Jones: Front, back, who cares? A hole is a hole.
Miranda Hobbes: Can I quote you?
Samantha Jones: Don't be so judgmental. You could use a little back door.
Charlotte: I'm not a hole.
Carrie: Honey, we know.