You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilized way!
Read more George Costanza QuotesFrom: Seinfeld
On my block, a lot of people walk their dogs, and I always see them walking along with their little poop bags, which to me is just the lowest function of human life. If aliens are watching this through telescopes, they're gonna think the dogs are the leaders. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume was in charge?
Two cups in the front, two loops in the back... how do they do it?
Went out to dinner the other night. Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. Never liked the "check at the end of the meal" system, because money's a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat, money has no value. You don't care about money when you're hungry. You sit down in a restaurant and you're like the ruler of an empire... "More drinks! Appetizers! Quickly, quickly! It will be the greatest meal of our lives." Then after the meal, you know, you got the pants open, you got the napkins destroyed, cigarette butt in the mashed potatoes. Then the check comes at that moment. People are always upset, you know. They're mystified by the check. They're... "What is this? How could this be?" They start passing it around the table. "Does this look right to you? We're not hungry now. Why are we buying all this food?"