Jeff Greene Quotes

Jeff Greene: What's with the hat?
Larry: What? I'm married. I can wear whatever I want.

Jeff Greene: What happened to you?
Larry David: I fell in the toilet.
Jeff Greene: How did you fall in the toilet?
Larry David: I went to go pee and the seat was up.
Jeff Greene: What does that have to do with you?
Larry David: I pee sitting down.
Jeff Greene: You pee sitting *down*?
Larry David: Yeah! Have you ever tried it?
Jeff Greene: No!
Larry David: It's more comfortable. When you get up during the night you don't have to turn the light on and wake up. And you get to read.
Jeff Greene: What are you reading?
Larry David: I'm reading a lot of stuff.
Jeff Greene: What stuff?
Larry David: If I pee 20 times during a day, I can get through the whole New York Times for God's sake!
Jeff Greene: 20 times?
Larry David: Yeah! Hey buddy, while you're peeing all over your shoe, I'm learning something!