Jack Hodgins Quotes

Look how far north the expedition site is, right? Even Santa Claus wouldn't travel that far north.

Angela Montenegro: I never knew you sailed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I was a rich kid, ya know? We had to sail and have at least one girlfriend named Muffy. It's in the charter.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Tell him... tell him... tell him that we get points against us at daycare if we change Michael's schedule at the last minute - and if we get any more we may lose his spot.
Angela Montenegro: Wow. That's good. Are you that good when you lie to me?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: How would I know? I've never tried.
Angela Montenegro: Smart boy.

What is she? A midget stripper?

What? I clicked on a pop-up and got caught in a Pornado.

Dr. Clark Edison: Nice cell.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's not much, but we call it home.
Angela Montenegro: We're thinking of redoing the kitchen.

Jack Hodgins: I wouldn't have been able to give this beautiful artist the victim's description without his daughter's visionary help
Angela Montenegro: You really think I'm beautiful, Doc?
Jack Hodgins: The Golden Ratio is hard to argue with, Miss Montenegro

Jack Hodgins: Doing all right there, Dr. B? You look like something is bothering you
Camille Saroyan: Which is reasonable, reconsidering she's about to stick her hands in the body stew
Temperance Brennan: Well, I feel as if imbalance of the serotonin levels have affected my neurotransmitters. Probably caused by the fact that today is Sweets' birthday. Whatever tool was used to fell the tree, caused significant damage to the skull
Jack Hodgins: Oh, man! Sweets
Camille Saroyan: He would have been what?
Temperance Brennan: 30
Jack Hodgins: He didn't even make it to 30?

Arastoo Vaziri: What is it, Dr. Hodgins?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You're a political exile. That is so cool.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In a terrible, terrible way. Of course.
Arastoo Vaziri: Of course.

Dr. Oliver Wells: The first law of thermo dynamics states that energy is neither create nor destroyed. So, when we die, all that energy has to go somewhere, right? I believe that if we die with an abundance of this power, it can become forever imprinted on the immediate environment.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: And that imprint? That's our ghost?
Dr. Oliver Wells: Mm-hmmm.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Can we keep him?

I am gonna burn the crap outta your mouth, and you are gonna love it!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, it's all yours, Mr. Vaziri
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Is it me or did it just get totally awkward in here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's probably the perplexing nature of the remains
Angela Montenegro: Eh, no! Actually, I think it was the "Mr. Vaziri". What's going on here?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Uh, a murder case. So if we could focus on the task at hand. The skull is all yours, Mr... Arastoo
Arastoo Vaziri: Thank you
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is something happening that I don't understand?
Angela Montenegro: Yes!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd posit that the chipped teeth suggest that a tube or funnel was forced down the victim's throat.
Colin Fisher: To fill him up with alcohol. Bastard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I beg your pardon?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fisher's just starting to realize that murderers are bad.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: This is unbelievable; This is the third time I've been a murder suspect. It makes me want to kill someone so you don't waste your time.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was a joke. I'm joking.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, she had to have lived someplace where she could have inhaled bat guano. Man, excrement is our friend on this one. Okay, if I cross reference bat caves...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I actually just said bat caves.

Jack Hodgins: Like looking for a prize at the bottom of a cereal box
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Apparently, you and I eat different kinds of cereal
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I putting my money on the mafia. The way the body was hacked up, very organized crimey
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Your speculation is a waste of my time, agent Aubrey
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Right, we'll cancel the mafia thing for now
Jack Hodgins: So much for pineapple being my least favorite topping

Jack Hodgins: Aubrey! Good to see you! How're you feeling this morning?
James Aubrey: To be honest, about like our victim
Jack Hodgins: Hey, don't blame me! I just mixed the drinks, you're the one that downed a dozen of them

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. So. We couldn't get to the remains from the lower floors, so I finally get to use my super winch!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh hey, bug boy uses a new toy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm not gonna let your cold, dark heart ruin my lucky day. Alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Luck has nothing to do with it, Dr. Hodgins. But, I imagine there are easier ways to look at the remains.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, you guys are a couple of real downers. But, you're too late!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: I know you love to invent things, Dr. Hodgins, but you do not have permission to do that here. Confine that aspect of your life to your home, please. Is that clear?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sure. Sure. So you came to tell me something?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ah, yes. We have to dig remains out of an industrial shredder.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, good! I thought it was going to be something bad!

Jack Hodgins: Wow, somebody got their hands on a world-class incendiary device
Camille Saroyan: Well, whoever it was, he really wanted to get rid of this van
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I had one of my people run the VIN. It was stolen from a mall in Baltimore this morning
Jack Hodgins: Your people?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I delegated. That's how I get things done

Dr. Benjamin Metzger: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I'm looking for Angela Montenegro.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I'm her husband. Who are you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Whoever you are, this is not a good time for a massage or a strip tease or whatever societal function you may perform.

Seeley Booth: What's with the demon eyes?
Jack Hodgins: Michael Vincent, he flushed my lenses, so these are all I had
Seeley Booth: Right, I mean, of course you have demon prescription lenses. Right?
Jack Hodgins: You don't?
Camille Saroyan: Just change them up as soon as you can, okay, Beelzebub?

Jack Hodgins: I don't think that he was shot with these guns
Camille Saroyan: You've determined that already?
Jack Hodgins: Thanks to Parasteatoda Tepidariorum
Camille Saroyan: Hmm, what is that?
Jack Hodgins: They're spiders, Cam
Camille Saroyan: Oh God! How about a warning for us non-Latin speakers next time? Careful with that in my office!

Temperance Brennan: Dr. Hodgins, you're here earlier than usual
Jack Hodgins: What? Oh, wait! Don't tell me it's morning already. Angela is going to kill me!

Zack Addy: Epiphyseal union with the diaphysis on the wrists, knees and ankles suggests the was between 14 and 18 years old. 1.6 meters tall, a very slight build suggesting that he was at the younger end of the scale.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That tracks with the bag. The degraded cellulose we found is a graphic novel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a comic book.
Zack Addy: I never read comic books.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really? Oh, I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut.
Zack Addy: The face and cranial vault are badly fractured. Blows to the parietal have sent radiating fracture lines between the mid-frontal and anterior temple buttresses.
Zack Addy: Why?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica...

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. So are we all, except for Angela.
Angela Montenegro: Oh right. Yet who do

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm doing the fecal floatation right, now.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, don't get to say that a lot.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm doing the fecal floatation right, now.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, don't get to say that a lot.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Zack, place some garlic around the remains and chant the Hmong ritual for the preservation of souls.
Zack Addy: Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is going to be a long case.

Angela Montenegro: Just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What are you, Canadian?

Dr. Lance Sweets: ...for now, temporarily, I'm satisfied with your coping technique.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: My... coping technique... of -hate-?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Correct!

Dr. Lance Sweets: Wait... What if he... look I don't know what if he overpowers me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Zack?
Dr. Zack Addy: I'm much stronger than I look.
Dr. Lance Sweets: He's done it before. He killed a man.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Zack, promise you're not gonna kill Sweet.
Dr. Zack Addy: I promise.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: There you go.
Dr. Zack Addy: Yeah.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [slight chuckle] There you go.

Special Agent Payton Perotta: Hmmm. My people were right.
Dr. Camille Saroyan, Caroline Julian: YOUR people?
Dr. Jack Hodgins, Wendell Bray: We're Booth's people.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: This is a sad day for all of us, but I think it's important that we remember what we loved about Hank, you know? His sense of humor, of course. He was always quick with a joke, good or bad. Usually bad. But he-
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, my God! Uuuuh-oh, my God, Hank. Ah- Hank is- Hank-Hank is-He's leaving us. Where is he going from here? Who knows?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wendell, my man, we still on for lunch?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You are discussing lunch while holding a tray of cat excrament.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Everybody poops. They even wrote a book about it.

Colin Fisher: You and your particulates always ruining the day for me.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, look, I'm going to go relieve Sweets. Just -if anyone asks, tell them I'm defligisterizing tachymosis franklangellum.
Colin Fisher: Is that a real thing or are you trying to be funny?... Cause that didn't sound real - at all.

Finn Abernathy: What is that? Gold?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Looks like a...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fleur de lis. The sign of the Priory of Scion, a secret society that defies papal authority.
Angela Montenegro: Honey, honey. That's the nib of a fountain pen.
Finn Abernathy: He was stabbed in the neck with a fountain pen?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, or assassinated by the pope!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Or stabbed in the neck with a fountain pen.

Arastoo Vaziri: As I was saying, nunchakus are deceptively difficult to maneuver, if you've had no practice... May I?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. Knock yourself out. I did.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You didn't have to give me a lift. I have a car.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You saw someone die, Sweets. You don't just go on with your day after something like that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Right, of course. I was just... you know, I thought, if I could help other people...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes. But well sometimes you can't.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: For smart people like Hannah and me, not being jazzed is physically painful.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. You're saying that Hannah does extra work because she's bored at home?
Dr. Lance Sweets: ...No. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I-I'm an exciting guy. I, for example, I'm making dinner for her tonight - with wine.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You just decided that now, didn't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you're not the cause of her ennui, then it stands to reason you cannot make her happy. It's standard first order logic.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Done. I sifted through all 1873 gallons of it. Nothing but the usual: ant torsos, spider legs, rodent hairs.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Whoa. That's the usual?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. FDA permits 60 insect fragments, and 1 rodent tail per 100 grams.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Lovely.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because at exactly 6:45 PM, I am exiting this building to observe Valentine's Day with Paul.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, what if the murder isn't solved?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: People there is death in this world and there is romance. Today - death is the loser and romance wins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What about justice?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Now look, you can - you can attack me with dogs, okay? You can burn me with a branding iron. Hell, you can make me listen to a musical. I don't care! But we are not naming our child Staccato Mamba.
Angela's Dad: You know what you're doing here, right?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You have a child named Staccato Mamba. We'll have Michael Joseph if it's a boy or Katherine Temperance if it's a girl.

Vincent Nigel-Murray: And you found a goat tethered to a state.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Chupacabra means goat sucker.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So for cause of death, you want me to put down - goat sucker?

Walter Sherman: Are you rich?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey! Where did that come from?
Walter Sherman: On a scale of 1 to 10 - she's an 11.
Angela Montenegro: Well, thank you, Mr. Sherman.
Walter Sherman: Yet, you're a 7. So if you're rich. It just explains the discrepancy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Look, all I'm saying is that John Wilkes Booth was secretly a member of the Knights of the Golden Circle - affiliated with Rome.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, a little friendly advice: do not mention Booth to Booth. They are related. He will shoot you.