Bones Quotes

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are you gonna arrest me for assault?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: From what I saw, purely self-defense.

Nothing in this universe happens just once. Infinity goes in both directions. There is no unique event, no singular moment.

Please press the thumbs up button. I find imbeciles amusing."

Dr. Daniel Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are going.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: When we arrive, the donors will all be wearing name tags.
Zack Addy: What do we talk about?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Your work, of course.
Angela Montenegro: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: And how do you see your job?
Angela Montenegro: I draw death masks.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?
Angela Montenegro: Don't you?
Dr. Daniel Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces, their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What happened?
Zack Addy: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Debris embedded in the remains suggests an explosion.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So does that giant hole in the wall.

We're not blue fish.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're amazing, you know that?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes.

Zack Addy: Sometime, when you're not busy, I wonder if I could ask you a few questions about sexual positions?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: If you even try, I will take out my gun and shoot you between the eyes.

Angela Montenegro: Okay, you people, listen to me. There is a party going on upstairs. A Christmas party. We're going up there. We're gonna talk to some people, we're gonna sing some carols, we're gonna drink some eggnog.
Angela Montenegro: You are going to kiss me under the mistletoe. On the lips.
Angela Montenegro: I might kiss you guys under the mistletoe, too.
Angela Montenegro: And maybe even you. In a festive, non-lesbian manner. But we are going to that party.

My therapist is going to be pissed.

You know what you people lack? Whimsy. It's a genuine handicap.

Talk to me squints, as close to English as possible.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: There's a phrase in ancient Greek burned into the back of the vault door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, what's it say?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I don't know, it's in ancient Greek.

Angela Montenegro: Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions.
Angela Montenegro: And him.

Angela Montenegro: I never knew you sailed.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I was a rich kid, ya know? We had to sail and have at least one girlfriend named Muffy. It's in the charter.

Temperance Brennan: Are you aware that turkeys do a dance when they are reunited with a person they recognize?
Seeley Booth: Dance? That's great, Bones, but I guarantee you that they don't dance as good as they taste.

Look how far north the expedition site is, right? Even Santa Claus wouldn't travel that far north.

Bones, let's wait until she puts down that big chainsaw before we accuse her of murder.

She has enough pent-up sexual energy to power a small Midwestern city.

Zack Addy: You're supposed to bang your fist against mine.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Zack Addy: I'm told it's a widely accepted gesture for mutual success...
Angela Montenegro: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.

Liars! You just wanted to see what happens when you toss a frozen pig into a wood-chipper.

I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Are you pregnant?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I'm not.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why are you looking at me?

What is she? A midget stripper?

What? I clicked on a pop-up and got caught in a Pornado.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: I stand by my diagnosis.
Angela Montenegro: You stand by the FBI. Your first priority is to get Agents back in the field solving murders.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Your romanticism is endearing but as the bard says "Lovers and madmen have such seething brains, such shaping fantasies that apprehend more than cool reason could comprehend."
Angela Montenegro: He also says "Journeys end in lovers meeting every wise man's son doth know."

Live by the bone, die by the bone.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Can I offer you a little insight into Booth's little brother?
Dr. Clark Edison: Oh God, why am I always standing in precisely the wrong place?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I didn't have sex with him, Cam.
Angela Montenegro: Didn't have sex with who?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Jared Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Good.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Good? Why good?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because... because...
Angela Montenegro: Because he's Booth's little brother. And it would just be a creepy way to have sex with a Booth without having sex with the real Booth.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Kudos Angela. I would not have had the guts to say that out loud.

Dr. Clark Edison: Nice cell.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's not much, but we call it home.
Angela Montenegro: We're thinking of redoing the kitchen.

Wendell Bray: Still I mean you crying, I would've loved to have seen that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why?
Angela Montenegro: Sort of like an eclipse. It doesn't happen that often.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well Booth took a picture of me, but since I have a picture of him cooking an omlete naked, he agreed never to show it to anyone.
Wendell Bray: Smart move.
Angela Montenegro: What? I'm sorry. Naked? Wow! Okay, listen. I am your best friend, honey, so - I think I should take a peek at that.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Tell him... tell him... tell him that we get points against us at daycare if we change Michael's schedule at the last minute - and if we get any more we may lose his spot.
Angela Montenegro: Wow. That's good. Are you that good when you lie to me?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: How would I know? I've never tried.
Angela Montenegro: Smart boy.

Angela Montenegro: Ya know, I hope Cam is happy. If she had just kept things to herself, we wouldn't be in this position.
Caroline Julian: Angela! You listen to me on this subject! All of us did what Pelant expected, *except* for Cam. Because of her, you squints are all still in this, which Pelant fears above all else. As long as the Jeffersonian stays in the game, the good guys live to fight another day. My opinion? Cam Saroyan is the hero of this story so far. You hear what I'm sayin', chere?

Oh, well, I- You know, I missed you, so I... was reading some of your books. They're thick. They're, they're really... They're heavy.

Okay. Listen. Psychology and anthropology. I liked it better when you two were fighting!

Come to his assistance, all ye saints of God. Meet him, all ye angels of the Lord, receiving his soul, presenting it in the sight of God Almighty. Amen. That's a battle field prayer, but I'm mostly a soldier, so... it seems to fit.

Sayonara. I don't even like feet... when they're not falling off. So, when you get a face, you get back to me, okay?

Angela Montenegro: Hey, how is the honeymoon going?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Very well, thank you. We've been enjoying sex very much
Angela Montenegro: Good, good, I am glad you're taking some time off! Don't worry about Christine either by the way. Her an Michael Vincent are getting along great
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Thank you for taking care of her, Angela
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, anything to help you take a vacation...
Angela Montenegro: in what looks like a morgue?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is Dr. Letitia Perez, the coroner here at the Buenos Aires morgue. She'll be assisting me in this investigation
Angela Montenegro: Hi, hi, it's nice to meet you!
Angela Montenegro: HELP!
Dr. Leticia Perez: I am not assisting Dr. Brennan, she is consulting for me
Angela Montenegro: Hm, good luck with that!
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What's going on?
Angela Montenegro: Look at this!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr Brennan, you're on your honeymoon! Why are you in a morgue?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That's not romantic!

Jack Hodgins: I wouldn't have been able to give this beautiful artist the victim's description without his daughter's visionary help
Angela Montenegro: You really think I'm beautiful, Doc?
Jack Hodgins: The Golden Ratio is hard to argue with, Miss Montenegro

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Based on the large ovoid obturator foramen, the victim was a male. The fine texture of the pubic surfaces indicates an age range of mid-to-late 30s.
Wendell Bray: The parabolic dental arch suggests Caucasian.
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, and the giant metal plate in his head suggests a cyborg.

James Aubrey: As you can imagine I've quite a few questions to ask you
Zack Addy: No! I would prefer to only speak with Dr. Brennan. Communicating with someone of lesser intellect is difficult for me
James Aubrey: No offense taken

Come on, Bones, this is a big one. You're turning 40. You're flipping the old odometer.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: When the FBI gets stuck, we call in the squints.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Squints?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, you squint at things.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh, you mean people with high IQ's and basic reasoning skill?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Do you realize when we go to trial he could use the insanity defense.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The guy is nuts.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes, but is he nuts because he got a brain disease from eating human flesh, or was he already nuts the first time he ate flesh, or did he just lick his fingers after surgery?

Mr. Taylor: Some iniquity killed my boy. You know that word, Agent Booth? It's from the Bible.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Deliver me from the workers of iniquity, and save me from bloody men.
Mr. Taylor: You know your Psalms.

Special Agent Tricia Finn: Agent Booth, can I have a moment, please? Um, have I done something to offend you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I'm not really into this whole "West Coast In Touch With Your Feelings" thing, okay? So...
Special Agent Tricia Finn: Yeah. Um, I'm really good at my job, and I've been nothing but cooperative and helpful to you, but you just freeze me out.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Mmm-hmm.
Special Agent Tricia Finn: And I know you have nothing against working with women because you're partners with Dr. Brennan, so your problem must be with me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, I don't have anything against you, Agent Finn. I just don't like the way you view the FBI.
Special Agent Tricia Finn: What do you mean?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: This is a proud and noble job but you're using it to get to something else. My advice? Write your script, get an agent, hell, have a little plastic surgery! But quit using my Federal Bureau of Investigation as a stepping stone into something that you think is better. Because in my book, there is nothing better.

Agent Pickering: Didn't I see you on television this morning, Dr. Brennan?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How could I possibly know what you watched on television?

Zack Addy: Epiphyseal union with the diaphysis on the wrists, knees and ankles suggests the was between 14 and 18 years old. 1.6 meters tall, a very slight build suggesting that he was at the younger end of the scale.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That tracks with the bag. The degraded cellulose we found is a graphic novel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A what?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a comic book.
Zack Addy: I never read comic books.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really? Oh, I had you pegged for a graphic novel nut.
Zack Addy: The face and cranial vault are badly fractured. Blows to the parietal have sent radiating fracture lines between the mid-frontal and anterior temple buttresses.
Zack Addy: Why?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Galactica...

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You put a hit out on my partner?
Gang Leader: She's not FBI.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I never said anything about FBI. She's my partner, and if anything happens to her I will find you and I will kill you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I won't think twice. Look at my eyes, look at my face... if anything happens to her, I will kill you. This is between you and me, nobody sees, nobody knows. You've got nothing to prove. You understand? You understand?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I thought so. Now if you don't mind I'll leave first because I have somewhere I have to be.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm doing the fecal floatation right, now.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, don't get to say that a lot.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm doing the fecal floatation right, now.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, don't get to say that a lot.

You know "Treasure of the Sierra Madre" but you don't know Charlize Theron? You know who you are? You're my grandmother.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Are Rangers afraid of SEALs?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? Come on, Bones. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Rangers aren't afraid of anybody. All right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: SEALs are pretty good though.

FBI Deputy Director Sam Cullen: I should kick your ass.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah.
FBI Deputy Director Sam Cullen: What did you do? Take sick time to work on this?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Migraine.
FBI Deputy Director Sam Cullen: Thanks, Booth. Catch the son-of-a-bitch who did this to my daughter.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's absolutely my intention, sir.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's never just one person who dies, Bones. Never. Never.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, we all die a little bit, Bones. With each shot, we all die a little bit.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The NCIC database? That's... that's criminals! My parents were on a list of federal offenders?
Russ Brennan: How do you like that? Guess a criminal nature runs in the family.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You were seven years old, Russ. Old enough to remember. What... what is your real name? What is my real name?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, it's right here in the file.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! No! I want him to tell me!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What is my real name, Russ?
Russ Brennan: My name was Kyle. Your name was Joy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You are not my brother!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! He lied about that! What else are you lying about? What else are you not telling us?

Lisa Supac: It's 10 years or nothing. I can only work with what I'm given, and the forensic work on this was not good enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Lisa Supac: You were fooled by fake dental records, you baked some spam.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What did you want us to do?
Lisa Supac: Your jobs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supac, you want us to do your job. My people gave you all the evidence you need to fry Turko with any reasonable jury.
Lisa Supac: Forensically...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We gave you everything you needed to arrest Turko.
Lisa Supac: Arrest is not a conviction.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We definitely gave you enough to reject his plea bargain and indict him in the wrongful death of a Senator.
Lisa Supac: Indictment is not a conviction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You accept that plea bargain and the investigation stops.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Indict him. Give us time to get you what you need.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If you accept this plea bargain, you don't deserve to be a Federal Prosecutor.
Lisa Supac: Dr. Saroyan!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, it's scary. The whole country'll be watching the trial and you don't want to go in with less than a sure thing. But you put my people on the stand as expert witnesses and that's a sure thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Dr. Jack Hodgins, Angela Montenegro: Not Zack.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You can tell the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided, and if you any ability as a prosecutor you'll win the case.
Lisa Supac: Are you finished?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supac. In the future when you have problems with my team, you'll register them with me, in private, not by grand standing in a public forum.

Lisa Supac: It's 10 years or nothing. I can only work with what I'm given, and the forensic work on this was not good enough.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What?
Lisa Supac: You were fooled by fake dental records, you baked some spam.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What did you want us to do?
Lisa Supac: Your jobs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supac, you want us to do your job. My people gave you all the evidence you need to fry Turko with any reasonable jury.
Lisa Supac: Forensically...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We gave you everything you needed to arrest Turko.
Lisa Supac: Arrest is not a conviction.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: We definitely gave you enough to reject his plea bargain and indict him in the wrongful death of a Senator.
Lisa Supac: Indictment is not a conviction.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You accept that plea bargain and the investigation stops.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Indict him. Give us time to get you what you need.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If you accept this plea bargain, you don't deserve to be a Federal Prosecutor.
Lisa Supac: Dr. Saroyan!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah, it's scary. The whole country'll be watching the trial and you don't want to go in with less than a sure thing. But you put my people on the stand as expert witnesses and that's a sure thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan, Dr. Jack Hodgins, Angela Montenegro: Not Zack.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You can tell the story of what happened using the evidence these people provided, and if you any ability as a prosecutor you'll win the case.
Lisa Supac: Are you finished?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, Ms. Supac. In the future when you have problems with my team, you'll register them with me, in private, not by grand standing in a public forum.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Booth, if Dr. Brennan were to quit...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: If she were to leave the Jeffersonian...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, the squints would flee this institution like the French army.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And you?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, I do as I'm ordered.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, you don't, Seeley.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay, here we go. What's going on, Camille?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What if I fired her? What would you do?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm with Bones, Cam. All the way. Don't doubt it for a second.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I got something for you.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: A bottle of hard liquor?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Next best thing.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Meet Jasper.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You're gonna be okay.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yeah?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Definitely.

Zack Addy: And, I know you requested a strainer of some sort, Dr. Brennan, but I thought this would be of some use.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: For the big pieces maybe.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: After that, Old McZacky, get on the horn with the coroner's office and tell them I want two field unit water sifters sent here ASAP.
Zack Addy: They get mad went I drop your name.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Then drop it twice.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Oh my god! I completely forgot you can't be here, Booth. You're a degenerate gambler.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Former gambler, okay? Not degenerate. I've been through the program, okay? And you know, he's on the move!
Dr. Temperance Brennan: What if you get a sudden urge to gamble while you're here? It's like sending an alcoholic to a distillery. Do you need to sit down?

Dr. Temperance Brennan: If we're less than 4 feet below the surface, this should blow us out.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: And if we're more than 4 feet below the surface?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Then the concussion will turn our brains to jelly.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, good, then we can run for Congress. So it's a win-win.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Zack, place some garlic around the remains and chant the Hmong ritual for the preservation of souls.
Zack Addy: Really?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: This is going to be a long case.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: I wish you wouldn't keep letting me hug you when I get scared.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hey, when I get scared, I'll hug *you*. We'll call it even.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [after Bones pulls out her gun] You know, I could have the Bureau pull your license.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yeah, and I could assign Zack as your forensic Anthropologist.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I slept with Sully last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I thought you already...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. Last night.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, it's really none of my business.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Except that we're partners.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, there's that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And you told me about your socks.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, sex, socks, they're pretty much the same word.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: Yes. This is Dr. Brennan at the Jeffersonian. I just received a call from Agent Booth that he's being held at
Dr. Temperance Brennan: the Purdue Airfield in Oakville, Virginia. Send back up. I'm going in.
Angela Montenegro: You just lied your ass off to the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: That is so hot.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow! You look great!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You said I looked good before!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whose day is it, huh? It's Angela's. C'mon, let's go.

FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Here we are, all of us, basically alone, separate creatures, just circling each other, all searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places, some they just give up hope because in their mind they're thinking "Oh there's nobody out there for me," but all of us, we keep trying over and over again. Why? Because every once in a while... every once in a while, two people meet and there's that spark, and yes, Bones, he's handsome and she's beautiful and maybe that's all they see at first, but making love... making love... that's when two people become one.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, Bones - a miracle.

Dr. Lance Sweets: There is clearly a very deep emotional bond between you two.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're just partners.
Dr. Lance Sweets: And why do you think I would have thought otherwise?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Cause, you're 12.

Angela Montenegro: Just remind him of who I am and ask him politely.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What are you, Canadian?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: And I'm changing my password.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: Daisy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How did you know?
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: It's your second favorite flower. I know you, Bones. Try a planet.
FBI Special Agent Seeley Booth: JUPITER!

Angela Montenegro: One year book-Foothill High, 1987.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Check; dehydrate and scan.
Angela Montenegro: "Have a great summer, don't ever change." Remember those days?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I remember getting grounded every weekend, so many rules to break, so little time.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You were a nerd fantasy.
Angela Montenegro: I was all about Barbie.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: She was my first anatomy lesson, I was confused for years.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: What about Ken, I felt so sorry for him.

Ray Porter: How stupid do you think I am?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: At the moment, very, very stupid.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It was like kissing my brother.
Caroline Julian: You sure must like your brother.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: She does.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You're a smart girl. Why didn't you wear a condom?
Justine Berry: I do... most of the time.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You know what I made a mistake. She is not a smart girl. This is a terrible university.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tax shelter? Exactly how loaded are you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well *that* is an offensive way to phrase the question, but... quite loaded. I'm betting a seven figure advance for my next book.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Seven figures? Wow! Without the decimal point?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: The publisher makes considerably more.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What's the first of those seven figures?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A prime number. What do you do with your money?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Use it for food, rent.

AUSA Caroline Julian: Have you no control over these people?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: None what-so-ever.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look, Caroline, it's Bones! It's different. Let's just admit it!
AUSA Caroline Julian: Here's what's not different.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Lose the "Cocky" belt buckle.
AUSA Caroline Julian: No badges saying "Resist Authority" or "The Truth is Out There."
AUSA Caroline Julian: Do not cut your own hair the day before the trial.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Ugly up a little. The plain women on the jury hate you.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Use your fully grown up words.
AUSA Caroline Julian: Eat! Last time your stomach was growling louder than your testimony.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hey, break down the door.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: It hurts my shoulder when I break down the door.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You think I don't recognize an experiment when I see one? You experimented on us!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Beg you pardon?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not telling me Booth was alive, you wanted to quantify our reactions for your research. You took advantage of us. Booth and I agreed to let you observe us. We did not agree to be used as lab rats. So you better cut it out!
Dr. Lance Sweets: Dr. Brennan why are you talking so fast?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because if Booth hears why you did what you did, he'd beat you up.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't you think that would be an overly aggressive act?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Not at all. So you better not do it again!

Bones, two guys at the same time, it's not right! I mean, that's why they invented dueling.

Dr. Lance Sweets: ...for now, temporarily, I'm satisfied with your coping technique.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: My... coping technique... of -hate-?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Correct!

Dr. Lance Sweets: Wait... What if he... look I don't know what if he overpowers me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Zack?
Dr. Zack Addy: I'm much stronger than I look.
Dr. Lance Sweets: He's done it before. He killed a man.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay. Zack, promise you're not gonna kill Sweet.
Dr. Zack Addy: I promise.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: There you go.
Dr. Zack Addy: Yeah.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [slight chuckle] There you go.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. You are not gonna believe this.
Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, try toppin' death by office supplies.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I was wrackin' my brain over the trace analysis from the sweater. Phlofurol proteolythic enzyme, tryoral methane dye...
Agent Seeley Booth: Hodgins. Hodgins. Hodgins. Eyes are glazing over.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It's a Blue Hawaiian.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's a Blue Hawaiian?
Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it's a potent cocktail. Two of those puppies and you're asking yourself, hey, why am I naked and who are all these people?

Ryan Stephenson: One of God's challenges to us is to see past the surface.
Ryan Stephenson: To the deeper essential nature, which lies right beneath.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You believe our bodies are like dustcovers?
Ryan Stephenson: That's exactly what I think, Agent Booth. Rip them off, and see what's underneath... You see, all this time I though my father was killed, or had abandoned me, and that's just not what happened. He didn't want to shake my faith. He was protecting me from the truth. He... he didn't want me to have to choose between him and God, and I love my father for that. I just hope God can forgive me for making him feel that way.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Seeing Bones wearing glasses] Right. What I want you to do is take off your glasses, shake out your hair and say "Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?"
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Never mind.

Max Keenan: Can I ask you a question?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure.
Max Keenan: You - are you - uh are you sleeping with my daughter?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Max Keenan: Why? Are you gay?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Max Keenan: She not attractive enough?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones is beautiful.
Max Keenan: Is it because of me. Because I killed one man and we both know he deserved it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: All right just cut it out, Max. I'll talk to her. Probably won't do any good. I'll talk to her.
Max Keenan: You're a good man. And I want that for her.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Um, can I offer a piece of advice?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well that's why we called you, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Don't try too hard to be their friends. Act like you're more interested in each other than any of them, all right? They will come to you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, thanks Sweets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So, uh, sex right?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Oh good idea.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, well, I think what we need to do is get a syncopated rhythm going that takes advantage of the natural frequency of the springs.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Are you this spontaneous during real sex?

Special Agent Payton Perotta: Hmmm. My people were right.
Dr. Camille Saroyan, Caroline Julian: YOUR people?
Dr. Jack Hodgins, Wendell Bray: We're Booth's people.

Angela Montenegro: Listen to me Brennan. Somebody you love is buried alive! You're allowed to save them no matter how irrational.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I don't love Booth.
Angela Montenegro: Yes you do. So do I. So do all of us. Just take my advice and hand over the evidence and get Booth.

Special Agent Payton Perotta: How are you, Agent Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The only reason that I am not comin' in right now is because Bones told me not to. But she's your responsibility, nothing can happen to her, okay? If anything happens... to her... y'know that silky black hair, soft skin...
Special Agent Payton Perotta: ...I... will not let her out of my sight, you have my word. Now, uh, we should really get back to the case, Agent Booth.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Am I stopping you?

Chet Newcomb: It was an accident?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, he was
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: What's the sensitive way to say murdered?
Chet Newcomb: Murdered?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sorry, but when you're ready, we'd like to ask you a few questions about your brother's...
Chet Newcomb: Murder.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: We're sorry for your loss.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: We know people through our feelings, Dr. Breenan. You trust Booth because of what you feel.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. I trust Booth because of past actions.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: And faith in the future. I'm sorry but feelings are important, even to you.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: FIRE IN THE HOLE!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What the hell was that?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: We're okay. Everything's okay.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We should get out of here before lock down. Let Cam deal with it.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. All right.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You know you're grounded, right?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Look Bones, you can't go around telling everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth. Okay? What if we were going out, right? And you were, you know, taking forever to get ready. You come out in this dress, and I told you I didn't like it. What are you gonna do?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd reevaluate. Change or ignore you.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Of course you would Bones. Good answer.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets... has scars on his back. Old one.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Really?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What kind of scars?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Like he'd been whipped.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whipped?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I saw them.
Dr. Gordon Wyatt: That explains his near obsession with your childhood trauma.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: This is a sad day for all of us, but I think it's important that we remember what we loved about Hank, you know? His sense of humor, of course. He was always quick with a joke, good or bad. Usually bad. But he-
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, my God! Uuuuh-oh, my God, Hank. Ah- Hank is- Hank-Hank is-He's leaving us. Where is he going from here? Who knows?

Ken Nakamura: Most of the FBI Agents showed up and started telling us how to handle our organized crime problem. Booth said nothing. Two, three days, just listening.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was quiet? That
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: that does not sound like Booth.
Ken Nakamura: Then he asked a question. He asked "How would you gentlemen handle our organized crime problem?" He was respectful.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That is the basis of your friendship?
Ken Nakamura: That and the situation incited by a gallon of Sake on a police boat at Uruaga Harbor at dawn.

Well, they gave me medication. So I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel, all the time.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wendell, my man, we still on for lunch?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: You are discussing lunch while holding a tray of cat excrament.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Everybody poops. They even wrote a book about it.

Dr. Clark Edison: Well, is it all right if I get a drink of water, boss? You know, uh, it's awful hot out there, and them tools is mighty heavy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course you can get water. Why are you talking like that?
Dr. Clark Edison: Never mind. I'm going.

Parker Booth: Couldn't you be his girlfriend?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Buddy, you're gonna have to quit that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That would be inappropriate.
Parker Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Because... we work together.
Parker Booth: That's a stupid reason.

Dr. Lance Sweets: I'd consider it a personal favor, Dr. Brennan.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ouch. Personal favors are kind of like penalty shots. You kind of have to take them. Unlike dinner requests which you are totally open to decline.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Everything okay there, Bones? I know when there's something wrong with you. Something's wrong, right? What can I do to help?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Angela and I had a fight.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Nothing I can do to help!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You want to hear about it?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Why not?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why? Because her and Angela are best friends. And Bones is gonna want me to take her side and agree that Angela was wrong. And then you know, the two of them are going to make up and then they're going to get mad at me. So no thank you.

Dr. Gordon Wyatt: Sometimes you have to help people against their wishes.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I can't think of anything I wouldn't do to help him.

Hank: You should go on a gameshow. You'd clean up.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I tell her that *all the time*. But you know, she's already loaded.
Hank: She's got talent, charm, beauty, money. And you're just friends?... I didn't raise you very well.

Colin Fisher: You and your particulates always ruining the day for me.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay, look, I'm going to go relieve Sweets. Just -if anyone asks, tell them I'm defligisterizing tachymosis franklangellum.
Colin Fisher: Is that a real thing or are you trying to be funny?... Cause that didn't sound real - at all.

Angela Montenegro: Are we experimenting on Booth? Because if so, I'd like to help out.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Make fun of the naked guy. Knock yourself out.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, I won't say anything about the scream, if you don't say anything about the gun.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Those terms are satisfactory.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: And if he was killed by two gunmen, then the government lied. They covered it up.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Throughout history, governments have lied with impunity to other governments and to their own citizens. Booth, does - does this have anything to do with the fact that your ancestor was a - a famous assasin?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: John Wilkes Booth, who killed President Lincoln.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You promised you would never mention that. You said that to me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You told me not to. I never promised. I promise now. I promise now!

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes. So are we all, except for Angela.
Angela Montenegro: Oh right. Yet who do

Arastoo Vaziri: As I was saying, nunchakus are deceptively difficult to maneuver, if you've had no practice... May I?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. Knock yourself out. I did.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You didn't have to give me a lift. I have a car.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You saw someone die, Sweets. You don't just go on with your day after something like that.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Right, of course. I was just... you know, I thought, if I could help other people...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yes. But well sometimes you can't.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm the gambler. I believe in giving this a chance. Look, I want to give this a shot.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You mean us? No. The FBI won't let us work together.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Don't do that! That is no reason.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You - you thought you were protecting me. But you're the one who needs protecting.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Protection from what?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: From me. I don't have your kind of open heart.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: She's easily as pretty as I am. I mean... using me as a standard.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones, you are the standard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Andrew is not as handsome as you. Using you as a standard. He is, however, taller. Catherine isn't as smart as I am.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, I'm not as smart as Hacker.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, you once said he's a doofus.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He is a doofus, smart doofus.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I just think - maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I'm involved with, all the relationships. They complicate logical thought.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You don't mean that.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Could we please just work?

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Listen Bones, you gotta be really careful in that Indonesian jungle, okay?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth, in a week, you're going to a war zone. Please don't be a hero. Please just... don't be you.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Why do we only solve crimes when we have a dead body?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Seriously? Because I'm a pathologist, and
Dr. Camille Saroyan: she's a forensic anthropologist. Fresh dead. Long time dead.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find it anomalous that you would leave her since you believe so emphatically in the mythic powers of love.
Gary Nesbitt: Do you understand what she's saying?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just nod.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I find it anomalous that you would leave her since you believe so emphatically in the mythic powers of love.
Gary Nesbitt: Do you understand what she's saying?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Just nod.

Terror: You know, you're real bad with a gun and a badge, but you won't always be on duty.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. I don't know what you're saying. What don't you spell it out for me.
Terror: I mean, watch your back.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh no... You - you shouldn't threaten Agent Booth. He can be very male.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: [Booth removes his coat and gun. And gives them to Bones] I don't like walking round looking over my shoulder. So what do you say we do this right now.

We see big stars, tiny atoms, too, because that is what scientists do! We get the facts, and say what's true, because that is what scientists do! We use our minds, embrace what's new, because that is what scientists do!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: For smart people like Hannah and me, not being jazzed is physically painful.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Whoa. Whoa. You're saying that Hannah does extra work because she's bored at home?
Dr. Lance Sweets: ...No. No.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I-I'm an exciting guy. I, for example, I'm making dinner for her tonight - with wine.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You just decided that now, didn't you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: If you're not the cause of her ennui, then it stands to reason you cannot make her happy. It's standard first order logic.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Can you sign this?
Dr. Lance Sweets: ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sign. Just sign and get back to your fun.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Done. I sifted through all 1873 gallons of it. Nothing but the usual: ant torsos, spider legs, rodent hairs.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Whoa. That's the usual?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah. FDA permits 60 insect fragments, and 1 rodent tail per 100 grams.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Lovely.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Parker could be angry because he senses how much Hannah means to you and feels that you don't want him to meet her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: But I do. I just want it to be right. I want it to be perfect time.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Right. Do you think there is such a thing?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I got the signal, Booth. I don't want to have any regrets.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Um, I'm with someone, Bones. And Hannah - she's not a consolation prize. I love her.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but those are the facts.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...I understand. I missed my chance. My whole world turned upside down. I can adjust.

Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, you know, if this is on your mind then you should tell Hannah.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Bones and Hannah are friends now. I mean, isn't that what secrets are for? Hey, maybe you could just give me something to make me stop feeling guilty.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, perhaps this is difficult because you still have feelings for Dr. Brennan.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? No. No. You know what? This was a bad idea. I'll talk to Hannah myself, okay?
Dr. Lance Sweets: All right.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Tell you what. Stop bringing up me and Bones, okay?
Dr. Lance Sweets: What are you doing? Why can't I turn this down? What did you do to this thing? Somebody. Somebody!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: What happened to you?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Caroline hollered at me.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, it means, Bones, that you know, you can love a lot of people in this world, but there's only one person you love the most.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But how do you know which person you love the most when you're confused by chemical messages travelling throughout your limbic system?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You just do.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...What if you let that person get away?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That person's not going anywhere.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: I mean you like evidence. All right, Bones. Well, here's the evidence. The evidence is that there's something wrong here. Now, I - I fell in love with a woman. I had a kid. She doesn't want to marry me. And - the next woman, she's...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Me.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah! And now- I mean, what is it with women who don't want what I'm offering here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. Just, you know what - drink. Drink. I'm just really- I'm just mad. I'm just really mad at all of you. I'm just mad, okay? So you want to know how this is going to work? Okay, this is how this is going to work. Me and you are partners that's what we do. Me and you we're partners. And I love that. I think that's great. And we're good people that catch bad people, right? And - and we argue. We go back-and-forth. We're partners and sometimes after we solve the case, we come here and celebrate. That's what we do, we celebrate. So as far as I can see, that's what happens next. Are you okay with that?... Great caus you know, if you are, you stay here and you have a drink with me, all right? Maybe we have a little small talk, a little chit chat. If not, well, you can leave, there's the door. And tomorrow, uh, I'll find you another FBI guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Those are my only choices?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah. Those are you only choices.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: ...Then I'll have a drink

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Because at exactly 6:45 PM, I am exiting this building to observe Valentine's Day with Paul.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Well, what if the murder isn't solved?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: People there is death in this world and there is romance. Today - death is the loser and romance wins.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: What about justice?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Now look, you can - you can attack me with dogs, okay? You can burn me with a branding iron. Hell, you can make me listen to a musical. I don't care! But we are not naming our child Staccato Mamba.
Angela's Dad: You know what you're doing here, right?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You have a child named Staccato Mamba. We'll have Michael Joseph if it's a boy or Katherine Temperance if it's a girl.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm... quite strong.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, well, you've always been strong.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You know the difference between stength and imperviousness, right?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, not if you're going to get all scientific on me.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, a substance that is impervious to damage doesn't need to be strong.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Hmm.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: When you and I met. I was an impervious substance. Now I'm a strong substance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I think I know what you mean.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: A time could come when you aren't angry any more and I'm strong enough to risk losing the last of my imperviosness. Maybe then we could try to be together.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: But come on, Bones. He's hurting, all right? Whether you're right or wrong, you levelled the guy.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's a grown man.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sometimes that makes it hurt more. What makes us human, Bones, is we feel compassion and regret.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Why is this so important to you, Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Because I know the kind of person you are. And I think you should let others in on the secret too.

Vincent Nigel-Murray: And you found a goat tethered to a state.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Chupacabra means goat sucker.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: So for cause of death, you want me to put down - goat sucker?

Walter Sherman: Are you rich?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Hey! Where did that come from?
Walter Sherman: On a scale of 1 to 10 - she's an 11.
Angela Montenegro: Well, thank you, Mr. Sherman.
Walter Sherman: Yet, you're a 7. So if you're rich. It just explains the discrepancy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Really.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You want the girl to cooperate, we need to make sure she feels comfortable - and secure.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know what I'm doing.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Do you remember being in Foster Care?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wasn't a potential murder suspect.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Nevertheless, you must remember how you were treated... How often did they even bother to learn your name? Every situation was way more frightening than it had to be because some supervisor was in a rush, right? I know I never wanted to cooperate. And I'm sure you didn't either.

Vincent Nigel-Murray: I... ple-please don't. Just don't make me go. I-I don't want to go. I love -it's been lovely. Being here with - with you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No! You can stay here as long as you like, Vincent. You're my favorite everyone knows that, right Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE PRESSURE ON.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, I don't Bones.

Dr. Temperance Brennan: They looked so happy.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, yeah. They had a baby.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Their whole lives have changed. You'd think they'd be a little more apprehensive.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Well, you know. Having a baby... that's a good thing.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: You really think that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, it's a great thing. Why... what?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, come on Bones. Look the baby... the baby's fine, it's healthy. They had a healthy baby. Alright? They love each other. This is the happiest day of their lives. Okay?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What?
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm...
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I'm pregnant. You're the father.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh God! Get it out of here! Oh God, I hate snakes!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Hodgins...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Somebody kill that thing!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You can come back to the lab. We discovered the warm place where the python was hiding.
Finn Abernathy: I gotta say, ma'am, this is the best damn job ever!

Dr. Lance Sweets: Booth that's not fair. You don't want me to have a gun. It's gonna affect my performance.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: That's the point. You want to have my back. If something like this rattles you, I can't trust you... So ready?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Let's Rock-n-Roll.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You really want to help? I got a great idea. What do you say we talk about something else? Let's talk about you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: My breasts are very sore. Would you mind if I spent the evening naked?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sure, yeah that's fine with me. No complaints here, that's great. See, now, isn't this a better conversation?

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Look, all I'm saying is that John Wilkes Booth was secretly a member of the Knights of the Golden Circle - affiliated with Rome.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Okay, a little friendly advice: do not mention Booth to Booth. They are related. He will shoot you.

Temperance Brennan: You shouldn't hit people. You should use your words. That's what all the books say.
Chad Fergus: Are you serious?
Seeley Booth: Well you know, she's a new mom. Come on.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Didn't they teach you, you know, how not to be irritating at shrink camp?
Dr. Lance Sweets: It was a university.

Finn Abernathy: What is that? Gold?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Looks like a...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fleur de lis. The sign of the Priory of Scion, a secret society that defies papal authority.
Angela Montenegro: Honey, honey. That's the nib of a fountain pen.
Finn Abernathy: He was stabbed in the neck with a fountain pen?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, or assassinated by the pope!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Or stabbed in the neck with a fountain pen.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Can I start buying you things now?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No. You can't. But, hey, I'll tell you what. You can start buying Christine stuff.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I know you'd like a new grill.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Christine would *love* a new grill. She would love it.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Baby girls need grills.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: They need grills. And a new tool set. What is this?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's quinoa.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Queen wha...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Quinoa. It's a grain.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You know, with a new grill, we could cook steaksijuui

Special Agent Seeley Booth: For years, Tim Murphy was homeless. He was forgotten. He was one of those people in the streets that we try not to look at because the sight of them is just too painful. But we're all cut from the same cloth. Tim knew that. He knew how connected all of us are. He knew that if it wasn't for his three buddies, that Tim wouldn't be alive on September 11th to save the lives of Diane, Warren and James.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: And we wouldn't be able to tell... Tim's son that his dad didn't die... a broken man living on the streets, Sean. But, he was as brave and noble as the best of us. We lay him to rest today a hero.

Arastoo Vaziri: What is it, Dr. Hodgins?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: You're a political exile. That is so cool.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: In a terrible, terrible way. Of course.
Arastoo Vaziri: Of course.

Finn Abernathy: What kind of trouble could a kid in high school get into that ends up with him stuffed in a suitcase and tossed off a bridge?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: As a former juvenile delinquent, I'd assume you have a string of bad decisions behind you.
Finn Abernathy: Yes, m'am.
Finn Abernathy: Just wish all of them were behind me.

Dr. Oliver Wells: The first law of thermo dynamics states that energy is neither create nor destroyed. So, when we die, all that energy has to go somewhere, right? I believe that if we die with an abundance of this power, it can become forever imprinted on the immediate environment.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: And that imprint? That's our ghost?
Dr. Oliver Wells: Mm-hmmm.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Can we keep him?

I am gonna burn the crap outta your mouth, and you are gonna love it!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: How is Mr. Viziri?
Dr. Ivan Jacobs: His vitals actually seem more stable. Clearly, the herbs helped. I came to apologize.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No need. I understand that when someone is blindly subservient to institutional authority their judgment is frequently compromised.
Dr. Ivan Jacobs: That was an eloquent insult.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I thought so.

Aldo Clemens: Booth loves you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Booth told you that?
Aldo Clemens: He confessed it to me. Not being married is a sin to him. I'm not sure a non-believer can understand that kind of sacrifice.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I wanted to marry him.
Aldo Clemens: Not as much as he wants to marry you.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You want me to have faith in him?
Aldo Clemens: You know, I've seen Booth do some terrible and, and difficult things. But, only if he was compelled by a very good reason.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: From now on when one of us has been shot at, has to tell the other one right away
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Okay, unless one of us is already dead
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Right!

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wh-what does this all mean, Sweet? Spell it out.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Well, Dr. Brennan is Pelant's endgame. He's trying to replace you. Has he done anything to prevent the two of you from getting together that we don't know about.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I'll take that as a "yes."

Dr. Oliver Wells: I get it, keep your shirt on!
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Dr. Wells, you are an intern! Please treat Dr. Brennan with the respect she's due!
Dr. Oliver Wells: I thought this was a meritocracy?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It is!
Dr. Oliver Wells: Then it was the respect she deserved.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: No, no, it wasn't, and since she is...
Dr. Oliver Wells: Please don't say: superior.
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Boss, but I will say superior if I want, because I am also your superior. Do you understand?

Aldo Clemens: And now Temperance, will you be speaking from the heart as well?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, I will be speaking from my mouth

Special Agent Seeley Booth: You should not read off that thing! News should come from the newspaper!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You also feel we should go to work on a horse?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Ha, you know, technology is not all about improvement! Me personally, I like to feel the newspaper in my hands
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I have access to over 100 newspapers and wire services. Not to mention millions of websites and blogs
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Pff, right, blogs! I mean, some guy in his underwear living in his mom's basement giving his take on the economy!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's the court's obligation to protect us.
Priest: God will look out for us.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: That, of course is absurd. We have as much of a chance of Apollo or Santa to protect us as whatever anthropomorphized fantasy figure you revere. I'm putting my faith in a marshal with a gun, any day.

Dr. Lance Sweets: You did a good thing, Booth. I know you and Angela haven't exactly been friends lately.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh, wait a second; this wasn't about Angela. I just wanted Bones to have a bachelorette party.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: "Okay"? Don't say "okay" to me.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Dr. Lance Sweets: That wasn't an "okay" okay; it was just an okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: See, you don't even know how to say just "okay".
Dr. Lance Sweets: Okay.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You said... All right, forget it.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow, that's an awful coincidence
Professor Leon Watters: The concept of coincidences is erroneous! It's possible to define a formulation of patterned interaction between within the universe
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'm sorry! Is that some kind of confession?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, just a fact

Wendell Bray: The heart-shaped pelvic inlet suggests the gender, so...
Dr. Camille Saroyan: I don't think we need bones to let us know that the victim was a male
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: We have no other way, Dr. Saroyan
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I think we do
Angela Montenegro: That mangled piece of meat is his...?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Yeah!
Wendell Bray: Breaking my arm seem like nothing now

I play chess, too. Not like you, of course. I've been trying to teach Booth, but he keeps referring to the Knights as horseys.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Uniform repeated injuries. They're all signs of a seizure.
Colin Fisher: Oh my God. You're right.
Colin Fisher: Well, I feel inadequate.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: You work with me, Mr. Fisher. I'd have thought you'd be used to that by now.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Did Carolyn give you all the information you needed on Ibrahim?
Angela Montenegro: Yeah, I hope so. I mean there is always possible the CIA is holding something back. I sound like Hodgins, huh?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well, in this case that would be prudent!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Progress is slower than I'd prefer. I had a new intern, forced upon me by the Secretary of State
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You mean the real Secretary of State?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Yes!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Wow
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Dr. Fuentes is a defector from Cuba, brilliant but arrogant!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Hmm, brilliance and arrogant! Must be real tuff to work with!
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It is
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I... I know this

Angela Montenegro: Look at this picture she posted.
Dr. Lance Sweets: What, she Photoshopped herself into that?
Angela Montenegro: It's crazy, right?
Dr. Lance Sweets: Uh, a grown woman obsessed with a giant, orange phallic

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: After Mr. Abernathy and I finished separating the remains that were mixed in with Daniel Barr's, I realized that we're missing parts of the victim.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: How? He's ash.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Based on his size, after cremation, his remains should weigh 3 kilograms. We received only 2.31 kilograms.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: So you're missing almost 2 pounds of the victim. Why can't you just say "2 pounds" instead of getting all metricky?

I am not set in my ways! I never have been, and I never will be.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Oh, it's all yours, Mr. Vaziri
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Is it me or did it just get totally awkward in here?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: It's probably the perplexing nature of the remains
Angela Montenegro: Eh, no! Actually, I think it was the "Mr. Vaziri". What's going on here?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Uh, a murder case. So if we could focus on the task at hand. The skull is all yours, Mr... Arastoo
Arastoo Vaziri: Thank you
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Is something happening that I don't understand?
Angela Montenegro: Yes!

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I'd posit that the chipped teeth suggest that a tube or funnel was forced down the victim's throat.
Colin Fisher: To fill him up with alcohol. Bastard.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: I beg your pardon?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Fisher's just starting to realize that murderers are bad.

FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: There was a report of a gunshot, I knew he was here, so...
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Where is he?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Sweets!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What happened?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I don't know. I don't know. The paramedics are on their way.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sweets, just relax. You're gonna be okay.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Booth?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Yeah, I'm right here. Don't move.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: He's not shot! I thought you said there were gunshots!
Dr. Lance Sweets: That was me, actually.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You?
Dr. Lance Sweets: I shot him.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He was hit in the nasion, the philtrum and the sternum, Booth.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Looks like massive internal trauma. He's bleeding out, Booth.
Dr. Lance Sweets: Tell Daisy not to worry. She worries too much.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course. Don't talk now, Sweets.
Dr. Lance Sweets: I fought... I fought back. You'd be proud.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Sweets, don't talk. Why are you talking all the time? Bones said don't talk.
Dr. Lance Sweets: He... he got the document.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Doesn't matter right now. You're gonna be fine.
Dr. Lance Sweets: You, too. The world is a lot better than you think it is. It's...
Special Agent Seeley Booth: N-No. No, no. You-you can start talking now, Sweets. Come on.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: He's gone, Booth. He's gone.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: No, no. No, no. No. Come on, Sweets. Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Sweets! Sweets.

But in a real sense. He's here. Sweets is a part of us. Our lives... who we all are at this moment, have been shaped by our relationships with Sweets. Well, each of us is like a delicate equation. And Sweets was the variable without which we wouldn't be who we are. I might not have married Booth. Or had Christine. Daisy certainly wouldn't be carrying his child. We are all who we are because we knew Sweets. So, I don't need a... a God to praise him or the universe he sprang from, because I loved him. I used to try and explain love, define it as the secretion of... chemicals and hormones. But I believe now, remembering Sweets, seeing what he left us, that love cannot be explained by... science or religion. It's beyond the mind, beyond reason. What I do know loving Sweets... loving each other, that's what makes life worthwhile. Right now... I don't need to know more than that. Which is embarrassing coming from an extremely intelligent, fact-based person.

FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: You are an idiot, you know that?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Excuse me.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Do you really think you're gonna do better than me?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: You should get out while you can.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Look, I know that what happened to you is messed up. And then what happened to Sweets. But remember that Sweets trusted me to work with you. So when you treat me like crap, you're treating Sweets like crap, too.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Really. Okay, what, do I have to give you quarters now so you can play the arcade games?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: C'mon. You'd be just as excited if we were at a- what are you in to? Gardening?
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I'm in to solving a murder.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: This is unbelievable; This is the third time I've been a murder suspect. It makes me want to kill someone so you don't waste your time.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: It was a joke. I'm joking.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: So, she had to have lived someplace where she could have inhaled bat guano. Man, excrement is our friend on this one. Okay, if I cross reference bat caves...
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I actually just said bat caves.

Dr. Camille Saroyan: Would you mind passing me the victim's nose?
Angela Montenegro: It's weird that that's not a weird question.

Perhaps I can walk with you and you can squeeze my hand. I did that when I was in labor and I took great comfort in knowing that Booth was in great pain too.

Jack Hodgins: Like looking for a prize at the bottom of a cereal box
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Apparently, you and I eat different kinds of cereal
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I putting my money on the mafia. The way the body was hacked up, very organized crimey
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Your speculation is a waste of my time, agent Aubrey
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Right, we'll cancel the mafia thing for now
Jack Hodgins: So much for pineapple being my least favorite topping

Jack Hodgins: Doing all right there, Dr. B? You look like something is bothering you
Camille Saroyan: Which is reasonable, reconsidering she's about to stick her hands in the body stew
Temperance Brennan: Well, I feel as if imbalance of the serotonin levels have affected my neurotransmitters. Probably caused by the fact that today is Sweets' birthday. Whatever tool was used to fell the tree, caused significant damage to the skull
Jack Hodgins: Oh, man! Sweets
Camille Saroyan: He would have been what?
Temperance Brennan: 30
Jack Hodgins: He didn't even make it to 30?

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh my God!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? You get bit?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it's my book! In the clearance section.

Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Oh my God!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: What? You get bit?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: No, it's my book! In the clearance section.

Special Agent Seeley Booth: Keep your eyes open; never know what we're walking into.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I always assume bullets.

Dr. Jack Hodgins: Okay. So. We couldn't get to the remains from the lower floors, so I finally get to use my super winch!
Special Agent Seeley Booth: Oh hey, bug boy uses a new toy.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: I'm not gonna let your cold, dark heart ruin my lucky day. Alright?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Luck has nothing to do with it, Dr. Hodgins. But, I imagine there are easier ways to look at the remains.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Wow, you guys are a couple of real downers. But, you're too late!

Dr. Camille Saroyan: I know you love to invent things, Dr. Hodgins, but you do not have permission to do that here. Confine that aspect of your life to your home, please. Is that clear?
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Sure. Sure. So you came to tell me something?
Dr. Camille Saroyan: Ah, yes. We have to dig remains out of an industrial shredder.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Oh, good! I thought it was going to be something bad!

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. It's all so confusing. These bones are so numerous. I hope it shows the funny bone. Because it's so humorous.

Seeley Booth: Yeah, so, is this Molly Delson?
Camille Saroyan: Could very well be
James Aubrey: "Could very well be" isn't enough to inform her parents!
Camille Saroyan: Could you take a tone with me? What... what's with the tone?
Seeley Booth: He's hungry

Roger Flender: Excuse me, agent Booth?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Mr. Flender, what are you doing here?
Roger Flender: Thomas Saltz came in to work today very upset. He said that you guys brought him in.
Special Agent Seeley Booth: I don't have time for your lectures on how good your men are.
Roger Flender: That's not why I'm here. Like you, I believe that Alex Rockwell is innocent.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Do you have any information important to the case?
Roger Flender: No, but you could bring me in, officially as a suspect.

FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I used to work surveillance.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Domestic surveillance? I was just startin' to like you.
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: Whatever it takes to keep you safe.

Jessica Warren: Do you ever miss anything?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Well. No one's perfect, Ms. Warren.
Jessica Warren: Very humble.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: But, I come very close.

Daisy Wick: It won't be the Jeffersonian without Dr. Brennan here.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Of course, it will, Ms. Wick. The name of this institution has nothing to do with my employment agreement. And as for this department, it has always been my wish to leave it in the hands of a new, well-trained, brilliant team of forensic anthropologists.
Daisy Wick: Oh-ohh.
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Now, let's see if I made a mistake endowing you with those qualities. What have you found?

Jack Hodgins: Wow, somebody got their hands on a world-class incendiary device
Camille Saroyan: Well, whoever it was, he really wanted to get rid of this van
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I had one of my people run the VIN. It was stolen from a mall in Baltimore this morning
Jack Hodgins: Your people?
FBI Special Agent James Aubrey: I delegated. That's how I get things done

Dr. Benjamin Metzger: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt. I'm looking for Angela Montenegro.
Dr. Jack Hodgins: Yeah, I'm her husband. Who are you?
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Whoever you are, this is not a good time for a massage or a strip tease or whatever societal function you may perform.

Wendell Bray: So, Dr. Brennan, is being back at the Jeffersonian is just like riding a bike?
Temperance Brennan: Eh, conducting a forensic examination bears no resemblance to riding a bicycle, though both are activities I greatly enjoy

Wetchil: Welcome to Sandwich Hut. I'm Jamie. What can I get you?
Seeley Booth: Answers

Seeley Booth: What's with the demon eyes?
Jack Hodgins: Michael Vincent, he flushed my lenses, so these are all I had
Seeley Booth: Right, I mean, of course you have demon prescription lenses. Right?
Jack Hodgins: You don't?
Camille Saroyan: Just change them up as soon as you can, okay, Beelzebub?

Seeley Booth: you have a tendency to say the exact wrong thing at the worst possible moment
Temperance Brennan: And then other times, I say exactly what is needed. Like this morning when I skillfully negotiated sex, not just once but twice.
Caroline Julian: God bless you, child. I couldn't have proven my point better myself.
Seeley Booth: Know what, it was three times.

Seeley Booth: I told Christine the Tooth Fairy's gonna be paying a visit.
Temperance Brennan: Actually, I'd prefer it if we didn't do that.
Seeley Booth: Why?
Temperance Brennan: It's a modern pastiche of minor myths which completely lack thought or substance.
Seeley Booth: It's tradition. There's no harm in that
Temperance Brennan: On the contrary, I don't want to teach our daughter that it is okay for a stranger to break into her room and steal discarded body parts.

Seeley Booth: There's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Special Agent Seeley Booth. And you're under arrest for the murder of Stanley Belridge.
Temperance Brennan: And I'm not Wanda. I'm Dr. Temperance Brennan. I'm also the mother of his children.

Seeley Booth: I don't want to miss that whore sauce
Temperance Brennan: Will you please stop referring to the puttanesca as "whore sauce
Seeley Booth: I'm sorry but does "puttanesca" not mean "in the style of the whore" in Italian?
Temperance Brennan: Yeah, it does, and every time I make it, I regret having told you that.

Tim: Do you have an appointment?
Seeley Booth: Don't need one. See that? FBI.

Karen Walters: We just love going viral
Temperance Brennan: So do infectious diseases

Temperance Brennan: You hear that? It's the cocking of a Colt .45 pointed directly at your head. Now lower the knife.
Seeley Booth: Thanks, Bones, I appreciate it. You know, you're lucky my partner showed up, or you would have had a bullet right in your chest. Where'd you get the gun?
Temperance Brennan: I don't have one, but I do have these handy sound files. I considered going with the pumped shotgun, but that seemed like a bit much.
Seeley Booth: Got to be kidding me

Dr. Brennan represents this Bureau and its values more than any agent that I have ever worked with. I mean, she made a mistake. Look, we all do. And we all are gonna make mistakes in the future, and we should be able to make those mistakes. We should be able to learn from them, grow from them and be given a second chance

Seeley Booth: Lightning-quick reflexes. Just like her dad, huh? Fast like a flea
Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brennan: Aw, you remembered

Seeley Booth: I read the short story that Parker gave you and he might be a better writer than you
Temperance Brennan: Well, that's an opinion I'm certain my fans would disagree with, but yes, Parker is a talented writer

Seeley Booth: I read the short story that Parker gave you and he might be a better writer than you
Temperance Brennan: Well, that's an opinion I'm certain my fans would disagree with, but yes, Parker is a talented writer

Seeley Booth: Everyone knows that laughter's the best medicine.
Temperance Brennan: No, penicillin is the best medicine. It's saved countless millions from infections.
Seeley Booth: Okay, now what? You're being funny?
Temperance Brennan: No, I'm being serious.
Seeley Booth: You'd rather take penicillin over laughter? That's like saying that you'd take mould over the Stooges.
Temperance Brennan: Penicillin is not a mould. It's derived from fungi.
Seeley Booth: Well, okay, well, the Stooges are fun guys.

Alex Duffy: Given all you've already accomplished in your life, what is it you'd like to be when you grow up, Dr. Brennan?
Temperance Brennan: That's easy. I'd like to be the mother of the world's greatest car salesperson.

Seeley Booth: You know what, I'm gonna prove it to you. Pull over and let me drive
Temperance Brennan: Great, excellent idea. Let's risk the lives of both of our children's parents so you can feel manly and virile and young
Seeley Booth: I am manly, virile and young.
Temperance Brennan: And I'm driving.

Seeley Booth: New rule, serial killers don't get cool or frightening nicknames.
Camille Saroyan: No matter how terrifying they are.

Francis Byers: Is this where he died?
Seeley Booth: No, this is where he went to heaven.
Temperance Brennan: My husband is euphemistically referring to sex By the sheer quantity...
Seeley Booth: You're gonna need a new cleaning service.

Caroline Julian: Aldo was a good man, Seeley. You have my sympathies
Seeley Booth: Thanks
Caroline Julian: You're right. Sympathy sucks

Jack Hodgins: I don't think that he was shot with these guns
Camille Saroyan: You've determined that already?
Jack Hodgins: Thanks to Parasteatoda Tepidariorum
Camille Saroyan: Hmm, what is that?
Jack Hodgins: They're spiders, Cam
Camille Saroyan: Oh God! How about a warning for us non-Latin speakers next time? Careful with that in my office!

Max Keenan: You were a little girl. We were in the car - driving - the whole family - your mom and Russ were with us. The leaves were turning -changing. And it started to drizzle. It was so quiet - you could hear the raindrops falling on the windshield. And you were in the back doing that thing you do with my ear.
Temperance Brennan: Rubbing your earlobes.
Max Keenan: It always put me at ease when I was driving. In all those years I was gone, whenever I missed you I just thought back to the rides in the car.

Angela Montenegro: How are you?
Temperance Brennan: Everyone keeps asking me that. I don't know how to answer that question

Temperance Brennan: Dr. Hodgins, you're here earlier than usual
Jack Hodgins: What? Oh, wait! Don't tell me it's morning already. Angela is going to kill me!

Temperance Brennan: The victim jumped 30 feet off an overpass and landed on a passing car
Seeley Booth: That's gonna leave a dent
Temperance Brennan: I imagine it would, given the gravitational acceleration rate of 9.8 meter per...
Seeley Booth: Ah, come on, Bones, it's too early for math. Too early
Temperance Brennan: It's never too early for math
Seeley Booth: Everything before 12 is too early, everything after 12 is too late
Temperance Brennan: That leaves no time for math
Seeley Booth: I don't want math
Temperance Brennan: I want math!

Jack Hodgins: Aubrey! Good to see you! How're you feeling this morning?
James Aubrey: To be honest, about like our victim
Jack Hodgins: Hey, don't blame me! I just mixed the drinks, you're the one that downed a dozen of them

James Aubrey: You know the saying: Once a ranger, always a ranger.
Seeley Booth: That's not the Rangers' slogan.
James Aubrey: I'm thinking of the Power Rangers.