Dopinder : Oh, I shit my pants.Deadpool : Actually, that may have been me.
Wade Wilson : Isn't that how it always works? Like in Star Wars, men are destined to become their father? And have consensual sex with their sister?Vanessa : I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie.Wade Wilson : No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her.Vanessa : Baby, that's Empire.
Domino : They're headed into the tunnel.Deadpool : I'm that kid's only hope, so sit tight and wait for my word.Domino : Whatever. We're gonna lose 'em. I'm dropping in.Deadpool : Uh, that's a negative, sole survivor. Luck is not a superpower! We are so fucked!Deadpool : No, we are most certainly not fucked.Deadpool : Seriously, I don't get it! What, you shoot luck lasers out your eyes? It's just hard to picture. And certainly not very cinematic. I mean, luck? What coked-out, glass pipe-sucking freakshow comic book artist came up with that little chestnut? Probably a guy who can't draw feet!
Cable : I was born into war, bred into it. People think they understand pain, but they have no concept of it. What's the most pain you've ever felt? Maybe the kind that leaves you more machine than man.Deadpool :Wait, no, STOP! What in the actual ass? Dale! Why, why are the visual effects not done? It's a metal arm! It's not like we're trying to remove a mustache! Oh fuck it, I'll do it myself...