People often think I am tactless and rude. I cannot understand how being honest can be improper. Maybe this is why I don't have any friends.
Read more Max Jerry Horovitz QuotesFrom: Mary and Max
My third job was for a company that printed logos on novelty items. I worked at the frisbee-printing machine. A frisbee is a circular plastic disc that people throw at each other, that is like a boomerang but it does not come back.
Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.
I have also invented some new words. "Confuzzled", which is being confused and puzzled at the same time, "snirt", which is a cross between snow and dirt, and "smushables", which are squashed groceries you find at the bottom of the bag. I have sent a letter to the Oxford Dictionary people asking them to include my words but I have not heard back.
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