Honey, you can't insulate me from life. I could live for a hundred years or get hit by a bus tomorrow. That's why I never plan more than four seconds ahead.
Read more Homer Simpson QuotesFrom: The Simpsons
Homer Simpson: I rounded up every Simpson in the tri-city area so I can prove to you there's nothing wrong with the Simpson genes. This is your great uncle Chet. Go ahead, Chet, tell her what you do.Great Uncle Chet: I run an unsuccessful shrimp company.Homer Simpson: Oh... but you *run* it, right?Great Uncle Chet: Oh, yeah.Homer Simpson: Okay... uh, this is your second cousin, Stanley!Cousin Stanley: Um, I shoot birds at the airport.Homer Simpson: [More nervously] Everybody hates birds, right?Homer Simpson: You look pretty successful!Simpson Relative 1: Thanks! I play a millionaire at parties.Simpson Relative 1: At least, I'd like to.Bart Simpson: You probably should have researched this first, eh dad?Homer Simpson: What about you?Simpson Relative 2: Well, sir, I step in front of cars and sue the drivers.Simpson Relative 3: I beg celebrities for money!Simpson Relative 4: I'm a prison snitch.Simpson Relative 5: Jug band manager.Simpson Relative 6: My legs hurt.
Thanks to you, we're having fun. Before-we-had-kids fun!
Homer Simpson: I heard somewhere your people are hospitable.Mina: That is true. You may come in.Homer Simpson: Praised be Oliver!Mina: That's Allah.Homer Simpson: We'll look it up in the Corona.