How I Met Your Mother quotes

Ted, this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here... don't ask you're not ready.

Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson: God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, although a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome. But God, if you could get me out of this, I swear I will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ev...
Barney Stinson: Oh, hang on, bro...

Barney Stinson

A few final thoughts, don't get married until you're thirty. Play laser tag once a week. Give at least as many high fives as you get. Teacup pigs are lady magnets, but are very hard to care for... Not worth the effort. The same goes for dogs and babies. And most importantly, whatever you do in this life... it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it. Good luck boys. Take care of the game for me.

Barney Stinson