How I Met Your Mother quotes

Ted Mosby: So, Karen in New York. Weird, right?
Lily Aldrin: Ted, you can not get back together with Karen.
Ted Mosby: I never said I was gonna get back together with her. But I was thinking, she's new in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?
Marshall Eriksen: No. No, Ted, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one: a super volcano. Number two: an asteroid hits the Earth. Number three: All the Evel Knievel movies are lost. Number four: Ted calls Karen. Number five: Lily gets eaten by a shark.
Lily Aldrin: I'm Lily, and I approve the order of that list.

Ted Mosby

Older Ted: It got so bad Barney even tried being his own wing man.
Barney: Hi. Have you met me?

Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson

Barney Stinson: God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, although a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome. But God, if you could get me out of this, I swear I will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ev...
Barney Stinson: Oh, hang on, bro...

Barney Stinson