How I Met Your Mother quotes

Ted Mosby: I just have to figure out how to get into Lily's room.
Marshall Eriksen: Easy. The lock on her door is busted, so...
Ted Mosby: The drainpipe!
Marshall Eriksen: What?
Ted Mosby: No big deal, I can totally climb it. I'll call you when it's done.
Marshall Eriksen: Her door is unlock-

Ted Mosby

Ted Mosby: I sent a cab with a female driver so she would have no other male interaction until she came to me.
Barney Stinson: Where she will still have no interaction with a man. What up? I feel good tonight. Tonight's gonna be good.

Ted Mosby, Barney Stinson

Ted Mosby: Marshall Eriksen, you just came back from your third date with Lily. How was it?
Marshall Eriksen: Great. Yeah. I just... I think I'm falling for this girl. Pretty hard. But isn't everything happening too fast? I mean, maybe I should see other people.
Ted Mosby: No, dude, no! Lily Aldrin is special. You hold on to that girl!
Marshall Eriksen: She is. But I'm only 18 and...
Ted Mosby: Marshall. You being 18 isn't a bad thing. It just means that you get to spend more of your life with her. I mean, I'm probably not gonna meet my wife until I'm, like... 23!

Ted Mosby